Chapter 29 - Nightly Whispers of the Heart
By the time the six of them emerged from Xianyue Pavilion, it was already past ten o'clock. When the parents heard that the two young men intended to head home immediately to pack their bags, their faces were a collective portrait of bewilderment. It seemed the couple was in such a hurry that they truly could not bear to wait even a single day longer.
With a tacit understanding, the elders refrained from teasing them further. Zhou Shu’s parents even went so far as to pull their front door shut the moment they entered their own house; after all, their Alpha son had effectively run off with the neighbor’s Enigma son.
After bidding their parents a brief goodnight, the two returned to Jin Yan’s room. Since Zhou Shu already had most of his essentials at his own place, they only needed to pack a few changes of clothes and some academic research papers before driving to Zhou Shu’s apartment in the city center.
The layout and decor of this apartment were nearly identical to his residence in the capital, continuing his penchant for a modern, minimalist aesthetic dominated by cool, slate-grey tones. Even the curtains were a muted charcoal; the entire home was devoid of any high-saturation colors. Despite not being lived in regularly, the rooms remained pristine and orderly, thanks to the frequent visits of a cleaning service.
This was Jin Yan’s second time visiting this apartment, but his state of mind was entirely different now. On his first visit, five years after their separation, he had been shrouded in a fog of complex, helpless emotions. This time, however, he arrived with the official seal of the Marriage Distribution Bureau backing his status—he was moving in as a legal husband.
For a fleeting moment, it all felt like a dream.
"Ge," Jin Yan whispered. He set down the luggage and walked into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Zhou Shu from behind.
Zhou Shu tilted his head, pressing a soft kiss against the corner of Jin Yan’s eye. "What is it?"
"I just went into the study. I saw them." He clung to Zhou Shu like a needy kitten, his voice laced with a lazy, affectionate drawl. "The things I gave you when we were kids... you never threw any of them away."
When Jin Yan had first returned, he hadn't seen a single trace of himself in Zhou Shu’s room. He had assumed that Zhou Shu, in his anger all those years ago, had purged every physical memory of their past. Yet here they were, familiar items preserved in perfect condition, displayed in the study like exquisite museum pieces.
"How could I ever bring myself to throw them away?" Zhou Shu sighed, his voice heavy with a helpless tenderness as he stroked Jin Yan’s cheek. "But I didn't dare look at them either. After I bought this apartment, I moved everything here."
*If I don't come back often, if I don't see them, perhaps I won't miss him so much,* Zhou Shu had once told himself.
Jin Yan fell silent, and Zhou Shu didn't speak either, simply allowing himself to be held in the quiet embrace. After a long while, Jin Yan let out a long, shaky breath. "I’ve finally gotten my wish."
"Mm. I’ve finally gotten mine, too." Zhou Shu lowered his gaze, his fingers brushing against the arms locked around his waist.
The scents of the ocean and falling rain intertwined in the moonlight, drifting through the room. At this moment, they were more certain than ever that the bond between them was never a matter of gender; it was a destiny that had been etched into their very marrow since birth.
"Alright, I’m going to make the bed. Go take a shower and get some sleep; you have work tomorrow," Zhou Shu urged, glancing at the clock whose hands had long since drifted toward the early hours of the morning.
Jin Yan let out a low chuckle, his fingers tracing restless patterns against the curve of Zhou Shu’s waist. "Together," he rasped.
Zhou Shu froze for a moment. Whatever thought crossed his mind caused the tips of his ears to flush a deep crimson.
"Ge, what are you thinking about? Why are your ears so hot again?" Jin Yan pressed his lips against the burning skin, his words and actions making no effort to hide his mischievous intent.
"You really are..." Zhou Shu struggled weakly to break free, eventually forcing the younger man toward the bathroom.
Knowing that Zhou Shu maintained his "cold and aloof" persona at all times except when governed by desire, Jin Yan stopped teasing him and obediently went to wash up.
When they finally lay down together, the air around them was filled with the refreshing fragrance of grass after a spring rain. Carrying the nervous excitement of their first official night of cohabitation, they held hands and began their nightly whispers.
"I just thought of something," Zhou Shu said, breaking the silence. "When did your junior, Gou Feifei, and Zhu Lili meet?"
Jin Yan was amused by the sudden shift in topic. "You’re lying in bed with me and thinking about another Enigma and Omega?" Zhou Shu shot him a playful glare, and Jin Yan pulled him closer into his chest. "It was the day we reunited."
Seeing Zhou Shu’s bewildered expression, Jin Yan explained further, "At 'Mist on the Sea.' Gou Feifei, Jiang Rong, and I were there that night. It was a coincidence that we ran into her, and we all ended up in the van together."
"Oh..." Zhou Shu nodded, then paused as the realization hit him. "Wait, your junior is also an Enigma?"
"He is. Why?"
Zhou Shu recalled his "girls' night" chat with Zhu Lili. He distinctly remembered her saying she had never encountered an Enigma before.
"Nothing, I just feel like Zhu Lili is being a bit mysterious this time." Zhou Shu was still trying to process the information. "So... the two of them only met that night at the bar?"
Jin Yan thought for a moment. "To be precise, that was the night they started their... physical relationship."
"..." Zhou Shu was silent for several seconds. "That’s a lot of information. I’m a bit overwhelmed."
"When I called Zhu Lili back then, Gou Feifei was the one who answered," Jin Yan added with a soft snort. "In the early morning."
"That Zhu Lili is truly something..." Zhou Shu shook his head with a helpless smile. "I can't believe she cast her net over your junior." He paused, a thought occurring to him. "But I get the feeling that she’s a bit different toward him this time."
Jin Yan listened to his lover gossip while stealing occasional kisses, responding whenever he found the breath. "Goofy told me that Julia is his girlfriend."
Zhou Shu’s expression went completely blank. It took several seconds before he could speak in disbelief. "Girlfriend?"
Jin Yan nodded. He remembered clearly how Gou Feifei had bragged to him that day.
However, Zhou Shu shook his head in denial. "Impossible. Zhu Lili never engages in 'normal' relationships." Realizing his words might be ambiguous, he clarified, "I mean, a standard, committed boyfriend-girlfriend relationship."
Jin Yan laughed. "I can tell. She seems like the type who lives for 'timely pleasure.'"
Zhou Shu shot him a look. "Is that so? She certainly had the nerve to try and hook up with you back then."
"Hmm?" Jin Yan caught the hint of jealousy in his tone and turned on his side to stare at Zhou Shu. "Is my Ge jealous?"
Zhou Shu smiled helplessly. "How could our Yan-yan be so easily hooked?"
"Oh? But I seem to recall a certain Movie King who once had a 'rumored girlfriend' known by the entire nation." Jin Yan deliberately altered his tone, dripping with mock sarcasm.
"Tsk, that’s enough." Zhou Shu turned his face away, acting proud. "Didn't someone post a clarification the moment he got back?"
"Yes, yes. Ge loves me the most, I know." Jin Yan coaxed him, gently turning Zhou Shu’s body back toward him.
Their foreheads rested against each other, their breaths mingling. Zhou Shu caught the scent of the body wash on Jin Yan’s skin. He had once told Jin Yan that out of all the soaps he had searched for over the years, this one smelled the most like the air in Haicheng on the day Jin Yan was born. He kept a bottle in every one of his homes, though he had smelled it for so long he had become habituated to it. It was as if the scent had soaked into his skin and seeped into his bones.
But now that Jin Yan was actually wearing the scent, Zhou Shu realized just how much his past behavior revealed his inner longing. It was enough to make him blush.
"Ge, I didn't realize you loved me this much..." Jin Yan sensed the heat of that long-standing yearning. He tightened his arms around Zhou Shu, burying his face in the crook of the older man's neck, peppering the skin with dense, tiny kisses. "I thought it was just my own wishful thinking. I thought you had long since forgotten about marrying me."
How many people truly took the childhood promises of a toddler seriously? Moreover, the shadows cast by the passing of time are often the most deceptive things in the world.
But Zhou Shu’s voice trembled as he replied, "No, how could I..." His breathing grew ragged, his Adam's apple bobbing as he whispered, "How could I ever bear to let you go?"
He took a few breaths, sinking back into his memories. "It was my fault. I forgot that you were a sensitive, jealous little kid who loved to act spoiled. I shouldn't have told you so many stories about other people. I shouldn't have stayed so far away. When you heard me talking about what happened in university... were you very sad?"
Hearing this, a wave of bitterness surged into Jin Yan’s chest and up into his nose, making it difficult to speak. *So, Ge really did remember everything.*
The mutual realization after a misunderstanding is often the sweetest and most painful thing. No matter how much grievance they had harbored, they only blamed themselves for causing the other pain. Both of them were the same—always putting the other’s feelings first.
The air remained still for a long time. Jin Yan didn't speak, and Zhou Shu knew his silence was an admission.
"I'm sorry, Ge..." Once the tightness in his chest subsided, Jin Yan broke the silence.
Zhou Shu startled, unsure of how to react. Since Jin Yan’s return, he had apologized more than once. Previously, Zhou Shu had felt a flicker of anger at the apologies, but this time, he felt only a piercing ache in his heart.
"I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have gone without saying goodbye," Jin Yan continued, nuzzling into the hollow of Zhou Shu’s neck.
Zhou Shu’s eyes wavered as he gently stroked Jin Yan’s hair. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone." He kissed Jin Yan’s temple, murmuring with heartache, "How scared you must have been that day..."
Yes... he had been terrified.
He had differentiated into an Alpha, the same gender as his brother. He knew then that there could never be a mark between them, and those childhood promises and deep bonds seemed to evaporate into thin air. Jin Yan had been forced to accept a gender that was entirely foreign to his self-perception. He didn't know how to be an Alpha; after all, he had spent his entire life preparing to be an Omega.
And the person who had promised to mark him, to make him his Omega, had left because he himself had become an Alpha.
That night, Jin Yan had bitten his blanket and cried in his room for a long time. It was the first and last time he had ever cried as an Alpha. From that day on, it was as if he had been reborn; he forced himself to be a good Alpha and forced himself to bury his longing for Zhou Shu. His final shred of hope had shattered when Zhou Shu rejected the idea of an AA relationship. He had to learn to live alone.
He never blamed Zhou Shu; he only lamented that fate enjoyed playing jokes on him. But the joke wasn't funny, so he stopped laughing.
After arriving in Country A, he lived a solitary life. He made new friends, but he remained silent. He met all sorts of people—Omegas, Betas, and even Alphas who confessed to him. The result was always the same. His heart could no longer stir for anyone else; it would forever hold only that one specific patch of ocean.
Perhaps his obsession was too deep, for in a place where the sea breeze lashed against his face, while clutching the bracelet he had given his brother, he underwent a secondary differentiation into the fourth gender—the one that could mark his brother.
When he woke, he was still gripping that chain, accepting fate’s mockery once more. His brother had become a Movie King, his personality was so charming, and he surely had his own Omega. He truly didn't need Jin Yan anymore, and he certainly wouldn't accept a mark, transitioning from a top-tier Alpha to a submissive, exclusive Omega.
These complex thoughts had plagued him day and night. He had grown used to the pain and had prepared himself to offer a smiling blessing. But now that he had returned with those tangled feelings, he found that everything was different from what he had imagined.
His brother didn't have an Omega. He had encased himself in a thick metal shell, keeping everyone at a distance, including his own parents. And he had done all of it to protect Zhou Duo—the second personality he had split off for Jin Yan’s sake. That personality was essentially the version of himself from their childhood...
More than grievance, Jin Yan felt an inexhaustible sense of heartache. He couldn't imagine Zhou Shu’s five years of solitary endurance. He couldn't forgive himself for not being by Zhou Shu’s side during those five years.
"Ge... I'm sorry..." Jin Yan apologized again, his voice trembling as he held Zhou Shu tightly, refusing to let go.
Zhou Shu’s heart twisted. He sighed and leaned in to initiate a kiss, starting with those eyes that were as beautiful as a doll's.
After a moment of tenderness, they pulled apart. Jin Yan rose slightly, hovering over Zhou Shu, wanting to see the face he had dreamed of more clearly. He leaned in inch by inch, pecking at Zhou Shu’s lips and the beauty mark beneath them, as if he could never get enough. His gaze was incredibly doting, as if he were looking at a precious child.
Zhou Shu hadn't expected to be treated with such embarrassing tenderness by his younger brother. Flustered and slightly indignant, he flipped them over, taking the dominant position. He looked down at Jin Yan from above, their bodies pressed close.
The temperature between them began to rise, and the heat in their eyes could no longer be concealed. Then, Zhou Shu felt an unmistakable change in a certain part of the other man’s body. And in his own.
Flushed to the tips of his ears, he tried to get up, but before he could move, a pair of arms locked around his waist. He looked down to see Jin Yan looking up at him, his eyes brimming with the vernal waters of desire.
Zhou Shu knew that tonight would be another exhausting one.
As the moon reached its zenith, Zhou Shu spoke in a hoarse, breathless voice.
"Jin Yan... we really should learn some moderation..."
***
