Qi Bailu thought about replying to Ruan Qiuji’s message, but all morning he would pick up his phone only to set it down again, unsure of how to respond. During breakfast, he told himself he would reply at noon; by the time he finished work in the afternoon, he pushed it to the evening. When night finally came, he read those few lines over and over, sitting before his phone for a long time, yet in the end, he didn't reply with a single word.
Since he hadn't replied immediately, responding several days later would feel strange, as if he were being indecisive about the matter. Thus, Qi Bailu simply acted as if he hadn't seen it. Ruan Qiuji, receiving no reply, was patient enough not to call. His silence was a clear signal to Qi Bailu—he was still waiting.
Qi Bailu knew he had returned to Beijing to attend a press conference for Yuntian Media. Although Ruan Qiuji didn't go on stage or accept interviews, Qi Bailu saw a photo of him in the audience. He was holding a bottle of mineral water, and in the dim light, it was hard to tell if he still looked ill.
It wasn't that Qi Bailu had gone looking for it; a photographer in his WeChat moments had posted it. That was the downside of staying in the same circle—no matter how much you circled around, you were bound to cross paths eventually.
Lin Yuewei mentioned that Ruan Qiuji would return to Xiamen on the day of the wrap party. Qi Bailu gave a non-committal "Oh."
"What does 'oh' mean?" Lin Yuewei asked.
Qi Bailu couldn't say. Aside from "oh," he didn't know what else to say.
"Do you actually want to see him, or not?" Lin Yuewei pressed.
"..."
Qi Bailu did feel a trace of sadness, but he didn't think he was making it obvious. Yet, Lin Yuewei saw right through him.
"Do I look like I'm suffering from a breakup?"
"You're fine. It’s not like it’s your first time, anyway," Lin Yuewei said calmly.
Qi Bailu shot her a silent look, the intensity of which was like throwing a small knife. By now, those past events that were never mentioned could finally be brought up; everyone around him was moving forward. As a child, he had grown used to losing his mother and a complete family; later, he grew used to losing Zheng Kunyu. Now, he could get used to losing Ruan Qiuji as well.
Habit was something that could be cultivated with enough patience and time. However, on the day *Golden Branches and Jade Leaves* wrapped, Ruan Qiuji appeared before him once more. It was mid-November, and the weather wasn't yet cold. The crew had booked a seafood stall, with over a hundred people filling nearly twenty tables. The production manager had originally wanted to book a hotel, hang banners, and set up a podium for speeches, but Lin Yuewei had stopped him. Thus, the wrap party ended up being a simple dinner.
Qi Bailu sat at a table with the producer and other lead creators, with one seat reserved for Ruan Qiuji. Logically, it would have been normal for him not to show up; it wasn't some lavish banquet. Qi Bailu had just finished pouring Sprite for Lin Yuewei when he looked up and saw Ruan Qiuji walking through the crowd. He wasn't wearing formal attire, just a bomber jacket; few people recognized him. Reaching the table, Ruan Qiuji pulled out a pink plastic chair and sat down, right at Qi Bailu’s left hand.
As soon as Ruan Qiuji sat, the others began greeting him. The atmosphere at the table turned bureaucratic and formal. Qi Bailu was the only one who didn't say a word, making him stand out. The production manager said jovially, "Bailu, why don't you have a drink with President Ruan first?" and moved to pour them some wine.
Ruan Qiuji turned his body toward Qi Bailu but didn't look at him. He simply said, "The food isn't even served yet. Why drink now?"
With that, the production manager couldn't insist. Ruan Qiuji blocked the wine, but at the same time, with a sense of familiarity that felt out of place, he set his glass down in front of Qi Bailu. It was a gesture asking for Sprite. Qi Bailu hadn't even screwed the cap back on; he clutched the bottle and glanced at him. Ruan Qiuji happened to be looking back. Qi Bailu had no choice but to fill the glass and hand it over.
"Thank you," Ruan Qiuji said.
His expression was neutral, showing no sign of the friction he’d had with Qi Bailu, nor any awareness of a "breakup." Qi Bailu had a bad premonition.
Lin Yuewei returned from washing her hands just then. Seeing the two of them sitting together, her eyebrows shot up, but she said nothing. Qi Bailu played dumb while Ruan Qiuji remained as steady as a rock. The meal proceeded in relative peace, aside from the occasional brush of their elbows. During the final round of drinks, Qi Bailu felt pressured by the occasion to toast Ruan Qiuji. Ruan Qiuji raised his glass to clink against his, watching him finish before drinking his own. Qi Bailu felt a slight sense of dread, fearing that if Ruan Qiuji got drunk, he might do something in front of all these people—because the disguise in Ruan Qiuji’s gaze was gradually peeling away.
Fortunately, until the end of the wrap party, Ruan Qiuji didn't do anything outrageous. Toward the end, everyone lost their inhibitions and ate and drank freely. Qi Bailu focused his attention on the food in front of him. As the moon rose above the treetops, the guests began to leave in small groups. Amidst the sounds of mutual farewells, the parting felt a bit more melancholic. Finally, only three or four people with an appetite for conversation remained. Looking around, the shop was left with nothing but a mess of plates and rows of pink plastic chairs.
Qi Bailu slipped out for some air. The outdoor tables were all empty. He opened the beverage cooler, took out a bottle of yogurt, and found a chair to sit in. He took off his coat, letting the night breeze sober him up. Inside, Lin Yuewei was talking to an actress, their loud laughter drifting out from time to time. As Qi Bailu was finishing his drink, he heard footsteps approaching, stopping right behind him.
Qi Bailu knew it was Ruan Qiuji. He tossed the empty bottle into a nearby trash can and saw Ruan Qiuji standing slightly behind him to the side, a half-finished cigarette in his hand.
Neither spoke first. Qi Bailu turned back to look at the artificial river, eventually leaning against the back of the chair in a daze. Ruan Qiuji stood there until he finished his cigarette. After a while, Qi Bailu felt thirsty. He stood up and found Ruan Qiuji still there, his gaze also fixed on the shimmering ripples of the river.
He grabbed another bottle of yogurt from the cooler. Ruan Qiuji asked, "What is your answer?"
Qi Bailu closed the cooler door and tried to leave, but Ruan Qiuji reached out to block his path. Qi Bailu tried to sidestep him, but Ruan Qiuji grabbed his wrist and pulled him back against the cooler.
Qi Bailu turned his face away, looking toward the door. No one came out. Ruan Qiuji said, "Are you afraid to answer?"
The posture was as if he were about to kiss him. Seeing Ruan Qiuji leaning in, Qi Bailu said, "I made it very clear before."
"I'm not clear. Say it again."
The man was being utterly unreasonable. Qi Bailu wanted to stomp on his foot, but in the next moment, Ruan Qiuji firmly gripped his chin, pinned him against the glass door of the cooler, and kissed him. Qi Bailu could still hear the laughter of Lin Yuewei and the others, as well as the sound of the stall waiters clearing tables—glasses clinking against chopsticks, chairs being dragged across the floor.
Qi Bailu tried to pinch Ruan Qiuji’s arm, but Ruan Qiuji instead used his hand to cradle the back of his head, sucking at his lips and tongue. Kissing was an exhausting endeavor, especially with Ruan Qiuji holding him so tightly. Qi Bailu was kissed into a daze. In a brief gap when they pulled apart, he turned his head, panting, "What are you doing?"
Ruan Qiuji stared into his eyes from inches away. No matter which way Qi Bailu tried to look, he couldn't escape that gaze, so he could only frown at him. Ruan Qiuji used the back of his hand to brush against the flush on Qi Bailu’s cheek. It wouldn't rub off; the desire and memories that had seeped into the skin could not be erased.
"Let's start over."
His tone was heavy. While Qi Bailu was still stunned, Ruan Qiuji looked straight at him and said, "Forget everything from your past."
After Ruan Qiuji finished speaking, Qi Bailu steadied his breathing. It took a good while before he pushed him away, forgetting even to drink the yogurt he held. Ruan Qiuji said, "I'll take that as your tacit agreement."
Qi Bailu reacted immediately. "I didn't agree."
Ruan Qiuji smiled slightly, though there was no mirth in his eyes. He said flatly, "Your words don't count."
"You say they don't count, so they don't count?"
Ruan Qiuji nodded.
Lin Yuewei pushed aside the layers of plastic curtains and walked out, only to see Qi Bailu "quarreling" with Ruan Qiuji. The two stood in the dim yellow light, their shadows stretching long across the concrete, seemingly arguing over what did or didn't count. Ruan Qiuji held Qi Bailu’s hand; Qi Bailu looked quite unwilling. Lin Yuewei crossed her arms, watching the show. When Qi Bailu looked up and saw her, he used his eyes to warn Ruan Qiuji that someone was there. Only then did Ruan Qiuji nonchalantly withdraw his hand.
"Ready to go?" Qi Bailu walked over to her and asked.
Lin Yuewei tilted her chin, indicating the person following behind him. Ruan Qiuji stood at the bottom of the steps and said, "Director Lin probably won't mind if I join you all tomorrow."
Although the movie wrapped today, Qi Bailu still had to stay here with Lin Yuewei for two days to film documentary behind-the-scenes footage. They had mentioned this at the dinner table. Qi Bailu gave Ruan Qiuji a sullen look. Lin Yuewei looked between the two of them and said indifferently, "You'll have to ask Bailu about that."
Qi Bailu spoke to the air, "He can come if he wants. No one’s going to pay attention to him anyway."
Lin Yuewei gave Ruan Qiuji a look that said *you heard him*. Qi Bailu pulled back the plastic curtain and went inside. As Lin Yuewei was about to follow, Ruan Qiuji suddenly asked, "Has he ever thrown a tantrum like that with you?"
Qi Bailu had walked far enough away that he didn't hear their conversation. Lin Yuewei wasn't afraid of offending Ruan Qiuji and teased, "I thought rabbits only bit bad people."
In any case, he’d never bitten her. Whoever got bitten deserved it.
Ruan Qiuji said, "See you tomorrow."
Lin Yuewei saw his calm and composed manner and knew Ruan Qiuji was pretending not to have heard the jab. She thought to herself that Qi Bailu had bitten too lightly; he should have taken a real chunk of flesh out of him to make him learn his lesson.
Near midnight, the last few people packed up and left, leaving only Qi Bailu and Lin Yuewei. A waiter was mopping the floor inside, so they took their beers outside to drink. The moonlight was quite nice. The two sat in silence for a while, enjoying a rare moment of tranquility. Lin Yuewei suddenly said, "It’s his birthday this month, isn't it?"
They didn't specify who "he" was.
Qi Bailu took a sip of beer. "I almost forgot."
"Really?"
Qi Bailu nodded, then shook his head. "It’s impossible for a person to completely forget the past unless their brain is broken."
Ruan Qiuji’s words "Let's start over" sounded free and tempting, but no one could truly start from scratch. To walk forward, one had to carry the memories of the past, climbing along the roots the past had planted. As moving as the sentiment was, it was equally illusory. Ruan Qiuji surely understood that himself.
Lin Yuewei toyed with the pull-tab of her soda can, trying it on each of her fingers. After playing for a moment, she took Qi Bailu’s hand and slipped the tab onto his ring finger.
Qi Bailu looked down. He hadn't worn a ring in a long time; the thin metal circle felt uncomfortable against his finger. Lin Yuewei blinked and said, "Even if you can't forget the past, you can still have a new life."
Having said her piece, Lin Yuewei let the subject drop. Qi Bailu knew what she was referring to. He followed her gaze to the moon overhead.
"Happy wrap," Lin Yuewei said.
Qi Bailu said softly, "Happy wrap."
***
