Fatal to Pretend With a Cheat | Chapter 43 | The Value of a Guard | Novela.app

Before heading out, I sat there shuffling through a stack of silver certificates, counting them over and over. Since it was a holiday, it felt appropriate to hand out some red envelopes to give the youngsters something to be happy about. However, I wasn't sure how much was right. Was a hundred taels too much or too little? Should I give silver or gold? Gold might be pushing it—what if someone noticed something suspicious and I was forced to roll back my save? Having no clue, I turned to outside help. "Ah-Tan, I want to give Ye Xiao, Qi Qi, and the others some tips before we leave. How much do you think is appropriate?" Ye Tan stood silently and obediently by the window. "As the Master commands," he replied. I was deeply dissatisfied. "I’m asking *you*. Can we have a proper conversation? If you don't want to talk, I’ll go consult someone else." Ye Tan thought for a moment and replied seriously, "Master has always been generous. A string of cash should suffice." I fell into deep thought. A string of cash. After pondering for a long time, I finally had to ask, "How much is a string of cash?" Ye Tan glanced at me, then lowered his head again. "To answer Master: one thousand copper coins make a string. One tael of silver is worth three strings." ... I began to suspect that Ye Tan’s definition of "generous" was somewhat flawed. Then again, as someone with a cognitive disability regarding the local cost of living, I probably wasn't qualified to question him. I asked again, "Is that too little? What can you even buy with a string of cash?" Ye Tan replied, "The trinkets and snacks at the temple fair usually only cost a few coins. A string of cash is more than enough; one couldn't possibly spend it all." I see. Well, that did sound like a fair amount. But then I thought about my status as a literal Creator God. Handing out a red envelope and saying, "Here, I reward you with one-third of a tael of silver"... ...How pathetic. How stingy. I couldn't bear it. I stepped out of the room and hollered, "We're heading out!" Ye Xiao pushed Ye Lan out. Ye Lan was wearing a moon-white long robe and looked incredibly uncomfortable. It was the first time I’d seen him in a light color, and it was quite striking. Ye Xiao said proudly, "How is it, Boss? Looks good, right? I picked it out." I nodded. "Yes, it looks great. But why are you still in all black? Why didn't you dress like him?" Ye Xiao scratched his head. "I'm not used to wearing such flashy colors. I always feel like I'm turning myself into a target." Ye Lan immediately followed up with, "I am also very unaccustomed to it." Ye Xiao, used to this, snapped, "Suck it up." Ye Lan followed suit instantly. "Alright." Actually, speaking of which, Ye Tan was also wearing new clothes today. During our last trip to the tailor shop, we had arranged for a tailor to come to the house. After taking measurements, several sets were custom-made according to Ye Tan's instructions. I had assumed Ye Tan didn't care about fashion and would just say a word or two, but to my surprise, he had spent a long time whispering instructions to the tailor and even drew up some diagrams for him. Seeing him so invested, even I couldn't help but look forward to the result. When they arrived, they were all solid black. Every single outfit was identical; it was impossible to tell them apart. Noticing my confusion, Ye Tan flipped over a corner of a collar and pointed. "Each one is numbered so they won't get mixed up." Black Outfit No. 1, Black Outfit No. 2, Black Outfit No. 3, and so on. I was speechless. "Then what were you talking to the tailor about for so long?" I asked. Ye Tan began flipping through various corners of the garment to show me. "There are four hidden pockets here at the cuffs—silver needles go here, knockout powder goes there. This strap on the side of the leg can hold thirty flying blades. And here on the trouser leg..." I quickly raised my hands in a respectful salute. "Fine. I’m impressed." So, there would be no "dress-up play" between Ye Tan and me. At most, I could ask, "Which number are you wearing today?" Ye Tan would reply in all seriousness, "To answer Master: Number Seven." Sigh. Meaningless. I had nothing to say. Qi Qi emerged just then, clutching the hem of her skirt. Her hair wasn't tied up in a bun but flowed down her shoulders like silk. Today, she had rarely chosen a long dress—a water-blue *ruqun* paired with a brocade sash. Fearing it would drag on the ground, she held a section up, revealing a pair of snow-white little boots. Seeing us all staring at her without moving, Qi Qi blushed. "Why are you looking at me like that... I—I know it's not practical..." Ye Xiao immediately blurted out, "Qi Qi is super cute!!" I nodded. "It just feels like something is missing." Ye Xiao and I squatted beside her, observing for a long while. I asked, "Should she be wearing a flower?" Ye Xiao agreed, "Right! Qi Qi, don't you have any silver ornaments or hairpins?" Qi Qi replied, "Of course not!" I hurriedly said, "We'll buy some at the temple fair later. Let's just pick something available for now to make do..." I looked around the yard. There were only scallions and garlic sprouts. I remembered that when I first bought this estate, there were a few rose and crabapple bushes. Looking at it now, they had all been unknowingly replaced by vegetables and seasonings. How tragic. Qi Qi had truly sacrificed too much for this "Misfit Brigade"... I shuffled over to a corner of the wall and squatted down, beckoning them over. "Ye Xiao, Ye Lan, Qi Qi—come here. Squat down next to me." The three of them stood over me, looking down with expressions one might use for a complete idiot. "Squat down, get closer," I urged. Ye Xiao squatted beside me and asked, "Boss, what are you doing?" This corner of the wall should be a blind spot; the people monitoring us shouldn't be able to see. I pulled several silver certificates from my robe and distributed them to the three of them, whispering surreptitiously, "It's a holiday, so here are some red envelopes. I'm giving these to you secretly, so don't tell anyone." Ye Xiao counted his. "Whoa! Ten taels? That much!" I thought solemnly: *This is the absolute lowest limit I could force myself to give. I couldn't go any lower.* Qi Qi gripped her certificate. "Isn't this too much? This is enough to buy two and a half of me..." Hearing this, Ye Xiao immediately teased her smugly, "Hahahaha, you really are cheap! My market value is two thousand taels! Pretty impressive, right?" Qi Qi said angrily, "You're calling me cheap again! How can someone be so bad at talking?!" I remembered that I had also mocked her for being cheap when we first met. Feeling deeply ashamed, I wanted to comfort her, so I pointed at Ye Tan in the distance. "By the way, Qi Qi, do you know how much Ye Tan cost?" Qi Qi shook her head. "Brother Ye Tan must have been very expensive." I encouraged her, "Take a guess." Qi Qi lowered her head and thought for a while before saying, "If I were Brother Ye Tan's master, no matter how much money someone offered me, I wouldn't be willing to sell him." ... I was stunned. "Crap, since when did you two get so close?!" Qi Qi huffed in annoyance. "Every morning before I even wake up, Brother Ye Tan has already bought the groceries, washed them, and chopped the firewood before going to practice his sword. At noon, he helps me wash the clothes and air out the quilts. He does so much! Not like you three useless people who do nothing but eat and sleep." Ye Xiao and I lowered our heads in shame. Wait, no—I actually *am* a useless person with severed meridians and an empty qi sea. What do I have to be ashamed of? I forced the conversation back on track. "Cough, no, buying Ye Tan only cost one tael." Qi Qi gasped. "What?!" I explained, "Because he had been broken by his previous master, he was on clearance for free. That one tael wasn't even his price; it was the processing fee." Qi Qi froze for a moment, then suddenly flew into a rage and stomped hard on my shoe. "Brother Ye Tan must have been so sad about that! And you're still making jokes about it! You're too much!!" Ye Tan quickly stepped in and lifted Qi Qi away. "You must not be rude to the Master." Qi Qi bit her lower lip, looking like she was about to cry. Ye Tan panicked as well. "Please, don't cry. I don't mind this matter at all... In fact, it is thanks to that circumstance that I am able to serve Master. It is the greatest stroke of luck in my life." I added, "Exactly. I was very poor back then; I only had one tael of silver on me. If the processing fee had been even half a copper coin more expensive, I wouldn't have been able to pick up Ah-Tan." Only then did Qi Qi’s expression stabilize. I said earnestly, "So, Qi Qi, you aren't the cheapest one in this garden. You see, market value doesn't represent anything. Right, Ah-Tan?" Ye Tan was half-kneeling on the ground, brushing the dust Qi Qi had left on the tip of my shoe. Without looking up, he replied, "Yes." Ye Tan was usually so quiet and stoic, yet it turned out everyone liked him so much. Even Qi Qi, who usually spent her days sniping at us, protected him. It was quite miraculous. How did he do it? I quickly pulled him up. "Don't worry about that. Let's go." I realized it was the first time I’d heard Ye Xiao’s price, so I asked casually, "By the way, what about Ye Lan?" "...Two thousand three hundred," Ye Xiao said, suddenly sounding deflated. I marveled, "Oh, so you're actually cheaper than him." "It couldn't be helped. His track record was excellent; he took the top spot in the trials countless times. If he hadn't gone simple, he probably would have been appraised at four thousand taels." Ye Xiao looked up at Ye Lan, his tone very low. Ye Lan gazed back at him blankly, seemingly not understanding why he was sad. Just as I was about to comfort this pair of ill-fated souls, Ye Xiao suddenly burst into laughter. "But that day, the Boss only brought a total of four thousand-some taels. Hahahaha! Luckily this guy went simple, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to afford him that day." "Even though my market value is high, this is the first time I've ever held this much money," Ye Xiao declared with a heroic wave of his hand. "Let's go! My treat! I'll take you all out for the best food and drink!" Ye Tan: "Do not walk in front of the Master." Ye Xiao: "Oh. Sorry." My dignity was entirely saved by Ye Tan. *** Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation ---|---|--- 银票 | Silver certificates | Paper currency backed by silver. 一贯钱 | A string of cash | A traditional unit of currency consisting of 1,000 copper coins. 月白色 | Moon-white | A very pale blue or off-white color. 襦裙 | Ruqun | A traditional Chinese outfit consisting of a short blouse (ru) and a long skirt (qun). 披帛 | Brocade sash / Pibo | A long, scarf-like piece of silk draped over the arms or shoulders in traditional dress. 残联 | Misfit Brigade / Ragtag Crew | Literally "Disabled Persons' Federation"; used here as a self-deprecating joke for their group. 手续费 | Processing fee / Handling fee | In this context, the administrative cost of transferring ownership of a shadow guard. 一期一会 | Ichi-go ichi-e | A Japanese cultural concept (often used in tea ceremony) meaning "one time, one meeting" or "once in a lifetime." (Mentioned in context).