Once a group of walking corpses had been assembled at Mount Cuiwei, Fan Shaohuang was "exiled" by the old man. Carrying his own gear and accompanied by his Corpse Fiend, he set out to drive this line of bodies—people who had died far from home—back to their ancestral lands.
Though they had to cross mountain ridges to leave Mount Cuiwei, the task of corpse-driving could naturally only be performed at night. This was the green-eyed zombie’s first time on the job, and it found everything fascinating. Fan Shaohuang kept a very close eye on it, terrified it might find one of the "fresh and tender" corpses delicious and take a bite.
If a corpse was damaged during transit, the compensation fees were astronomical.
Fan Shaohuang naturally had a way to handle the creature. During the journey, he placed it at the head of the line. The corpse behind it rested its arms on the zombie's shoulders, and the rest followed suit, forming a chain that hopped forward in unison.
The green-eyed zombie found this incredibly difficult to get used to. To it, the speed of these walking corpses was no different from crawling. Meanwhile, the "fellow" behind it clearly didn't understand its frustration and suppressed rage, continuing to plod along at a snail's pace.
The paths used for corpse-driving were extremely remote. Traditionally, drivers intentionally chose treacherous mountain trails to avoid the living. They were no exception. Fan Shaohuang had been born and raised on Mount Cuiwei; he had walked these paths countless times since childhood and felt no sense of novelty.
The green-eyed zombie walked at the front of the line with a wind lantern and a soul-leading bell hanging from its neck, glancing left and right every so often. Fan Shaohuang strapped all their luggage onto the back of the very last corpse and followed at the rear.
The mountains were eerie and dark. When Fan Shaojing drove corpses, various mountain spirits and demons often came to steal them. When a human is first born, their essence forms first; once the essence is complete, the brain and marrow are generated. To these spirits, the marrow of a fresh corpse was a potent tonic. However, with Fan Shaohuang present, ordinary ghosts didn't dare plot against the caravan. If they fell into Fan Shaojing’s hands, they might at most receive some "re-education," but falling into Fan Shaohuang’s hands meant losing their supernatural lives.
Thus, although demonic energy flickered in the shadows and many were salivating, no monster actually made a move.
Fan Shaohuang continued the journey as if nothing were wrong, but the green-eyed zombie couldn't keep its cool—those demons and evil spirits were, in its eyes, also potent tonics...
The result of its impulsive hunger was a collective outrage from the local spirits. The monsters retaliated in a swarm, and Fan Shaohuang spent the entire night hunting demons across the mountains.
Monsters are clever creatures; seeing the Taoist occupied with hunting, they crept in to snatch the corpses. Fortunately, Fan Shaohuang’s demon-suppressing talismans were effective enough, otherwise, the old man would have made him kneel before the ancestral tablets until the day he died.
By the time they finally reached the mortuary at the foot of the mountain before dawn, Fan Shaohuang was exhausted. The mortuary was ancient, tended by an old man who looked like he had one foot in the grave. Fan Shaohuang led the corpse line into the inner room to rest, but he didn't dare let the green-eyed zombie stand guard.
One could only imagine: if he truly let this gluttonous zombie guard them, he might wake up in the evening, walk into the room, and find it empty. If he asked, "Where are the corpses?" the zombie would likely just burp, lick its lips, and reply, "Burp, they tasted pretty good."
...He would have to go back to kneeling before the ancestral tablets until death.
After Fan Shaohuang fell asleep, the green-eyed zombie had nothing to do. It returned to the small wooden shack just as dawn was breaking. Qiao'er hadn't woken up yet. It stealthily burrowed into the coffin and pulled her into its arms.
The shack had no windows, so sunlight rarely entered, but this was the first time the zombie had actually slept inside. When Qiao'er woke up, she gave a cheer and hugged its neck tightly.
It let her cling to it, humming proudly, and then reached out to scratch her belly (having seen Fan Zijun scratch a cat’s belly like that). Qiao'er giggled and swatted its hand away, then lay on its chest to chat. Now that she understood more of the Language of the Dead, the topics the human and the zombie could discuss had broadened.
She asked what it had eaten today, and it told her that cat demons tasted better than tree demons. It also told her that all the Corpse Fiends at Mount Cuiwei were ugly monsters, providing a particularly detailed description of the appearance of the Sect Leader’s Corpse Fiend...
When the day was fully bright, Qiao'er prepared to get up. The green-eyed zombie, naturally, stayed put. Qiao'er gathered a set of clean clothes for it to change into, made sure it was settled comfortably in the coffin, and covered it with the wooden boards before finally opening the shack's door.
She washed the zombie's old clothes and set about sewing a new set. Its clothes always wore out quickly and constantly needed mending.
Since it was a rare visit, after she ate, she closed the door and climbed back into the coffin to lie with it. It happily played with her.
When Fan Shaohuang woke up, it was still early. Out of habit, he first went to the mortuary room to check the corpses. The old man of the mortuary tremblingly prepared a meal. Fan Shaohuang was a bit of a germaphobe regarding food and always brought his own utensils; after all these years, the old man was used to it.
As he sat in the main hall eating, his Corpse Fiend returned. Its steps were light and it seemed to be in a great mood, looking as if it might start humming a tune at any moment.
Fan Shaohuang finished his meal with a dark expression. As dusk began to fall, he packed his gear, organized the corpse line, and prepared to set out.
The green-eyed zombie resumed its place at the head of the line, hopping forward with the other corpses in utter boredom. Ahead lay a river, and they needed to follow it downstream. The reeds along the riverbank were overgrown with weeds; the green-eyed zombie couldn't keep still and occasionally snatched a reed leaf to chew on.
The journey was unusually peaceful, with only the clear, tinkling sound of the water. Suddenly, Fan Shaohuang halted. The long sword on his back hummed low—a malevolent spirit was approaching.
At the front of the line, the green-eyed zombie also sensed the anomaly. It stopped and looked around warily.
Fan Shaohuang quickly led the corpse line to a safe spot and stood back-to-back with the green-eyed zombie. A thick scent of blood slowly approached, and the stars in the blue night sky suddenly dimmed. A strange sound echoed in the air, like the heavy flapping of a giant bird's wings.
Connected to it in mind and spirit, Fan Shaohuang saw the dark shadow approaching in the sky and took a moment to explain: "A Gui Che."
The green-eyed zombie asked a question that made him shut his mouth tight in frustration. It asked with a look of pure innocence, "A Gui Che? A carriage for ghosts?"
Fan Shaohuang had to restrain himself several times to keep from slaying this idiot with his sword before the enemy even arrived.
The shape of the giant bird gradually became clear. It circled in the air for a while, and a few drops of liquid fell from the sky. Fortunately, the green-eyed zombie was sensitive to blood; otherwise, it would have surely thought it was the giant bird's droppings.
It looked up curiously. The giant bird actually had many heads, but it had one extra neck—the one dripping blood was a headless bird neck.
Fan Shaohuang’s expression turned solemn. He wasn't afraid of facing this beast, but the creature could fly. As he was lost in thought, his back suddenly felt empty. His Corpse Fiend’s figure blurred and vanished.
This time Fan Shaohuang wasn't relaxed; he felt suspicious: *Did this brat run away again?!*
Fortunately, the green-eyed zombie proved its worth this time. In an instant, it appeared before the giant bird, leaving several afterimages in the air.
Fan Shaohuang remained behind to protect his corpses... er, the corpses in the line. While the green-eyed zombie fought the giant bird, he used the "Drawing a Cell on the Ground" technique to create a protective circle around the corpse line. The giant bird had many heads and many beaks; while he was drawing the circle, it used three heads to deal with the green-eyed zombie while the remaining six mouths lunged down to peck at the corpses Fan Shaohuang was escorting.
It was clearly starving. Normally, it wouldn't risk its life against an opponent of the green-eyed zombie’s caliber for a bit of food. The green-eyed zombie grabbed three of the bird's necks. Fan Shaohuang finished placing the demon-suppressing talismans and pulled a fire-starter from his robe. With a soft *click*, the fire-starter was lit, and a glow began to rise.
The green-eyed zombie wasn't afraid of this small light; it only feared the sun. However, the aggressive monster bird let out a shriek and struggled violently to break free from the zombie's grip. With a flap of its wings, it fled into the distance.
The green-eyed zombie considered giving chase but decided the bird had too little meat and too many feathers to be worth the effort. While it hesitated, Fan Shaohuang had already reorganized the corpse line. It obediently went to the front. Looking at the "fellow" behind it who seemed quite fresh and delicious, it knew it couldn't eat him, but it still reached out to pat the fellow’s head.
Fan Shaohuang gave a warning cough. It immediately withdrew its hand, turned around with a serious expression, and continued leading the corpse line slowly forward.
Fan Shaohuang didn't stay idle either. As they walked, he told it about the nine-headed, ten-necked monster bird: "That was the Gui Che. Legend says it plagued the mortal world until the Celestial Howling Dog bit off one of its heads. Since then, it has had ten necks and nine heads..."
Legends are always about punishing evil and promoting good—very beautiful stories. But humans aren't very familiar with the realms of gods and demons; they can only listen to whatever people say.
The green-eyed zombie believed that legend for a long time, until it later heard the truth from a minor zombie. The "Comrade Gui Che" was originally a divine bird. One day, it was napping outside the Southern Heaven Gate. The celestial official on patrol at the time was Erlang Shen. He enjoyed a few drinks, and as the saying goes, "like master, like dog"—the Celestial Howling Dog also enjoyed a few drinks.
But the dog didn't have its master’s tolerance. After a few bowls, it got drunk. As you know, when drinking, having a few duck necks as a snack makes the experience much better. Unfortunately, the dog wandered around and couldn't find any duck necks, but it did discover the napping Gui Che. And so... = =!
From then on, the Gui Che’s personality changed drastically, falling from a divine bird to a bird monster. Thinking about it carefully, it really was a stroke of terrible luck that lasted eight lifetimes...
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