Chen Family Village was a small place, yet it was a necessary pass on this corpse-driving route. By the time Fan Shaohuang reached the mortuary, several men dressed as local gentry were already waiting. The green-eyed zombie followed behind Fan Shaohuang; the men didn't seem to shun these walking corpses, immediately entreating Fan Shaohuang to visit their estates, claiming they had a "big business" deal to discuss.
Fan Shaohuang seemed to have frequent dealings with them. He halted the corpse procession and prepared to head out.
The Cuiwei Mountain Sect placed extreme importance on Daoist conduct and maintained strict discipline over its disciples, but Fan Shaohuang was an anomaly. His personality was the polar opposite of Fan Shaojing’s; he had a particular fondness for gold and silver. On ordinary days, unscrupulous characters often sought him out in private.
Whether it was driving a virtuous woman to suicide or incurring a debt of vengeful karma that needed cleaning up, or perhaps defying heaven to alter fate in hopes of extending one's wealth and longevity—these were all things considered by the Daoist orthodox to diminish one's own blessings and shorten one's life. Yet, as long as the payment was sufficient, this man would do them all.
Many people had use for him, and combined with the fact that his skills were indeed beyond even Fan Shaojing’s reach, his reputation among the common folk was naturally and extraordinarily high.
This "big business" they spoke of was undoubtedly another scheme targeting someone’s family treasure.
The green-eyed zombie did not follow. Fan Shaohuang ordered it to guard the corpse procession, giving it a particularly stern glare before leaving, signaling that it was not allowed to "guard the granary and steal the grain"—it wasn't to help itself to the cargo!
It sat before the corpse procession for a while. However, once Fan Shaohuang left, the mortuary became so quiet that one could hear a pin drop, save for the old man watching the grounds. The "brothers" standing before it began to look increasingly fresh and delicious!
It patted each corpse on the head and tapped them one by one as if selecting watermelons. Finally, it managed to recall a bit of proper business and diverted its attention elsewhere.
That unlucky Ghost Chariot was currently foraging for food. It enjoyed consuming the brains and essences of humans or animals, and occasionally ate carrion. It was essentially an omnivore and shouldn't have been starving to this degree, but it was extremely photophobic; even a flicker of light would send it fleeing in a panic.
Consequently, its search for food was exceptionally difficult. With the sky not yet bright, it was circling about, looking for a meal, when a dark shadow suddenly appeared beside it, almost as if by teleportation.
The bird was startled out of its wits, its feathers standing on end as it shrieked, "Who is it?!"
This monstrous bird was a veteran of the world; after all, it had once been a divine beast and understood human speech. After falling to the status of a bird monster, it had followed local customs and learned a bit of *Tianwen*—the script of the dead. Seeing that the newcomer was a zombie, it immediately asked again in *Tianwen*: "Who is it?!"
From this, one could see that mastering an additional foreign language was beneficial to humans, gods, and demons alike.
The green-eyed zombie had a plan. It was away for long periods, and since this bird understood human speech, catching it to keep Qiao'er company wouldn't be bad. With nine heads and nine mouths, it could certainly relieve her boredom. The small wooden hut was far from the town, and Qiao'er had to walk for a long time; having a mount would be quite nice. This bird was truly a multi-purpose creature...
Thus, it didn't bother answering. It simply lunged forward and engaged the Ghost Chariot in combat.
Though the Ghost Chariot was a bird monster, it had once been a divine beast and usually maintained a certain level of grace. Seeing this zombie act so shamelessly—striking without a word—it was so enraged that all nine heads began swearing in unison.
The Ghost Chariot was no match for it. After a brief struggle in the air, the zombie finally seized its neck and yanked it violently to the ground. Once they hit the dirt, the green-eyed zombie pinned the Ghost Chariot down firmly. The bird's talons were stuck in the mud and useless, its wings flapped against the zombie like a mere tickle, and its nine heads pecked desperately at the zombie weighing it down.
The green-eyed zombie already possessed a body of bronze skin and iron bones; it didn't fear the bird's beaks. After pecking for a long time, the Ghost Chariot finally grew tired. "What the hell do you want?!"
The green-eyed zombie didn't understand. Eight of the bird's mouths continued to curse while the remaining one asked again in *Tianwen*. Finally, the green-eyed zombie explained its intent. Upon hearing it, the Ghost Chariot became even more incensed and struggled frantically. This time, all nine heads and nine mouths worked in perfect coordination to peck at once!
Its strength was by no means small. Against an ordinary person, nine beaks would have been enough to shred them in an instant, but it had the misfortune of encountering this "green-eyed bronze pea." The green-eyed zombie wasn't in a hurry. It lay on the bird's back for a while, finding the feathers quite pleasant to the touch—warm and soft—and the "handrails" were sturdy. Only then did it state its conditions.
Its terms were very blunt: Agree, or be plucked!
It clung tightly to the Ghost Chariot's back and yanked out a tuft of feathers. The Ghost Chariot shrieked, its nine heads and eighteen eyes glaring with fury as it broke into another round of cursing...
What do feathers mean to a bird? To use an analogy, if the thing humans find most unacceptable is running around naked, then the thing a bird finds most unacceptable is being bald.
To the bird, feathers were life, feathers were dignity. Everything else was a passing cloud, but feathers were as heavy as Mount Tai.
Seeing that its feathers were about to be lost, the Ghost Chariot shrieked several times and finally agreed to the request. What made it even more furious was that this zombie wasn't catching a mount for itself—its future master was a "two-hundred-and-fifty" mortal who knew absolutely nothing...
By then, Qiao'er was already asleep. The green-eyed zombie returned riding the Ghost Chariot. The bird's true form was over three meters wide, enough for three or four green-eyed zombies to lie side-by-side on its back, but now it had shrunk to the size of a fat goose. Its scarlet feathers shimmered with light, giving it quite the air of a divine bird.
What terrified Qiao'er even more was that as soon as she woke, she saw a monster before her—entirely red with nine heads. Eighteen eyes squinted at her from every direction—front, back, left, right, southeast, northwest—with one head and two eyes left over just to glare at her.
Fortunately, her reaction time was slow; otherwise, a "coffin-wetting incident" would have been hard to avoid.
The green-eyed zombie helped her up with great delight. As soon as she saw its green pupils, her heart settled, and even her fear vanished. The green-eyed zombie forced the Ghost Chariot to enter a contract with Qiao'er. Initially, the Ghost Chariot had harbored a glimmer of hope—in contracts between demonic beasts, if the master's power is not stronger than the beast's, there is a constant risk of backlash.
But then it began to curse again—the zombie wasn't using a demonic contract at all, but an authentic Daoist restriction. If the master died, the bound creature would perish along with them.
If Fan Shaohuang had been there, he would have been shocked—this was the very restriction used by Cuiwei Mountain when refining corpse fiends.
The Ghost Chariot was hopping mad and swearing. It was as if a Japanese person had signed a Chinese contract, only to realize after signing that the damn thing was a deed of lifelong servitude.
The mount had been delivered, and dawn was approaching. Before rushing back to the mortuary, the green-eyed zombie didn't forget to point at the Ghost Chariot and instruct Qiao'er: "If it doesn't listen, pluck its feathers!"
The Ghost Chariot's eighteen eyes bulged as it broke into another round of cursing...
Back at the mortuary, Fan Shaohuang had not yet returned. The morgue saw no sunlight year-round and was filled with the aura of corpses. The zombie slipped back inside and resumed its seat before the procession!
It wasn't until the following evening that Fan Shaohuang finally returned. His face was still grim, and his satchel hung heavy with some unknown object.
The green-eyed zombie drove the corpse procession out of the mortuary. Suddenly, its vision blurred—the "brother" who always walked in the lead was missing his right ear!!
The green-eyed zombie nonchalantly pulled the man's hat down a bit lower. It was also utterly perplexed: How could an ear be missing...
It didn't know that while there were formations in this world to guard against demons and ghosts, there was not yet a single array that could guard against rats. Furthermore, a mortuary couldn't keep cats, so...
Fortunately, there were rat traps; otherwise, more than just an ear would have been gnawed off!
Fan Shaohuang was incredibly cautious and discovered it before long. Then, he nearly fainted from rage: "Dammit, how could an ear be missing?!"
As a result, the zombie spent another night kneeling before the ancestral tablets.
Fan Shaohuang, the second disciple of Cuiwei Mountain, was driving a corpse fiend and a procession when a corpse's ear was gnawed off by a rat... Fan Shaohuang's reputation was dragged through the mud, and for a time, he became the laughingstock of the corpse-driving world.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 陈家村 | Chen Family Village | A small village on the corpse-driving route. |
| 殄文 | Tianwen | The script of the dead or ghostly script used by spirits and monsters. |
| 卖身契 | Deed of lifelong servitude | Literally a "body-selling contract," an indenture or slave contract. |
| 祖师牌位 | Ancestral tablets | Tablets representing the founders or ancestors of a sect, used for worship or punishment. |
