After it was over, Fan Li’s legs were so weak she couldn't stand. She had intended to rest on the floor for a moment before getting up, but she accidentally drifted off to sleep. Forty minutes later, Su Shiye threw a waterproof pressure suit onto her, finally waking her. He didn't wait for her, however; he arranged a vessel to take her back to Bamanboya and left on his own.
Back at the apartment, Hege and Shasha were in the kitchen having a midnight snack and called Fan Li in. Her energy was almost entirely depleted, and she was famished, devouring two plates of fish.
"What happened to your hands..." Shasha leaned in, staring at Fan Li’s wrists.
Fan Li noticed that both her wrists were marked with long, five-fingered bruises where Su Shiye had gripped her. She didn't want to explain, nor did she want to lie, so she just kept her head down and ate, saying indistinctly, "It’s nothing. I’m not in danger, don’t worry."
Though they had agreed to be bed partners, Su Shiye did not contact her for an entire week after that.
For the first two days, she held onto a sliver of hope that he would ask for a second meeting. She checked her comm-link repeatedly, not even daring to place it too far away while she slept. Every time someone contacted her, she would answer with great excitement, but it was never him. She told herself he was likely too busy and that she shouldn't appear too desperate, lest she pressure him. She continued to convince herself to wait patiently.
However, from the third day onward, no matter what she did, she felt restless. At the same time, she had an ominous premonition that despair was fast approaching.
In truth, anyone with a modicum of sense could see that Su Shiye wasn't too busy; he simply wasn't that interested in her, or he had forgotten her entirely.
This was the first time Fan Li had ever been trapped in such a low-status relationship. The feeling of being toyed with and belittled lingered constantly. But whenever she thought about how Su Shiye must have felt when she pushed him into the Meteor Trench, she knew it must have been far worse than this. She used this thought to convince herself multiple times that this was a burden she deserved to bear. She repeatedly told herself: *Don't be so needy. You are in a non-exclusive physical relationship with him. Don't demand anything from him...*
Moreover, it was highly likely he was currently enjoying the pleasures of the flesh with other women.
The mere hypothesis made Fan Li feel as though her heart were breaking. She had overestimated her psychological tolerance for a non-exclusive relationship. She couldn't navigate multiple partners like Su Shiye, giving each only a tiny fraction of affection. For her, this side of things was nearing a collapse, yet she knew that to Su Shiye, their time in the Amber Dream was nothing more than a sweet little distraction.
In Su Shiye’s history of dalliances in the Light Sea, there must have been many girls just like her—clearly in love with him, yet not daring to ask for more. It was truly pathetic.
Finally, on the eighth day, Su Shiye’s executive secretary came to the lab to inform her that His Majesty wished to see her at 9:30 PM, and handed her an envelope.
Opening the envelope, she found the booking information for a hotel.
As she studied the address and room number, her heartbeat was so loud it hindered her ability to think. Seeing that she still had enough time, Fan Li immediately went out to buy a black, low-cut, form-fitting dress. She spent an hour and a half on her makeup at home, pairing it with jewelry he had given her in the past. Finally, she applied a bold red lipstick in front of the mirror and let down her tied-up hair. She almost didn't recognize the woman in the mirror.
She never knew she could look so seductive.
But she had always been professional. No matter what she did, she wanted to do it with the utmost seriousness. Even being Su Shiye’s mistress was the same—since this was the nature of their relationship, there was no need to be too dignified.
At 9:30 PM, Fan Li arrived at the hotel room door. She removed her helmet, using an arcane spell to resist the water pressure, and knocked softly twice.
"You're quite punctual. I was just about to call—" Su Shiye said breezily as he pulled the door open. But seeing the woman before him, he paused for a second before returning to his relaxed expression. "I was just about to call you, and here you are. The water pressure in the room has been adjusted. Come in."
"Has Your Majesty eaten? I saw a few popular restaurants on the way and thought about bringing something, but then I thought it was so late you must have eaten already, so I dismissed the idea..." Fan Li swam inside, closed the door, and set her things on the table. She knew, however, that his gaze had not left her for a single moment.
"If it's something you bought, I wouldn't mind eating a bit more," Su Shiye said.
Fan Li was nervous, but she summoned the courage to turn back and look him directly in the eyes. "Then... should I go buy some now?"
She really couldn't hold his gaze for even a second. In that one second, it felt as if a spark had been ignited throughout her body, and her breathing grew shallow. She tried her best to adjust her state of mind, but instinct and desire were terrifying things; they could manipulate a person into doing things outside the scope of the rational brain's commands.
Su Shiye swam over, brushed the hair away from her ear, and smiled. "Later."
"Mm."
"Babe, you look beautiful tonight."
His hand rested on the small of her back, and a tantalizing kiss trailed from between her brows down to just below her earlobe. Fan Li knew that "Babe" wasn't a term exclusive to any one woman for him. Yet, after being slightly stung by that fact, the urge to be possessed by him once again consumed her thoughts.
She breathed heavily, caught his hand, and kissed his fingertips. "Tonight, you're mine alone, right?"
Su Shiye was startled for a moment, then laughed. "Of course."
Love is dangerous.
Desire is insatiable.
Throughout the entire night of intimacy with Su Shiye, Fan Li emptied the air from her swim bladder. Otherwise, she feared it might have been shattered by the intensity.
Neither earthquakes nor tsunamis were this extreme.
She had never died before, but she felt that if a person could die several times over, it would be exactly like this night.
Afterward, Su Shiye sat up to get dressed. Fan Li sat up as well, hugging him from behind and whispering in his ear, "Your Majesty Su Shiye, are you going back to the Endless Palace now? Shall we go get something to eat?"
"It's too late, let's forget it." Su Shiye turned back, his eyes and brows full of lingering ambiguity. "Same time next week, here again, hm?"
"Alright." Fan Li’s attitude was submissive, her eyes empty as she leaned against the headboard.
"Then I'll be going first. I've paid for the room. Get some rest."
"Mm."
After Su Shiye left, Fan Li sat on the bed hugging her knees, quietly waiting for her body to return to a calm state. Then, she performed a deep self-reflection—she had overstepped just now. Although many sexual partners might grab a meal together, strictly speaking, it wasn't an obligation Su Shiye needed to fulfill. She shouldn't feel downcast over such a thing.
Two days later, Fan Li received a sharkskin scroll sent by Mise Xunyue.
She opened the scroll and scanned it casually, intending to guess which era or culture the script belonged to, but a miracle occurred—she could actually understand the content perfectly! Furthermore, the name of the signatory at the end left her stunned—Lord of the Endless Ocean.
The writer of this scroll was Deep Blue?!
By the time she reached the end, Fan Li understood everything.
Why she would fall into shock, why the duration of the shocks varied, why the "Holy Infant of the Sea of Fire" was hidden away, why so many people insisted she must have a child, why she used to get headaches when passing through the Emerald Mountains...
As it turned out, she wasn't without a surname. Her surname was Sui.
Thinking of everything in connection, she finally found her future direction in life. Nothing she was doing now was wrong.
Life continued as usual. Every weekend, Fan Li and Su Shiye would meet punctually at the same hotel to sleep together. But after every coupling, Su Shiye never lingered; he left so quickly it was as if he were an unfaithful man afraid of being caught by his wife.
However, this didn't affect Fan Li’s affection for him in the slightest.
The day after every tryst, she was completely unable to work. No matter what anyone said, her mind was filled only with Su Shiye. Just thinking of him made every inch of her skin tingle. She told herself this was just her microflora controlling her desire to mate and reproduce with strong genes, not what she personally liked. Her free will didn't want him; her spirit was noble... However, it was all just theoretical talk.
Consequently, after starting this relationship with Su Shiye, Fan Li didn't kick her "Amber addiction"; instead, the addiction grew stronger. She even found time to soak herself in it during workdays.
Sometimes, nearing midnight and feeling drowsy, she couldn't bear to leave, so she would curl up and fall asleep inside. And the most beautiful thing was that even before entering the land of dreams, she could see the young Shiye lying down in front of her, giving her a faint smile. After a nap, woken by the lights outside the temple, she would rub her eyes and still see Su Shiye sleeping right in front of her.
Although it had been stated from the start that it was a non-exclusive relationship, in reality, since that first coupling in the Amber Dream, Su Shiye hadn't seen any other girls. He had initiated a break with Gacy, citing a lack of time to accompany her. Gacy cried until she nearly fainted, promising him she would never make overstepping demands again, only begging him not to suddenly black her out when she hadn't done anything wrong.
"I am mating with another woman, and I will be neglecting you constantly," Su Shiye said bluntly.
"It doesn't matter, I can accept it. Didn't we always agree on that? If another girl can serve Your Majesty well, I'll be very happy."
Su Shiye could only drop the matter, letting Peisha give her a bank card to swipe infinitely until she had vented her resentment and was willing to leave him.
For the week following that, Su Shiye worked whenever he was awake, leaving himself no time for rest. But even so, while listening to Prime Minister Huangge’s reports, he would frequently zone out, his mind filled with Fan Li’s deep blue eyes and snow-white skin. And the moment he had two minutes of free time, he would want to call her.
He told himself not to be bewitched by her. It was all just her usual tricks. She acted this pitiable in front of every man. That was why Qiusha had lowered all his guards for her, leading to the massacre of his entire clan; why Gas Xitian had stubbornly taken her in and given her the position of Great Oracle even knowing she had a history with him; why Moore Heqiao had handed over the majority of his life's wealth for her to manage. And he himself...
He was the stupidest of all her men.
At least they were her ex-husbands or husband. What was he?
He would absolutely never take her seriously again. A woman like this was just for fun. As a bed partner, she was indeed excellent. Her face and figure were top-tier; as long as he didn't listen to her speak, he wouldn't feel heartache, only extreme physical pleasure.
His self-control was excellent; he saw her only once a week, engaging only in physical exchange and superficial flirting.
Fan Li felt that she was also satisfied with this arrangement. Su Shiye was much more tender than she had expected; he was very considerate of her feelings and gave her as much romance as a mistress deserved. As an adult, having such high-quality sex could be considered perfect.
No matter how one looked at it, Su Shiye didn't seem to be seeking revenge on her as Xitian had said. How wonderful it was to be reunited with him, how wonderful to come to the Abyssal Empire—it was much happier than being focused on politics and researching the arcane back in the Light Sea.
Most importantly, on the days she didn't see Su Shiye, she could live in the beautiful Amber Dream.
Why didn't the Light Sea have a place like this? She didn't want to go back to the Light Sea.
Perhaps because her spiritual world was so full, Fan Li began to lose weight at a visible rate.
She used to be just the right amount of thin, without a trace of excess fat, looking healthy yet somewhat pitiable. But recently, she had become exaggeratedly thin; her wrists and shoulders were skin and bones, looking like someone who had just recovered from a major illness. Furthermore, her mental state was strange; she was often lost in thought, couldn't eat, and seemed to have lost interest in everything in life.
But this state of being lost in thought would only last until she met Su Shiye. On the nights of their weekend trysts, she would become vibrant and sweet again.
Initially, Su Shiye squeezed her waist and said, "Babe, have you lost some weight lately?"
"It seems so," Fan Li said softly, leaning into his arms. "I'm on a diet. Isn't a thinner waist more attractive?"
"It's attractive. Sexy."
Two weeks later, he felt something was wrong—even the ribs on Fan Li’s chest were showing. He frowned and said, "Aren't you overdoing the weight loss? My hot babe is turning into a flatfish."
"No way, I'm a miracle woman whose cup size doesn't drop no matter how much I lose," Fan Li chuckled.
"Still dieting?"
"Yeah."
"Your aesthetic is getting a bit morbid. Stop losing weight. You'd look better if you gained a little."
"Your aesthetic is the weird one. Aren't girls more beautiful the thinner they are?"
"Who told you that? Men like women with a bit of meat on them."
"You alone don't represent all men," Fan Li shot him a look, her contrarian side emerging. "And even if you did represent all men, what does that have to do with me? I'm not losing weight for men; I'm doing it for myself."
Su Shiye sighed, touching her wrist, waist, and back. "Too thin, really too thin. Put on some weight."
"Shh, let's not talk about that." Fan Li buried her head in his chest, quietly feeling his body heat and the brief happiness of his embrace. In his arms, she always felt herself becoming infinitely small, every minute and second precious, as if they were stolen.
In truth, she wasn't intentionally dieting; she simply had no appetite. Every meal felt like drinking bitter medicine; as long as she could maintain basic energy, she didn't want to eat anymore. Later, whenever Su Shiye brought up the topic, she would say she was trying to gain weight, but the results just weren't visible yet.
Ujin also noticed something was wrong with Fan Li and contacted Feng Jin to tell her. Feng Jin called Fan Li, making up an excuse to see her via phantom projection. The moment she saw how thin Fan Li had become, Feng Jin’s heart twinged, but she kept her cool and didn't mention it, instead smilingly asking what she had been up to lately. Fan Li honestly confessed her relationship with Su Shiye, propping up her chin and saying she finally had a sex life.
And so, in the centuries she had known Feng Jin, Fan Li saw her fly into a rage for the first time.
"Sex life my ass!!" Feng Jin was so angry her lips trembled, her voice cracking. "Su Yi, do you think you're Xiao Lan, the kind of woman who can treat men like gigolos? Are you the kind of woman who can handle that?!"
"Why can't I handle it..." Fan Li was startled by her, but soon smiled again. "I'm very happy. Su Shiye’s technique is very good. Sleeping with him is my gain."
"Are you still talking like Randy Rose? Do I not know what kind of person you are? Deep down, you don't accept premarital sex at all, and now you're talking about being Su Shiye’s mistress? Can you separate sex and love? Are you someone who can purely enjoy physical pleasure while ignoring emotions? You're trying to out-play Su Shiye? Can you be more of a player than him?! You used to be such a clear-headed person, how can you be this stupid now!!"
"I... I don't know..." Fan Li covered her forehead. "Feng Jin, don't worry about me. I think things are fine as they are. After all these years, I'm a bit tired. As long as I can be with him, in whatever form, I can accept it..."
Feng Jin suddenly understood a little.
For all these years, Su Yi had carried the responsibilities invisibly thrust upon her by countless people, working hard for the lower-class merfolk of the Light Sea. For the sake of responsibility, she was willing to sacrifice everything, including her love. But now that she had completed her most important mission, the love for Su Shiye and the guilt toward him that had been suppressed in her heart grew vigorously overnight, consuming her entirely.
"...In whatever form?" Feng Jin felt very sad, but she calmed down significantly.
"Mm. I don't want to leave him." Fan Li looked at Feng Jin with a smile; even through the arcane phantom, her resolve was palpable. "I don't know how much longer I have to live, but no matter how long it is, I want to be selfish for once and keep the rest of my life for myself."
Feng Jin didn't catch the underlying meaning, only saying anxiously, "Even if you want to be selfish and indulge yourself in love, don't choose Su Shiye. Do you not know what kind of man he is? He has extremely strong principles; he'll always do what he promised, but if he says from the start he won't love a woman, he won't love her in the end either. Maintaining this kind of relationship with him is too damaging. Knowing him, the women around him will only increase, never decrease. With a man like Su Shiye, you can want anything from him except love. Wanting love leads to the same end as Carnation. Look at you, look how thin you've become..."
"It's fine, I'm not hurt. I still have the Amber Dream."
"So, you're sleeping with the real him while dating the him in your memories?"
"Mm, a bit schizophrenic, right..."
"Stop sleeping with him, okay?" Feng Jin looked worried. "Though I haven't experienced this myself, I've seen too many women who started out playing it cool with men, only to end up breaking themselves. If you really like him, just accompany him silently. Platonic love is love too. Can you do that?"
Fan Li smiled and nodded. "I'll try."
"No matter what method you use, get your weight back. Otherwise, Su Shiye will find out about your pregnancy from me."
"Don't. I get it, I'll gain weight..."
After hanging up, the more Feng Jin thought about it, the angrier and more heartbroken she became. She even wanted to call Su Shiye and give him a piece of her mind. But considering she and Su Shiye once had an engagement, as Fan Li’s best friend, it wasn't very appropriate for her to say too much to him. After brooding for a long time and organizing her thoughts, she contacted Ujin.
Soon after, Ujin went to the Endless Palace to find Su Shiye.
"I don't know what kind of fel energy spell you've put in the Amber Dream, but Sister Fan Li’s state is very wrong. It's like she has depression." Ujin didn't want to ask Su Shiye for help at all, but he really had no other options with Fan Li.
"The Amber Dream?" Su Shiye said in surprise.
"Yes, she spends more time inside now than outside. I heard that if you stay in the Amber Dream too long, the false illusions will adjust according to the visitor's needs. Is that true?"
"Yes. If you stay too long, it won't just be scenes from memory. The dream will transform into what you desire most in the depths of your heart."
"I was wondering why Sister Fan Li was so obsessed... how can there be such an evil place!"
"The essence of the Arcane is 'creation.' The essence of Fel is 'consumption.' Have you forgotten?"
"Then what should we do now?" Ujin said anxiously.
Su Shiye didn't reply but immediately went to the research institute to observe Fan Li.
Sure enough, she was listlessly observing bacteria, her movements at least twice as slow as before. She yawned from time to time and slept slumped over the table.
This was absolutely not the Fan Li he knew. The Fan Li he knew was more excited when doing academic research than most girls were when falling in love.
Su Shiye canceled all his schedules for the day and secretly followed Fan Li to the Amber Dream after she finished work.
Upon entering the Amber Dream, Fan Li’s exhaustion vanished, and her whole being lightened up. She took off her pressure suit, tidied her hair, stretched, and said pitiably, "I didn't brush my hair properly today. Am I not cute anymore?"
"Our Lili is super cute." The Su Shiye in the dream had become very intelligent. He simulated Su Shiye’s past personality based on her memories and gave an answer that fit his character.
"Really?" Fan Li cupped her face shyly. "I'm so happy."
Then, she took out books and a food container from her bag, sat cross-legged on the floor, and flipped through a book while eating. "Mm-hm, today I'm eating white shrimp from the hydrothermal vents. You don't know, if these shrimps aren't cleaned properly, I could be poisoned to death. But I checked them over and over."
The "Su Shiye" beside her also picked up a book and sat down next to her. " I'll study with you."
"What are you reading?" Fan Li leaned over and saw the *Economic Compendium of the Pure Light Sea* in his hand. "So serious! Today I'm reading the *Manual for Identification of Common Clinical Hydrothermal Bacteria*."
"Lili, you're very serious too. But take care of your health, don't overwork yourself." "Su Shiye" sighed and reached out to "stroke" her head.
She leaned a bit closer to him, closing her eyes as if she were truly enjoying a lover's touch. Even without the physical sensation, she smiled sweetly.
"...What on earth are you doing?" Su Shiye’s voice suddenly dropped low.
"Huh?" Fan Li sat up straighter and looked at the "Su Shiye" in front of her. He looked normal, still that gentle-as-water figure from the past.
"Get up."
It was still Su Shiye’s voice. But only then did she realize the direction of the sound was wrong. She looked up and saw a translucent figure standing amidst the night and the galaxy, letting out a low cry. Then, that person strode over, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her up from the floor. "I allowed you to enter the Amber Dream because I was certain you had good self-control and wouldn't get hopelessly lost here like others. And yet, what are you doing? You're more obsessed than anyone!"
Fan Li was startled out of her dream. The Dictator Su Shiye beside her vanished into thin air, and the Crimson Moon Emperor Su Shiye stood before her. Without a word, he forced the pressure suit and helmet onto her and dragged her toward the exit. "Get out."
Seeing the real world outside the temple, Fan Li felt an inexplicable terror. She shook her head violently, shrinking back. "No, no, I'm not going out..."
"You can't come here anymore. Come out with me."
"I won't!!" Fan Li ripped off the helmet, threw it outside the temple, and then hid in a corner, guarding against him with a fierce and powerful stance, like a female beast desperately protecting her young.
"You're not coming out?"
"That's right, I'm not! If you force me out, I'll never do research again. I'll just eat and wait to die every day!"
"Then I will attack the Light Sea."
"Go ahead and attack. I'll be dead anyway, why would I care if you attack the Light Sea?"
"...You don't care if I attack the Light Sea?" Su Shiye looked at her in astonishment, scanning her surroundings, trying to find any trace of the madness consuming her reason in her every move. "Fan Li, what kind of illusion are you seeing?"
"It's not an illusion. It's a person who truly exists."
"What do you want?"
"I want the right to stay in the Amber Dream permanently. If Your Majesty still wants me to do research for you, then give me this right."
Back when the Amber Dream had no entry restrictions, Su Shiye had seen many people controlled by the dream. Thus, he knew that no matter how hard he tried to persuade her now, she wouldn't listen. He could only say, "Fine. Then stay here. I'm leaving."
"Alright, thank you, Your Majesty!" Fan Li laughed happily and sat back down, opening her book. As her emotions relaxed, the illusions gathered by fel energy once again eroded her vision...
Three hours later, Fan Li yawned, leaned against the wall, and smiled at the person beside her. "I'm a bit sleepy. Will you sing to me..."
After a moment, she slowly slid to the floor, folding her hands under her face, going limp like a puddle of mud. "You're really so handsome. I love looking at you most. And this." She pointed to the tip of her nose. "Even this mole here, I find it so charming. Tell me, am I beyond saving?"
Others couldn't see what the illusion said or did. But clearly, the illusion gave an enticing answer, because Fan Li’s voice became even softer. "Brother, if only I could sleep with you like this every day, how wonderful it would be..."
Standing outside the temple gates of the Amber Dream, Su Shiye heard every word Fan Li said. His eyes suddenly widened, and his entire body froze.
***
