When Qiao’er was seven, she pestered the green-eyed zombie about who her parents were. He told her frankly that he did not know. She then pestered him about who he was, and he promised to tell her everything when she turned fourteen.
From then on, she looked forward to growing up every day, even eating half a bowl of rice more than usual. The green-eyed zombie began to teach her how to write, hand in hand. He taught her how to grind ink, but she was far more interested in the ink itself than in practicing her characters; after a day’s practice, she would be covered in black stains. The zombie never grew impatient. He wrote in a beautiful, delicate small regular script—the very style Qiao’er had once taught him, stroke by stroke, while holding his hand. The handwriting of the human and the zombie was strikingly similar.
“This is *Qiao*, as in your name, Qiao’er,” he said softly.
Qiao’er still had questions. “Why am I called Qiao’er?”
The green-eyed zombie shook his head. “Hou does not know. You were already called Qiao’er when we met. Here, this character is read as *Hou*. It is my name.”
Qiao’er was much more interested in his name. “It’s so hard to write!”
He kept a firm grip on her hand, correcting her posture. “That is why you must practice it many times. If you ever encounter danger, you can write this character, and I will know.”
Qiao’er looked up at him. Her lips brushed against his chin—soft and warm—and his heart turned into a tender cloud.
After much deliberation, the green-eyed zombie finally sent her to the town’s private school. Originally, the school did not accept female students, but there were several wealthy families in town who also wished for their daughters to be literate. The schoolmaster eventually opened a class for girls, specifically for female students. The fees were outrageously high, but the green-eyed zombie did not care. He didn’t require her to learn a vast amount of knowledge; he simply wanted her to make a few friends so her childhood would be happier.
He felt he truly was becoming like a father to her—loving her, protecting her, wanting to keep her all to himself while knowing that giving her a wider sky was what was best for her.
And so, Qiao’er began her schooling. She never gave up questioning her origins, and the green-eyed zombie always promised to tell her once she grew up. Eventually, even Guanyin was impressed. “Are you still not going to let her recover her memories?”
The green-eyed zombie smiled gently and shyly. “Actually… as long as she is happy, it is fine. Let’s wait until she’s a bit older.”
Qiao’er began to grow taller day by day, and her waistline gradually defined itself, losing the baby fat of her childhood. Her face was small, but her eyes were large and bright, sparkling with intelligence. Sleeping in the same bed began to put some pressure on the green-eyed zombie. He had no concept of propriety and had never suggested they sleep in separate rooms. Qiao’er was also accustomed to sleeping with her head pillowed on his chest every night.
He often spent the night wide awake, while Qiao’er slept soundly, occasionally giving his face two heavy "bites" when she woke up in the morning. The zombie’s heart would bloom with joy; he wanted to take a little advantage of the situation but feared he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. Guanyin had said that engaging in intimacy before a human reached adulthood was bad for their body.
Finally, in the year Qiao’er turned fifteen, her first cycle arrived. She came home from school and hugged the green-eyed zombie, crying and saying she was bleeding a lot. He explained the knowledge he had learned from Bingyi to her, but in the end, it was Sister Wu who helped her settle everything. Qiao’er had always regarded her as a mother and was very attached to her. She stayed at Sister Wu’s house quite late that day, and when she finally came out, her face was flushed red. “Auntie Wu said… she said…”
The green-eyed zombie looked at her suspiciously. “Said what?”
Qiao’er grew even more bashful. “She said I am your betrothed wife. Is it true?”
The green-eyed zombie’s face also reddened. After a long pause, he answered, “Yes. You are my wife.”
At fifteen, one was already of marriageable age. The green-eyed zombie began to arrange their wedding. He consulted many elders in the town to learn how human marriage rituals should be conducted. He then chose an auspicious day to ensure Qiao’er would be married with all due honor and splendor.
Sister Wu was delighted. She was getting on in years, yet the green-eyed zombie had not aged a single day in fifteen years. On the day of the wedding, the green-eyed zombie hosted a massive banquet in the town, with a "flowing water feast" that lasted seven days and nights. Since neither the human nor the zombie had parents, Sister Wu acted as both the matchmaker and the honored elder.
The banquet was incredibly lively, though the bride’s lovely face was hidden beneath a red veil, her expression unseen.
The green-eyed zombie wore a large red silk flower on his chest as he led Qiao’er to bow to Heaven and Earth. Around them, the wedding attendants scattered copper coins and candies, causing the crowd to scramble for them in excitement.
Qiao’er did not have to wait long in the bridal chamber. The green-eyed zombie had a poor tolerance for alcohol, and Sister Wu had blocked everyone who tried to toast him.
When the zombie entered the room, he saw Qiao’er sitting on the edge of the bed in her phoenix crown and embroidered robes. The red candles shed "tears" of wax, and the shadows flickered; the room was filled with the festive color of joy. He slowly reached out his hand, terrified that this was merely a beautiful dream he was having while sleeping too long in a coffin.
The town’s customs were simple and lacked tedious rules. Sister Wu had the newlyweds drink the nuptial cup and then withdrew, leaving only Qiao’er and Hou in the room.
Hou leaned down and crouched before Qiao’er. The candlelight reflected on his face, the tenderness in his eyes as potent as aged wine. “Qiao’er, are you happy?”
Qiao’er nodded shyly. He performed a hand seal, and when he opened his palm, there was a faint orb of light. “Qiao’er, humans have three souls and seven physical spirits. This is one of the spirits of your human soul. It will allow you to remember our past. Things from a very long time ago. Do you want to remember?”
Qiao’er looked up at him, a playful smile on her face. “Are they happy memories or unhappy ones?”
Hou’s lips curled into a smile. “There are happy ones, and there are unhappy ones.”
She took his arm affectionately. “Are there more happy ones or more unhappy ones?”
Hou’s smile deepened. “More happy ones.”
Qiao’er habitually gave him a light, butterfly-kiss on the cheek. “Then give it to me.”
By the time the green-eyed zombie brought Qiao’er back to Guantian Court, a month had passed since the wedding. Guanyin was very dissatisfied. “What could possibly take a whole month?”
The green-eyed zombie felt quite wronged. “I’ve endured for over a hundred years, and I finally raised her big enough to be intimate. I wasn’t going to mistreat myself!”
The residents of Guantian Court were highly dissatisfied with this "act first, report later" behavior and finally decided to have the two of them "act" again at Guantian Court!
Qiao’er put on her wedding dress for the second time, but she was marrying the same man. Guantian Court was always livelier. Yaoguang had prepared everything thoroughly; all the trees in the court were wrapped in red silk, red lanterns lined the beach, and every kind of wine and firework was provided.
There were many guests that evening. Just the zombies, shrimp, and crabs numbered in the hundreds. Adding in the people from the Beyond-Heaven and the God Realm, Qiao’er even discovered some folks who had no connection to them at all. The reason was simple—to see the spectacle and get a free meal.
For the bowing ceremony, Yinglong, Bingyi, and Guanyin had been the designated elders, but unexpectedly, the Tathagata Buddha himself came to join the fun. Naturally, the position of the honored elder went to him.
In the evening, the gods, spirits, and demons held a barbecue on the beach. The ancient High God Yinglong walked up to the groom. “Are you in good form today?”
The green-eyed zombie understood his meaning. He nodded. “Come.”
Qiao’er was a bit worried and lightly tugged at his sleeve. Yinglong saw this, of course. “Only to determine a winner. Not a life-and-death struggle.”
As he left, Bingyi was also a bit uneasy. “Yinglong…”
Yinglong’s expression was calm, but his clenched fists betrayed his excitement. Bingyi shook his head. “After all these years, he still has this temperament.”
When the crowd of gods and demons heard that two ancient war gods were going to duel, they all grew excited. This was a group that loved nothing more than chaos. The red-eyed zombie immediately set up a betting pool: ten-to-one odds for Yinglong to win, and two-to-one for the green-eyed zombie.
Everyone knew this was heavily biased—but what could you expect when the bookie was a zombie?
Qiao’er was also worried, but since Yinglong had said it was only to determine a winner, there shouldn’t be any danger. She walked to the red-eyed zombie’s table and placed a bet. “I’m betting on Hou.”
Bingyi gave a wry smile and shouted to the two of them, “You two, remember to stop when you’ve reached the point!”
The green-eyed zombie and Yinglong moved away from the crowd, standing suspended far out over the azure sea. The tide surged violently, the sound of waves crashing against the beach as mist rose into the air. The green-eyed zombie transformed into his corpse form; his fangs extended an inch from his lips, the green in his eyes intensified, and the milky moonlight falling on him gave him an almost eerie, demonic charm.
Yinglong was not to be outdone. The green-eyed zombie saw his weapon for the first time—a golden longsword. He snorted coldly. “Come!”
Qiao’er could only see two figures clashing and separating in an instant. Gray-black corpse qi spread out, obscuring the sky and the moon. Occasional metallic clangs rang out, but it was impossible to tell who had the upper hand.
All the zombies were hooting and screeching. Bingyi and Guanyin couldn’t understand them, but Qiao’er knew exactly what they were saying. They were chanting: “Boss, go! Yinglong, blow!”
...
“Who do you think will win?” Bingyi turned to look at Qiao’er. Amidst the strange cries of countless zombies and the wild sea breeze, she stood facing the wind, still wearing her bridal robes. She had removed the heavy phoenix crown, and her long black hair spread across her red robes like spilled ink. Her beauty was breathtaking. Hearing Bingyi’s question, she turned to him and smiled. “Does it matter?”
Out in the waves, both Yinglong and Hou had fought until their eyes were red. However, constrained by the agreement to stop at the point of victory, they couldn’t fight to their heart’s content. Finally, Yinglong spoke: “This is boring. Let’s decide the winner by blood. The first to bleed loses!”
This was exactly what Hou wanted. His sword strikes were no longer restrained. “Fine!”
The green-eyed zombie couldn’t understand the change in Yinglong’s emotions. His sword strikes kicked up towering waves, carrying a sharp killing intent that felt like a release. The zombie no longer hesitated. The pure zombie blood within him burned, and the baleful yin energy flowing in his veins was ignited. He met the challenge with an even more fierce fighting spirit.
They had long forgotten the original purpose of the duel, and even more so the promise to stop at the point of victory. Guanyin had been right—after thousands of years of cultivation, to meet such a formidable rival made the hardships of cultivation and the millions of years of loneliness worthwhile.
Qiao’er could feel the green-eyed zombie’s killing intent. She wanted to step forward, but Bingyi pulled her back. “Let them be.”
He looked as though he had expected this.
In the end, that night resulted in both sides suffering. A dragon and a zombie fell into the sea together, yet they felt incredibly refreshed. Yinglong revealed his true form; his dragon scales were upturned and mottled, a pathetic sight. The green-eyed zombie was no better; blood dripped from his fingertips, seven of his ten fingernails were broken, and he had almost damaged his precious zombie fangs...
Yinglong had drunk a bit too much, and after the fight, the alcohol began to surge again. He grabbed the green-eyed zombie, speaking as if in a drunken stupor. “A long time ago, Nüba and I had an agreement. If I defeated her, she would go to the Path of Demons; if I lost...”
He stopped halfway. The green-eyed zombie couldn't help but ask, “What if you lost?”
Yinglong leaned on his shoulder. It was pitch black in the seawater, and sound traveled slowly. “For all these years, I’ve suspected that she went easy on me back then. Today I finally know... indeed.”
The green-eyed zombie remained silent for a long time. It had struck the barrier of the Path of Demons before; it was painful, a feeling one couldn't truly understand without experiencing it.
Yinglong released his grip. In the darkness, his voice murmured, “Actually, sometimes I really hate Gongxi. She makes me feel... like I’m a bad person... but sometimes I’m very grateful to her. Nüba’s regrets have finally been made whole through you.”
The green-eyed zombie and Yinglong helped each other crawl out of the seabed. Guanyin, while gloating, pretentiously sprinkled some water from his Pure Vase on both of them. Yinglong was carried back by Bingyi. The green-eyed zombie was in better shape; he could still pester Qiao’er for their wedding night.
Outside the bridal chamber, by the corner of the wall. When Guiche arrived, it found the spot too crowded, yet there was nothing visible to the eye. It brought Qiao’er’s World-Reflecting Mirror over. The mirror revealed a cluster of High Gods hidden by Invisibility Grass—over twenty heads in total. Guiche’s nine heads all squinted as it held the mirror higher, observing this group of gossips from all angles. The gods were all a bit embarrassed, especially the Tathagata Buddha.
He held the highest status in the Western Heaven; to have such a gossipy side exposed before a junior made him feel quite lose face. But who was the Buddha? He immediately put on a serious face. “Hmm? Why is this Seat here? Amitabha, my sleepwalking is getting more and more serious...”
As he was leaving, he seemed to remember something. He leaned in close to Guanyin and whispered while rubbing his hands, “Dear disciple, now that the Golden-Haired Hou has had his wedding night, there should be a little Golden-Haired Hou soon, right? Hehehehe...”
Guanyin’s face once again became a picture of misery.
***
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