Her 4.3 Billion Years | Chapter 103 | The Price of Memory | Novela.app

In all the years she had known Su Shiye, this was the first time Fan Li realized his grip could be so powerful. The hand clamped around her arm felt like a steel frame bolted in place, pinning her down. She tried to struggle, but she couldn't move even a millimeter. "It hurts... let go," Fan Li’s brows knitted together in pain. "Where do you think you're going?" "Home." Fan Li tried to push his hand away with her right hand, but that wrist was immediately seized by Su Shiye as well. He stared at her with a cold, murderous gaze. "Going back to find someone to call for backup?" "I'm not looking for backup. I’m just going back to my apartment in Baman Boya..." "Oh? Is that so?" Though he said the words, there wasn't a hint of suspicion on his face. He simply watched her with the silent, deep breaths of a lurking wolf. Her wrists throbbed under his grip. Gritting her teeth, she said, "Your Majesty Su Shiye, please let go. It really hurts. It’s not good if people see us like this; they’ll get the wrong idea." "What 'wrong idea'?" "That there’s something... improper between us. This isn't right." "Is there not something improper between us?" Su Shiye blinked, looking away as if deep in thought. "You’re right. It’s not 'improper,' because we’ve already done everything there is to do." Fan Li’s heart skipped a beat at his words. She lowered her voice. "Why bring up things from centuries ago? You have a girlfriend now..." "Centuries ago? Then who is your 'current' affair?" Su Shiye ignored her words. His gaze returned to her, slowly traveling from her chin to her neck, then down to her chest, waist, hips, and legs, his eyes growing colder by the second. "What have you done with those men?" "That doesn't matter. Stop talking about this." "The things you did with me—you did them with all of them, didn't you?" His voice dropped lower. In truth, she hadn't. Aside from Su Shiye, no one could be that... deeply intimate with her. It was an objective physiological advantage he held, one she couldn't deny even if she wanted to. Sometimes she even wondered if she was simply obsessed with his extraordinary innate traits. But whenever that thought arose, the memory of his youthful, desire-less gaze would make her feel that their love had been pure. Yet, every time she thought him pure, his passionate and wild side would invade her senses through her memories... Even though it had happened hundreds of years ago, it was all vivid in her mind. But she didn't want to show it. She didn't want to disturb him or let her feelings become an extra burden for him. Indeed, he had faced his past quite openly, but to him now, having loved her must seem like a worthless endeavor. Fan Li closed her eyes, forcing herself to stop thinking. "It has nothing to do with you!" She feigned anger, struggling with all her might and raising her voice. "Let me go!" Her voice drew Yu Jin over from the doorway. "Sister Fan Li!" Yu Jin looked at the two of them in shock. Su Shiye’s focus wavered for a split second. Fan Li seized the chance to break free, but she moved with too much force and slammed into the marble pillar behind her. Her heel clipped the base of the pillar, and she lost her balance. The sharp "skirt" of a statue nearby sliced a ten-centimeter bloody gash into her calf. She hissed in pain and crouched down, clutching the wound. Su Shiye took a sharp breath and stepped forward. "Li..." But because of his brief hesitation, Yu Jin beat him to it, rushing to Fan Li’s side and kneeling down. "Sister Fan Li!" "Xiao Yu...!" It didn't actually hurt as much as she expected, but when Fan Li saw her palm covered in blood, she nearly fainted from the shock. The world seemed to spin. "This... I’m going to die..." "No, no, it’s just a superficial wound. You won't die." Yu Jin stroked Fan Li’s head. "Don't be afraid, I’m here. I’ll carry you back." When Yu Jin was a child, he possessed a passive "adorable" skill—any woman who saw him, from young girls to old ladies, would immediately break into a doting smile and want to pinch his cheeks. Before his growth spurt, many women his mother's age had called him the cutest child they had ever seen. The current Yu Jin had lost that particular skill. He couldn't make Fan Li smile like she used to just by existing; his pouty lips and chubby tail had long since vanished. Years of brutal military training had stripped away his ability to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he had gained a new power. He leaned down and swept Fan Li up in a bridal carry, making her gasp. She was so light, like a toy doll. To keep herself from falling, Fan Li reflexively hooked her arms around his neck, looking up at him. "Xiao Yu, I can walk on my own..." His eyes were dark, having become long and deep at some point she hadn't noticed. He had known Sister Fan Li for four hundred and forty-three years, and this was the closest they had ever been. He gazed into her eyes. "You’re injured. Don't take risks." He had grown up, and she was even more beautiful than before. Now she was in his arms. She was so petite, her waist so slender, her fingers so delicate—just like when he had seen Xing Hai holding her all those years ago. Her sea-tangle red hair brushed against his arms, flowing over his military uniform, his broad shoulders, and his silver epaulettes. It made his thoughts muddle and his breathing grow difficult. "Sister Fan Li, hold onto my neck tight. Don't fall." If only he didn't have to call her "Sister" anymore, it would be perfect. In the past, Fan Li would never have acted so fragile. But looking at Su Shiye now, she felt as if she had been stabbed dozens of times. She had no strength left; she only wanted to cut ties with him completely and never see him again. So, she leaned her head against Yu Jin’s shoulder and said with forced sweetness, "Thank you, Xiao Yu. You really are such a good boy." "Respecting the elderly and cherishing the young—it’s only natural." "..." *Don't undermine me at a time like this, okay?* She mouthed to Yu Jin: *Play along, Xiao Yu!* Yu Jin narrowed his eyes. He knew exactly what she was saying, but he pretended to misunderstand. "Hmm? You’re asking about your weight? I’ve trained hard, but my arms are about to break. May the God of Gante bless my arms so they last until tomorrow..." "..." Fan Li pinched the bridge of her nose and gave up, simply urging him to leave quickly. "My apologies, Your Majesty Su Shiye. Sister Fan Li is injured; I’m taking her for treatment." "Put her down. I will take her," Su Shiye said. His expression was unreadable. "Your Majesty’s medical staff are all of the Fel constitution. It wouldn't be appropriate for them to treat Sister Fan Li, who has an Arcane constitution." Although Yu Jin was smiling, his aura was formidable. "There is no need to trouble Your Majesty with such a small matter." But when it came to aura, Su Shiye had never lost. "I said, put her down." "I won't. What does Your Majesty intend to do?" Yu Jin gave him a cool, sidelong glance. "Kill me?" Su Shiye pointed at the ground. Twelve skeletons rose from the spot he indicated—they wore black cloaks and carried scythes wrapped in grey shadows. They emitted a continuous, rasping "ha" sound like the breath of the dead, blocking Yu Jin’s path. This was the high-level Fel soul-consuming technique: "Advent of the Reaper." There was no way to break it; the one with the higher energy reserves won. The loser would have their spirit devoured, followed by their physical body. It was common knowledge that in the entire ocean, Su Shiye held the highest Fel energy reserves. Fan Li’s Arcane power was a match for him, but in the deep sea, it was weakened by over 90%. Su Shiye lowered his hand and said nothing more. His meaning was clear. "Your Majesty Su Shiye, let Xiao Yu take me for treatment," Fan Li finally found the courage to speak. "I don't wish to trouble you for help. Thank you." Su Shiye didn't move, but within his golden irises, his pupils narrowed into two thin, sharp black slits. Fan Li gave Yu Jin a look. The sight of so many Reapers ahead was enough to make one's skin crawl. But Yu Jin walked forward with total composure. The twelve phantoms turned toward them, but since they received no further orders from Su Shiye, they simply stood in place and vanished shortly after. Over Yu Jin’s shoulder, Fan Li stole one last look at Su Shiye. He remained standing where he was, his white hair obscuring one eye. He was tall and expressionless, looking exactly like the stone statues that had slept in the deep sea for hundreds of millions of years. *** Back in the Baman Boya vessel, Fan Li sighed. "Xiao Yu has grown into a real man. I don't know if it’s just because I’m getting old, but I’ve been reminiscing a lot lately. I always feel like you’re still that little squirt from back then. But you’re already over five hundred years old." "I was never that much younger than you. You just cheated by pretending to be of the Sea Race and growing up too fast," Yu Jin said as he applied medicine to her leg, kneeling beside her and using his faint Arcane energy to help her heal. "Oh? Not acting cute anymore?" Fan Li rested her chin on her hand, teasing him. "It’s true, you aren't young anymore. Has your father set you up on any blind dates?" "No. Who goes on blind dates at five hundred? My six-thousand-year-old sister is still single." "If he won't set you up, you can find someone yourself. We live in an era of free love now. Or is it that nobody wants you? Hahaha!" "Nonsense!" Yu Jin huffed. "It’s not like it’s hard for me to find a girlfriend. I just don't want to." "Is that so? Well, if you find someone nice, bring her to see me. I’m a good judge of character." "Stop acting like an elder. Face reality—we’re peers." "Oh, now you want to be my peer? No way. A sister is a sister, forever." Seeing her pretend to be angry, Yu Jin found it funny and adorable. If he leaned down now, silenced that self-righteous mouth of hers, and kissed her roughly for ten minutes, she probably wouldn't dare call herself his sister ever again. The thought sent his inner world into a frenzy. But his rational side told him he absolutely could not do it. Fan Li had never forgotten that man. In her heart, she truly saw herself as his "sister." If there ever came a day when she was no longer so devoted to the past... he would definitely make that fantasy a reality. And then he would tell her: *For all these years, I have been loving you as a man.* "Yes, yes, Sister Fan Li." For now, that was all he could say. *** After the Red Moon Princess’s birthday, Fan Li had completely severed her lingering hopes for Su Shiye. At the same time, she found another way to live that brought her happiness—she had obtained a pass from Su Shiye to enter the Temple of Memories. In her spare time, she would go to the Amber Dream and sit there for an entire afternoon. At first, it was quite painful. Every time she stayed there, her heart ached. But gradually, as she grew accustomed to switching rapidly between reality and the dream, she stopped feeling sad that the memories were just memories. The Amber Dream wasn't a one-time experience. As long as she was willing, she could stay there forever. There, her parents would never pass away. Su Shiye would always be the gentle brother, the doting lover. They could hold hands forever, playing in the town of Feili, wandering the streets of Luoya City, enjoying a youth that had no deadline or end. On the occasional quiet weekend, she would stay in the Amber Dream from morning until night. She even started bringing her newly bought books into the dream to read. The best part was that while she read, her most beautiful memories of reading would manifest before her—Su Shiye would be sitting right beside her, also holding a book, turning the pages at the same time she did. Every few pages, he would look up at her and smile. "Silly Li, don't look at me. Focus on your book." He looked no different from the real Su Shiye. The only drawback was that he couldn't be touched. So, she developed the habit of not touching him, so as not to break the atmosphere. Xia Mi had once tried to advise her after noticing she was spending far too much time in the Amber Dream. "Fan Li, I understand why you love the Amber Dream so much. Few who go there don't. But you won't learn anything there, you won't gain any experience, and you certainly won't have real social interactions. The more addicted you become, the more painful it is to quit the 'Amber Habit.' It’s no different from a drug. That’s why it used to be open to the public but now requires special permission. You should quit while you can..." "Don't worry, I just go there occasionally." Despite her words, Fan Li didn't listen at all. With such a beautiful place available, why would she ever want to quit? She was growing to like the Dark Sea more and more. Sometimes she even thought it wouldn't be so bad to live here for the rest of her life. The Light Sea was a world of cold reality, filled with endless schemes and power struggles. It had no Amber Dream, and no brother to keep her company every day. One day, several government officials from the Light Sea visited Baman Boya. After receiving notice from Aize, Fan Li went to the Endless Palace to receive them. But after the meeting ended, she saw Su Shiye and Ge Xi in the palace. "Your Majesty, when will you finally come stay at my place for a night..." Ge Xi was hanging off his neck, pouting with a hint of resentment. "Or, Nini and I could move into the Endless Palace. You’re being too much of a gentleman; it’s making us sisters very restless..." Since her talk with the High Overseer of the Citizenry, Ge Xi had abandoned her principle of not sharing a man. She and her friends were using every trick in the book to solidify their positions in his invisible harem. Unfortunately, the results were lackluster. "With two such beauties willing to live with me, I would be delighted, of course." Su Shiye smiled and brushed his fingers against her chin. "But give it a little more time. I’ve been busy with diplomatic affairs lately." "You can work, we won't disturb you! we promise to take good care of you every day, so you can relax to your heart's content..." "We’ll talk about this later." Su Shiye winked at her and kissed her forehead. "Tell Pesha whatever new clothes or jewelry you want. I have some things to attend to now..." He stopped mid-sentence as he spotted Fan Li nearby. His smile faded slightly. He looked back down at Ge Xi and said softly, "I’ll take you shopping today. Let’s go." Overjoyed, Ge Xi linked her arm with his and swam past Fan Li with a triumphant air. Su Shiye had expected Fan Li to greet them, but she was like a startled bird or a child waking from a nightmare. She shot them a quick, wide-eyed look, then buried her head and swam away hurriedly, her face pale. Su Shiye opened his mouth as if to call her, but he didn't. He simply smiled and turned back to ask Ge Xi what she wanted. He was past the age of youthful recklessness and seeking challenges. Once a man matures, he learns to save his tenderness for women who won't hurt him. However, after shopping with Ge Xi, Su Shiye wasn't in the mood to work. He subconsciously went to the Temple of Memories, only to find Fan Li inside the entrance to the Amber Dream. Fan Li was acting strange. She wasn't sentimental like her first visit; she was simply sitting in a corner, intently flipping through an academic book. If he hadn't seen her enter, Su Shiye would have thought she was a memory of her younger self. Su Shiye walked in. The "Little Fan Li" of the memory shrieked "Brother!" with joy and lunged toward him. He didn't spare the phantom a glance, walking straight to the real Fan Li. "Why are you reading here?" Fan Li looked at the phantom beside her, then at the man in front of her. Realizing this was the real one, she closed her book and stood up. "I was just wandering around, looking for some inspiration for potions." "Looking for inspiration in memories?" Su Shiye chuckled. "That’s certainly innovative." Compared to the phantom lover beside her, Su Shiye’s smile was cold. Thinking of his intimacy with Ge Xi, Fan Li remembered her resolve not to disturb him. Her tone turned cold as well. "Go spend time with your girlfriend. Don't worry about me." "I will spend time with her, of course." Su Shiye became even more blunt. "Speaking a few words to you won't affect my private life." "That’s good. Congratulations. I wish you both happiness." "Thank you. I hope you also find someone who makes you happy soon." At this, Su Shiye thought of Yu Jin and smiled again. "Actually, perhaps that person is already by your side. A romance with a younger man is quite trendy." At that moment, the memory of Xing Hai was looking down at her, his eyes full of love. "Li Li, as long as you’re by my side, I’m happy." She looked back at Xing Hai. In the Amber Dream, Xing Hai appeared solid while Su Shiye was semi-transparent. For a moment, she was confused and reflexively reached out to touch Xing Hai. Her hand passed through empty air. Two straight lines of tears burst from her eyes before she could even prepare herself. Her first reaction was that he hated seeing her cry, so she turned away clumsily to wipe them. But Su Shiye didn't give her time to compose herself. He shoved her against the wall, his anger rising. "What are you crying about now?" Fan Li didn't even dare to sob. She just covered her eyes with her hands and shook her head. In the short month she had been in the Dark Sea, she had cried more than she had in the past several centuries. "Since you drove me here, you’ve achieved your ideals, your career has soared, and you even married three husbands who doted on you. What do you have to cry about?" Fan Li kept shaking her head. "I’m sorry, I didn't mean to." "Aren't you and Moer Heqiao 'forever family' even after the divorce? Look how he protects you, as if he’s terrified I’ll hurt you. He risked his life to come down ten thousand meters just to plead for you. Even as a bystander, I was moved by his devotion. So, are you crying now because I mentioned Yu Jin? Because it interferes with your deep bond with Heqiao?" "I’m sorry, it’s all my fault." "This is how you trick them, isn't it? When men see you cry, they pity you, their hearts break for you, and in the end, you pick their bones clean." " I didn't... I really didn't..." "And now you’re using this trick on me. What do you want from me? Resources? Weapons? Technology? Just say it." "I don't want anything... I just wanted to do something for you, but I’ve handled everything so poorly..." Before she could finish, a shadow fell over her. Her words were cut off by Su Shiye’s lips. He had originally just wanted to stop her from saying such sanctimonious things, but very quickly, he lost control. He opened his mouth, forcing his tongue into hers. The moment their tongues touched, things became worse. Her mind buzzed; every nerve of reason snapped. Her wrists were pinned forcefully against the wall. With every second of shared breath and tangled tongues, her world rapidly collapsed. Midway through the kiss, Su Shiye stopped. He shook his head, telling himself not to be a fool again. "You want to do something for me? Fine. I’ll give you the chance. Be my mistress." Fan Li suddenly felt much more sober. So, Su Shiye didn't actually want her to stay away. He still wanted something from her. "Okay." She pressed her lips together and nodded with a smile. "If you don't reject me, I’m going to continue." She didn't speak, nor did she resist. And so, he picked her up, pressing her against the wall. With her legs wrapped around his waist, he began to kiss her earlobe, whispering, "A relationship for mating only, no feelings involved. Do you accept?" "Yes." "A non-monogamous relationship. Do you accept?" "Yes." "When I’m tired of you, I can leave at any time." "Yes." She placed her hands on his wrists and looked up at him, her eyes two vast oceans of sorrow. "I’m willing to do anything." And so, under the weight of desperate expectation, they possessed each other. The more they fell, the more the sorrow deepened, drowning in the life and death of the deep sea. Finally, the river of time froze into eternity. Even in the abyss ten thousand meters down, ten thousand miles of crimson flowers seemed to bloom in an instant. It felt as if the four hundred and forty-two years prior hadn't been lived at all. Only at this moment did the gates of life swing open again. The spiritual longing of a moment ago vanished, replaced by the overwhelming intensity of physical sensation. The large tears that fell again had nothing to do with emotion. Fan Li clung to Su Shiye’s neck, eyes closed as she endured wave after wave of high-frequency, extreme heartache, treasuring this hard-won happiness. "...Thank you." "Don't thank me. I just wanted to sleep with you. This has nothing to do with love," Su Shiye’s voice was flat and emotionless. At the same time, another Su Shiye—vivid, colorful, and clear—stood before her, looking at her tenderly with a slight smile: "Li Li, I love you." The lover of the past had stepped across the four-hundred-and-forty-two-year river of time to stand before her once more. The Su Shiye of that time had always been so poised, gentle, and polite, hiding a love that could burn the world beneath a calm exterior. That man was gone now. But she was grateful to fate for giving her a chance to make amends. Fan Li held him tight, her voice barely a whisper. "Thank you." *Thank you to the you of four hundred and forty-two years ago, for having loved me so madly.* *** ### Glossary Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation --- | --- | --- 邪能 | Fel energy | A dark, corruptive energy source used by the Abyssal/Dark Sea inhabitants. 奥术 | Arcane | A traditional magical energy source, often contrasted with Fel energy. 回忆神殿 | Temple of Memories | A location in the Dark Sea where past memories can be revisited. 琥珀梦境 | Amber Dream | A specific, immersive memory experience within the Temple of Memories. 死神降世 | Advent of the Reaper | A high-level Fel soul-consuming technique. 噬魂术 | Soul-consuming technique | A category of dark magic that targets the spirit. 巴曼薄亚 | Baman Boya | Likely a specific vessel, city, or region within the story's setting. 斐理镇 | Feili Town | A location from Fan Li and Su Shiye's past. 落亚市 | Luoya City | Another location from their past. 交尾 | Mating | A term used for physical intimacy, specifically in the context of sea-dwelling races.