The Green-eyed Zombie was escorted before the Heavenly Emperor by the Thirty-Six Heavenly Generals. Unable to rest easy, Qiao’er followed them. Guanyin, being the sort of Bodhisattva who never missed a chance to witness a commotion, naturally went along to enjoy the spectacle as well.
This was the Green-eyed Zombie’s first time in the God Realm. Its mind was indeed in a state of chaos, and it looked upon everything with wide-eyed wonder. The Heavenly Generals had originally intended to keep it bound, but its cultivation was now so high that it had snapped several sturdy Immortal-Binding Ropes. Eventually, the generals gave up on restraining it—after all, those ropes were purchased from Taishang Laojun of the Ninety-Ninth Heaven, and they were quite expensive!
Inside the Hall of Divine Mist, every immortal lord and divine general who could squeeze in had done so. Since Pangu first separated heaven and earth, gods had died, fallen into slumber, or even descended into depravity, but when had anyone ever seen one go mad?
The Green-eyed Zombie peered left and right within the divine hall, looking exceptionally curious. The gods decided to stand their ground, craning their necks to see what a "mad" god-level being would actually do. The zombie scanned the assembled deities one by one, and then... it suddenly lunged forward and flipped up the skirt of the Goddess Chang’e. Before the gods could even react, it turned and bolted.
The gods were frozen like statues.
Chang’e, panicked and flustered, hurriedly pressed her skirt down and stamped her foot in indignation. "You rogue!"
The Heavenly Emperor looked at Chang’e’s skirt, then at the Green-eyed Zombie being hauled back by the heavenly soldiers. After a long silence, he muttered, "Is this fellow faking his madness?"
Even as he spoke, another commotion broke out. It seemed the Green-eyed Zombie had taken a fancy to the Jade Pagoda held by the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King and was currently trying to snatch it. The gods stood by and watched as it successfully seized the King’s pagoda, only to decide a moment later that the pipa held by Mo Lihai, the Heavenly King of the East, looked better. It tossed the Jade Pagoda aside and lunged for the pipa.
The only measure the gods took was to quickly hide anything on their persons that might pique its interest. However, the Green-eyed Zombie did not come for them. Instead, it sat in the middle of the hall and began to pluck the pipa. The hall instantly erupted into a cacophony of complaints: "Demonic discord! My ears are bleeding!"
It was simply too rowdy. Even though the gods were inclined to be entertained, they couldn't bear to keep it around. The Heavenly Emperor covered his ears and barked an order: "Deal with it immediately!"
The gods all plucked bits of cloud to plug their ears, shouting, "Kill it! Kill it!"
The Emperor uncovered his ears to hear what suggestions the immortal lords had, only to fly into a rage again. "First, take back that pipa!"
In the end, following Guanyin’s suggestion, the Heavenly Emperor decided to send the mad zombie back to Guantian Garden to be kept there. He strictly instructed Qiao’er, "I shall send a deity every three days to inspect it. You must look after it well. If it regains its sanity, you must report to the Heavens immediately." He finished speaking with great haste, waving his hand as if discarding trash. "Take it away! Take it away at once!"
Qiao’er brought the Green-eyed Zombie back to Guantian Garden. As dawn approached, Fan Shaohuang squinted at her for a long time before asking, "Where is my senior brother?"
Qiao’er slapped her forehead—she had been so preoccupied with the Green-eyed Zombie that she had left Daoist Fan Shaojing back at the edge of the Demon Path!
She locked the Green-eyed Zombie in the small log cabin. Still feeling uneasy, she asked the Daoist of the Hao family to keep an eye on it before hurriedly riding the Ghost Carriage back to the Demon Path.
By the time she arrived, the sun was fully up. The Ghost Carriage was a day-blind bird and could see nothing in the light. Fortunately, Qiao’er had a solution—she gripped its headless neck like a control stick, directing it forward, backward, left, and right. After a journey of minor scares but no real danger, they finally arrived.
Fan Shaojing was still lying where she had left him. His soul-consciousness was fighting the zombie poison in his body, and he had yet to wake. Qiao’er had just breathed a sigh of relief when she took a closer look and began to groan. A snake was desperately trying to shrink its body to crawl into his mouth, hoping to use his reincarnated divine body for its own cultivation. Luckily, the snake was far too fat; despite its efforts to contract, it hadn't gotten any smaller.
Following Qiao’er’s directions, the Ghost Carriage pecked the snake away and then picked up Fan Shaojing in its beak, returning to Guantian Garden the way they came. By the time they were back, the day was drawing to a close. Qiao’er placed Fan Shaojing before the formation. Fan Shaohuang glanced at his complexion and said, "He has been infected by zombie poison. Whatever attacked him was at least at the level of a Ba."
Seeing that Fan Shaojing could hold on for a while longer, Qiao’er was in no hurry. "Daoist Fan Shaohuang, Daoist Fan Shaojing is about to turn into a zombie himself. He, too, will be tainted by the turbid miasma of the undead."
Fan Shaohuang finally understood her ultimate goal. Qiao’er spoke plainly: "At first, I begged you to cleanse the turbid miasma from the Hou, and you told me there was no way. Now that Daoist Fan Shaojing is also tainted, surely there must be a way now?"
Fan Shaohuang looked at the man on the ground and couldn't help but sigh. "I have told you many times, the Drought Demon was a Heavenly Maiden. If this miasma could be cleansed or purified, why would her story have ended as it did? Though I was not close to her, we were... we were acquaintances for all those years. If there were any other choice, why would I have needed to reincarnate just to destroy her? Please, be reasonable."
Qiao’er shook her head stubbornly. "There must be a way. I don't believe this miasma is truly something the Three Realms cannot handle."
Fan Shaohuang, who had remained calm until now, finally showed a hint of anxiety. "I have no reason to lie to you, do I? Save my senior brother first, and I will tell you who might be able to purify this miasma."
Helplessly, Qiao’er refused to believe him. "I don't care. If you don't tell me the method to purify the miasma, I will leave Daoist Fan Shaojing right here. I'll let you watch him die from the poison day by day until he turns into a zombie."
"You... why must you push me to this point?" Fan Shaohuang sighed softly. He clearly hadn't expected this girl to be capable of such shamelessness. But Qiao’er had already turned and walked away.
Inside the log cabin, the Green-eyed Zombie was causing a massive ruckus. When Qiao’er entered, Daoist Hao Ren was nursing a headache. The Green-eyed Zombie had a basin stuck on its own head and was pinning Hao Ren down, forcing him to use a brush to paint its eyebrows. After finishing the eyebrows, it dipped the brush in ink to paint the Daoist's lips. Hao Ren couldn't restrain it and was breaking out in a cold sweat, nearly shouting for help.
Qiao’er rushed forward to rescue Daoist Hao from its clutches. It looked at Qiao’er with a suspicious expression. Qiao’er barked at it with a cold face, "What are you looking at? Put that brush down this instant!"
It immediately shoved the brush into Hao Ren’s nostril. Seeing its own hands covered in ink, it quickly hid them behind its back, rolling its eyes with an air of feigned innocence. Having suffered this undeserved calamity, Hao Ren didn't dare stay a moment longer; he scrambled to his feet and bolted.
Resigned, Qiao’er fetched some water. "Come here and wash your hands."
Qiao’er used the basin that had been on its head to hold the water and helped it wash. It sat obediently on the stool, the patterns in its jade-green eyes shifting with varying depths, like the swirling currents of ancient ages.
Qiao’er leaned down and pressed her forehead against its own. The formula Guanyin had used to seal the heart’s apertures was one she had provided. This formula contained the principles of the Qimen Dunjia, trapping a person’s soul-consciousness within the apertures of the heart. The human heart is a labyrinth; if one is trapped within without a guide, it takes a long time to find the way out.
However, because the gap in cultivation between her and the Green-eyed Zombie was too vast, she had entrusted the task to Guanyin. Guanyin was usually frivolous, but this time he had done exactly as she asked.
She lightly touched its flowing silver hair. Out of habit, the Green-eyed Zombie nuzzled against her. She pulled it into a tight embrace. "I don't know how long this formula can trap you, but if your consciousness is confined, the influence of the miasma will surely be slowed. Don't worry, just give me some time. In this world, where there is a poison, there must be an antidote. I don't believe this miasma is truly incurable."
The Green-eyed Zombie simply grinned at her, revealing two fangs as it gently grazed her lips. Qiao’er’s face flushed red. As she pushed it away, she felt a flicker of doubt. "You aren't actually faking this madness, are you?"
***
Tusu had indeed been taken to the Hall of Sutras. Now that the Buddha had a high-priority target for conversion, the various Bodhisattvas were delighted and promptly went off on various "official" travels. The Buddha, however, was more interested in the "mad" Green-eyed Zombie. "Are you certain the Drought Demon’s miasma has already begun to affect it?"
Guanyin’s reply to his master was quite respectful. "Yes. That little dragon’s formula for mending the corpse accelerated the fusion of its blood with the Drought Demon’s, and the miasma was catalyzed along with it. It entered the service of that King of Hell perhaps solely to use him as a way to test the strength of the God Realm. On the day Tusu tried to break the seal of the Demon Path, the number of Dark Races present was only half of what we have scouted. Furthermore, none of the four Ba appeared."
The Buddha leaned back and stretched. "Namo Amitabha. Very good, very good. It is time the Three Realms became a bit more lively. I remember back when Gonggong got drunk and rode a Ghost Carriage, accidentally knocking down Mount Buzhou. The God Realm ruled it a case of drunk driving, and the war that followed..."
Guanyin’s face was a picture of misery.
***
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