On this day, a messenger from the Yanchun Brothel came seeking Fan Shaohuang. Naturally, they sought him for a matter that could not see the light of day. Fan Shaohuang did not care what the task was; as long as they could pay, that was all that mattered. The people of Yanchun Brothel were quite generous. Upon seeing the deposit, Fan Shaohuang gathered his tools and led the Green-eyed Zombie out of Guantian Court, heading straight for the brothel.
The matter itself wasn't particularly grand. A top-tier courtesan named Qingge had died mysteriously during a miscarriage. The trouble was that she had died on a Triple Malice Day while pregnant, which caused her to return as a vengeful wraith.
Fan Shaohuang didn't announce his arrival. When he entered, the girls thought he was just another patron. Though he wore Taoist robes, he possessed striking features—brows like swords and eyes like stars—and an extraordinary aura. The blue-and-black Taoist attire accentuated his tall, lean frame. His three-layered robes and the silk sash at his waist were meticulously arranged, neat and beyond reproach. With a long sword slung across his back, he exuded an air of heroic gallantry.
The girls were used to frivolous, wealthy playboys. The sudden appearance of a man from a Taoist sect, radiating an aura of asceticism, made their eyes light up. They rushed forward to solicit him, and before anyone could even get close, someone was already offering a discount.
As the scent of powder and rouge grew heavy, Fan Shaohuang frowned slightly. His gaze sharpened, a cold intensity that forced the beauties to halt in their tracks. The Madam, however, was extremely sharp-eyed. She immediately came forward with a face full of smiles and welcomed him inside.
They entered the room where Qingge had lived. As a businesswoman, the Madam knew that the Yanchun Brothel’s success drew envy from competitors who were always looking for trouble. She was terrified that an exorcism would cause a scene and ruin her reputation. Catching a ghost was simple enough, but doing it without making a sound required someone of Fan Shaohuang's caliber. It was out of sheer necessity that she had spent a fortune to hire him.
Having taken the money, he would resolve the disaster. Fan Shaohuang said nothing more and followed her into the room.
The Green-eyed Zombie, who had followed him in, was left dazed. When the Madam led Fan Shaohuang away, the flock of "warbling orioles and swallows" felt it was a pity. But when they saw this robust, powerful, and imposing man standing there, their eyes lit up again, and they swarmed him.
The zombie couldn't speak. It was instantly submerged in a sea of rouge and powder. Within a single round of attention, it had been led away to the room of a beauty named Yang Mei’er.
Yang Mei’er was a seasoned professional; she coiled around him like a beautiful serpent. Curious, the Green-eyed Zombie reached out and touched her. Her skin felt smooth and warm to the touch. Seeing it take the initiative, Yang Mei’er became even more uninhibited. Within moments, her hands were wandering over its chest, and she skillfully began to undo its clothes.
The skin she touched felt cold and hard, which struck her as slightly odd. However, she had been at the Yanchun Brothel for a long time and had seen many strange patrons, so she didn't think much of it. Her slender hand traveled downward, grasping that "source of all human evil." She felt quite satisfied—the size and firmness indicated that this was top-quality "equipment."
Of course, at that moment, she had no idea that this seemingly magnificent object was actually just a decorative accessory...
The Green-eyed Zombie didn't react. It simply let her hold it, wondering to itself: *So, this is how humans like to play? Hmm, I should try this with Qiao’er when I get back.*
Meanwhile, as the Madam and Fan Shaohuang stepped into the room, she whispered anxiously, "Daoist Fan, you mustn't make any noise that others might hear. It’s best if you don't even light incense; the smell might arouse suspicion. Several of my competitors have been watching me lately..."
Fan Shaohuang ignored her. To her shock, the moment they stepped into the room, the environment changed abruptly. The ornate, beautiful chamber they had just seen upon opening the door vanished. In an instant, they were standing before a majestic green mountain. A small path wound through the hills, surrounded by wild, overgrown grass that seemed to stretch on forever. Before them, a peach tree was in full bloom, its blossoms falling in a vibrant, chaotic shower.
The Madam’s mouth fell open. She felt this scene was incredibly familiar. It took her a long moment to realize—this was exactly the "Peach Blossom Landscape" depicted on the folding screen in the room. "Daoist Fan, this... this is..."
Fan Shaohuang didn't speak. He drew the long sword from his back. With his left index finger, he traced a pattern in the air, and a Taoist talisman manifested out of nothing. Golden light illuminated the meadow, quickly forcing Qingge to reveal her form.
In the time it took for a third of an incense stick to burn, Fan Shaohuang had already slain Qingge’s soul beneath his Shadow-Severing Sword. The Madam felt her vision blur, and suddenly, she was back looking at the red silk curtains and the pink bed. The screen was still in its place, the peach blossoms on it as brilliant as ever. Everything that had just happened felt like a fleeting illusion.
While she was still reeling in shock, Fan Shaohuang had already sheathed his sword. He extended his hand, his meaning clear—he wanted the remaining half of his payment.
The Madam now revered him as a god and dared not hesitate, immediately handing over the banknotes. Fan Shaohuang didn't linger; he took the money and left. There were many inquisitive gazes outside, but because there had been no noise, his competitors could find no fault.
As he was about to leave, Fan Shaohuang finally remembered his corpse-fiend. He kicked open three doors in a row before finally finding the Green-eyed Zombie. It was sitting on a pear-wood stool, its clothes disheveled but its face full of innocence. Yang Mei’er was crouching before it.
Fan Shaohuang nearly fainted from exasperation.
***
Back at Guantian Court.
When classes resumed, the Red-eyed Zombie brought a large group of lobster demons up with it. Qiao’er and the Hao family Taoists were suspicious, but the lobsters were remarkably honest: "We lost everything at Rock-Paper-Scissors. We’re here to work off our debts."
...
And so, a group of small lobster demons joined the ranks of the Guantian Court "puppet army." These lobsters looked up to the Red-eyed Zombie as their leader, unanimously calling it "Boss." Eventually, the Red-eyed Zombie felt this was inappropriate and hurriedly told them to call it "Number Two" instead—the "Boss" was the Green-eyed Zombie.
However, whenever the young Taoists heard "My Number Two did this" or "My Number Two did that" echoing through the court, they found the phrasing... rather delicate.
The lobster squad continued to grow. Many lobsters had lost so badly they were desperate, and when it comes to gambling, desperation only leads to a desire to win back one's losses. Eventually, even the lobsters' cousins, the crabs, felt the injustice and joined the gambling matches. Consequently, many crab spirits also appeared in the Guantian Court lineup.
Such is the nature of gambling: you think you can win it all back, but in reality, you only end up bankrupt and selling yourself into service.
The addition of these shrimp and crab demons made Guantian Court’s income even more substantial. They loved to scavenge for coral, pearls, or treasures lost in shipwrecks on the seabed. Thus, while Guantian Court appeared ordinary on the surface, it secretly housed countless rare and precious treasures.
Over these few days, Qiao’er’s mastery of techniques grew rapidly. However, she faced a major problem—her cultivation was extremely shallow, and her internal spiritual power was insufficient. As a result, even though she knew some techniques and mental mantras by heart, she was ultimately unable to manifest them.
In the evening, after finishing the lessons for the small demons, the Ghost Carriage went out to forage, and the Hao family Taoists retired for the night. Qiao’er was left alone in the small wooden hut reading a book, waiting for the Green-eyed Zombie to return. A single lamp burned in the hut, casting her long shadow against the wooden wall.
The Green-eyed Zombie chose this moment to sneak in. It gently blew air behind Qiao’er’s ear. Qiao’er suppressed a smile and pretended to ignore it. It then swept her up by the waist and spun her around the room, making her cling to its neck and giggle uncontrollably.
After a moment, it leaned down and placed Qiao’er in the coffin, telling her with great excitement, "I learned a new game today!"
Qiao’er also wrote excitedly on its chest: "Oh? What game?"
A short while later, a sharp cry rang out from the wooden hut. Many zombies discovered that their Boss had been kicked out of the burial mound. It was kneeling at the entrance of the hut with its clothes in disarray, a look of pure confusion on its face. Its knees were resting on Qiao’er’s washboard, and it was balancing a bowl of water on its head...
The Red-eyed Zombie felt that perhaps its shrimp and crab subordinates should start calling it "Number Three." After all, "Number Two" was currently busy kneeling over there...
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 宴春楼 | Yanchun Brothel | Lit. "Spring Banquet Pavilion." |
| 三煞日 | Triple Malice Day | An inauspicious day in Chinese astrology/geomancy. |
| 清歌 | Qingge | Name of the courtesan ghost; lit. "Clear Song." |
| 杨媚儿 | Yang Mei’er | Name of a courtesan; "Mei" implies charm/seductiveness. |
| 万恶之源 | Source of all evil | A humorous euphemism for male genitalia. |
| 断影剑 | Shadow-Severing Sword | Fan Shaohuang's weapon. |
| 老二 | Number Two | Lit. "Old Second." Also a common Chinese slang term for "penis," hence the awkwardness of the young Taoists. |
| 搓衣板 | Washboard | A traditional Chinese tool for washing clothes, often used as a prop for punishing husbands (making them kneel on it). |
