Gui Mao had not yet drifted into a dream when he was startled awake by the sound of frantic footsteps. In the dead silence of the night, the noise was jarring, each step feeling as though it were treading directly upon his heart. The newcomer rushed to his side with desperate haste, then braked sharply, coming to a halt half a zhang away.
When Gui Mao opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of Bing Xu leaning against a tree trunk, gasping for air while watching him. He was panting heavily, but the moment he saw Gui Mao wake, he immediately covered his mouth to stifle his breath. Making not a sound, he whispered, "I’m sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep."
Gui Mao looked up at the moon hanging high in the sky and felt a massive headache coming on. "Didn't I tell you to go to the assembly point? Why are you being disobedient again?"
"I didn't, I didn't," Bing Xu defended himself hurriedly. "I already went." He reached into his robes and pulled out a thin sheet of paper, crumpled from being shoved away in haste. He smoothed it out before Gui Mao like a child seeking praise. "Tomorrow's map. I brought it."
Bing Xu stared at him with bright, shimmering eyes, waiting for a compliment. It took Gui Mao a long moment to process what had happened. "You... you already ran there and back?"
Bing Xu said sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I remembered the location wrong and took a wrong turn... it delayed me a bit."
"Where is the antidote?!" Gui Mao’s heart hammered against his ribs as he asked in a trembling voice.
Bing Xu looked blank. "What antidote?"
"The small white pill I’ve been making you swallow every night for the past few days!" Gui Mao was so exasperated he tried to jump up and cuff him, but the moment he rose, a piercing pain shot through his ankle. He collapsed halfway through the motion. Bing Xu caught him by the collar to haul him up, still looking utterly confused about what Gui Mao meant.
In truth, Gui Mao knew there was no point in asking. The antidote and the next day’s poison were always distributed together; one couldn't obtain them until exactly the hour of Zi.
"What time is it now?!" Gui Mao felt as if his hair were on fire; his previous exhaustion had vanished without a trace. Bing Xu shook his head honestly. Gui Mao knew asking was futile, so he gave the boy a hard shove and barked, "Don't just stand there like an idiot! Get back there now, maybe you'll make it in time!"
Bing Xu took a step back and asked unhurriedly, "Make it for what?"
"The antidote! Have you forgotten?!" Gui Mao told himself time was of the essence, swallowing the ten thousand curses he wanted to hurl at the boy's ancestors. "I told you on the first day—you have to take the medicine at the assembly point every night at the hour of Zi. If you don't, you'll die! Did you just let it go in one ear and out the other?"
Bing Xu defended himself in a small voice, "You never told me."
Gui Mao: "..."
Bing Xu was stared down so fiercely he retreated two more steps, asking cautiously, "What about you?"
"You and I ate the same thing. Do you need the antidote too?" Bing Xu slowly began to understand what was happening. He grabbed Gui Mao’s wrist with a firm grip. "I won't let anything happen to you again."
"...Where did this 'again' come from?" Gui Mao was baffled. He rarely even got injured; when had anything major ever happened to him?
"Last time, I failed to save you... I regretted it so much, and I was so scared. I couldn't beat them; there were too many of them..." Bing Xu’s expression grew clouded and chaotic. The hand gripping Gui Mao began to tremble—a precursor to a manic episode. Gui Mao quickly called out to snap him back to reality: "Wake up, Bing Xu."
Hearing those few words, Gui Mao could roughly guess what the boy had conjured up in his mind. Suspecting Bing Xu might suffer from mild delusions, he pulled him into an embrace to soothe him. "It’s just a dream. Don't believe it; it isn't real."
"You don't have to lie to me, I know. Actually, this side is the dream..." Bing Xu buried his face in Gui Mao’s shoulder, his eyelashes pressing against the skin of his neck, leaving a patch of damp, warm moisture. "You don't know me at all. You wouldn't talk to me, you wouldn't hold me... I must have been dreaming all along..."
"Even if it is a dream... Gui Mao, I beg you, don't die," Bing Xu sobbed as he held him.
Gui Mao let out a sigh that ruined the tragic atmosphere. "I'm about to die. If we don't get the antidote by the hour of Zi, we'll be martyred lovers together. Do you really have time to sit here and cry?"
Bing Xu lifted his head, his eyes red. He muttered a belated, "Oh, right." Maintaining the embrace, he scooped Gui Mao up, slung him over his shoulder, and suddenly broke into a wild sprint, bolting into the distance.
Gui Mao hesitated for a second, wanting to tell the boy to put him down. After all, Bing Xu had just run a full round trip; his physical strength was already depleted. Now, carrying an extra person, the odds of success were infinitesimal. But remembering the boy's reaction just now, Gui Mao knew any protest would be in vain.
Fine. If they didn't make it, they didn't make it. To share a bed in life and a grave in death—perhaps that wasn't such a bad fate.
But what if they actually made it...
Amidst the jarring jolts of the run, Gui Mao reached up and ruffled Bing Xu’s messy, short hair. He didn't quite dare to contemplate the answer to that "what if."
Whenever Gui Mao thought of Bing Xu, or thought of the future, he could only envision death. He thought of when the boy might lose his life in the training grounds, or which of them would go first. Most often, he thought of the day they would finally complete their training and be assigned to their respective masters. They would be worlds apart, acting as shields for their lords, until their bodies were too broken to be mended and they were discarded to rot in the wilderness, nameless and forgotten.
Even if they never met again, if they could just live peacefully for ten or twenty years, that would be the most realistic and lucky ending he could imagine.
He couldn't exactly hope for the Ye Xing organization to suddenly collapse, for them to regain their freedom, and then, with mutual affection, spend their days tending fields, raising chickens and ducks, and herding cattle—settling down into a permanent life together.
He only wished for them both to be heartless people.
Then there would be no grief in parting, and no need to fear the finality of death.
As Gui Mao’s thoughts drifted, his breath began to hitch. A sharp pain radiated from his heart to his lungs. He realized then that the hour of Zi was approaching; the poison was beginning to take effect.
Bing Xu was naturally faring even worse. He lost his footing and fell from a tree branch once, yet he still shielded Gui Mao carefully, ensuring he didn't hit the ground. Bing Xu used the momentum to roll and scramble back to his feet. Without waiting for Gui Mao to speak, he lunged forward again.
Exhausted to the point of collapse, Bing Xu somehow managed to run even faster, reaching the assembly point at the very last possible moment.
The moment Gui Mao hit the ground and checked Bing Xu’s condition, his heart leaped in terror. Bing Xu had forcibly pushed his internal qi to such an extent that blood was streaming from his nose, mouth, and ears. His face was ghastly. The moment he stopped, he collapsed face-first; he didn't even have the strength to crawl back up. Gui Mao hurriedly collected the antidotes, propped him up, and stuffed one into his mouth.
Bing Xu gripped Gui Mao’s sleeve weakly, murmuring indistinctly, "I'm so tired... going to sleep for a bit... don't run away while I'm sleeping..."
Before Gui Mao could comfort him, the weight on his wrist grew heavy. Bing Xu had passed out.
Had he known the boy's endurance and speed were so staggering, Gui Mao would have simply asked him to carry him from the start. There would have been no need to burden him with an extra round trip.
Gui Mao suddenly realized that for all these many days, Bing Xu hadn't been chasing him. He had been waiting for him.
***
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Fatal to Pretend With a Cheat | Chapter 59 | The Midnight Return | Novela.app | Novela.app
