"Are you ever going to let go?" Nan Muxue asked, her voice a mix of helplessness and gentle coaxing. "It’s time for lunch."
Chu Ruo, her head still resting on the other woman's shoulder, gave a stubborn shake. "I don't have much of an appetite today anyway."
This was far too unusual. "You? Lacking an appetite? That truly is a first."
"You make it sound like I’m some kind of glutton."
"Are you not?"
"You—" Chu Ruo started to snap back, but the thought of Nan Muxue’s childhood suddenly flickered through her mind. Her fire died instantly. "If you say so, then I suppose I am."
"Ruo'er." This time, Nan Muxue firmly pried the hands from her waist and turned to face her. She cupped Chu Ruo’s face in her palms. "Tell me, what is wrong?"
Something was definitely the matter. Given this girl's personality, for her to skip a meal and mope around without even talking back—it was unheard of. Nan Muxue felt her own heart sink in tandem with Chu Ruo's mood. *What is happening to you?* she wondered, a question directed at both Chu Ruo and herself.
"I..." Chu Ruo hesitated. She didn't want to repeat the things she had heard. Speaking them would only make Nan Muxue unhappy. She felt for her, and the last thing she wanted was to cause her more pain. She shook her head resolutely. "It’s nothing." She quickly changed the subject. "Master, why are you so talkative today? Do you dislike me hugging you?"
"You!" Nan Muxue’s face flushed a deep crimson, her apricot eyes widening in a slight glare. "Go to the table and eat!"
Chu Ruo leaned in shamelessly. "Since I cannot see right now, I must trouble Master to lead her disciple there."
*Shameless.* How could someone change their face so quickly? Nan Muxue felt her worry had been a waste of breath, especially since the girl had used the opportunity to cling to her for so long. Despite her irritation, she remembered that Chu Ruo was currently blind. Gritting her teeth, she took her hand and led her to the seat. After instructing A-Yue to serve the dishes, she said curtly, "Eat."
Chu Ruo propped her chin on one hand and stared blankly in Nan Muxue's direction, letting out a series of long, dramatic sighs. "Sigh... Sigh... Haaaah..."
*Cough, cough...* Nan Muxue set down her bowl of porridge. That mournful tone had nearly made her choke. "What are you doing now?"
"I'm hungry."
"Then eat."
Chu Ruo had been waiting for exactly that. Taking the opening, she said piteously, "How can I eat if I can't see?"
So that was the game. Nan Muxue ignored her, focusing on her own light porridge. Through her blurry vision, Chu Ruo could just make out the shape of the other woman holding a bowl and ignoring her. "Master..."
"Then how did you manage dinner last night and breakfast this morning?"
Chu Ruo immediately launched into a boastful explanation. "I had Xiao Guo'er! And the other disciples. Whenever it’s time to eat, they come to my room. Whatever I want to eat, someone feeds it to me. One bite at a time, just like an Emperor. All those older sisters—and younger sisters too—I just open my mouth and they pop it right in. It’s quite the blissful life... life..."
Even with her vision blurred, Chu Ruo’s survival instincts were sharp. She realized she had overstepped. Two razor-sharp gazes were currently carving into her, making her skin crawl with a familiar icy dread.
"Go on," came the familiar, freezing voice of the ice beauty. "Continue. Your Master is listening. Dis-ci-ple, why have you stopped?"
Chu Ruo swallowed hard. *Heavens, what did I do wrong? I just didn't want to use my hands!* She shrank her neck back. "No... nothing more."
"Since Ruo'er is so happy there, I shall send you back. Oh," Nan Muxue gave a cold smirk, "and I’ll send Yunshuang to accompany you as well. How does that sound?"
*Good grief.* No one was more poisonous than this Little Scorpion. What did she do to deserve being sent to Nan Yunshuang's chopping block? "No need, no need! It’s perfectly fine here with Master. Perfectly fine."
"What’s fine about it? I have no one to feed you, nor do I have a crowd of 'sisters' to keep you company. I’m sure this food isn't to your taste. Why force yourself..."
"I'm not forcing myself!" Chu Ruo interrupted, groping blindly for a bowl. "It’s great here... Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot! Ow!"
She had vaguely seen a bowl and reached for it. However, while Nan Muxue’s bowl contained cooled porridge, the bowl Chu Ruo grabbed was a specially brewed wolfberry and pig liver soup meant to improve eyesight. It was scalding. Caught off guard, she jerked her hand back, splashing the hot liquid over herself. The study was instantly filled with her wailing. "Ow, it burns! It’s so hot! It hurts! Waaaaah!"
Nan Muxue dropped her chopsticks immediately, looking at her with a mix of worry and exasperation. "Stop screaming." She quickly grabbed a salve and began applying it to Chu Ruo’s burned hand. "Did it get on your body?"
"Hiss—gentle, please!" Chu Ruo grimaced. "I don't think so, just my hand. It’s so hot!"
"You are a master of destruction and a novice at everything else," Nan Muxue muttered as she carefully applied the ointment.
"I'm the one who got burned here!" Chu Ruo pouted. "It’s your fault anyway. If you had fed me, would I have had to grab the soup myself? You knew I couldn't see, yet you still bullied me. You... you're heartless... Ow! Waaaah! What are you doing? That hurts!"
"Didn't you say I was heartless?" Nan Muxue deliberately pressed down a bit harder while rubbing in the medicine. "I wouldn't want to disappoint your evaluation of me."
*You... you're toxic!* Chu Ruo didn't dare say it out loud. Tears welled in her eyes, but strangely, the moisture seemed to clear her vision slightly. Was this a blessing in disguise? Her hand still throbbed, but the salve was wonderfully cool.
"What are you dazing off for? Open your mouth."
Chu Ruo snapped back to reality and instinctively obeyed. A spoonful of soup entered her mouth; the temperature was now perfect, and it tasted delicious. *You Little Scorpion, if you were going to feed me anyway, why did you have to make me get burned first? Not cute at all.*
After she was about half-finished, she spoke up. "I want to eat something else. Is there shredded chicken cold noodles? I think I smell them." Her vision was improving; she could roughly identify the dish and wanted to confirm if she was seeing correctly.
"You certainly know how to order your Master around," Nan Muxue said, but she nonetheless picked up a few strands of noodles and chicken to feed her. "You're useless at everything else, but your nose is sharper than a dog's."
*Can't you say one nice thing?* Chu Ruo thought. *Fine, since you're feeding me, I won't argue with you, little girl.* "The chef’s skills have improved lately. Not bad, not bad."
She had no idea that Baihua Palace was primarily vegetarian. Because she wasn't used to it, Nan Muxue had specifically recruited two cooks during their last trip down the mountain just to handle Chu Ruo’s meals. Such consideration was something she would likely never show another person in her life.
"In the future," Nan Muxue suddenly declared, startling Chu Ruo so much she almost forgot to swallow her noodles, "you are not allowed to let anyone else feed you."
"Then," Chu Ruo asked cautiously, "will you be the one to feed me?"
The answer came almost instinctively. "Yes."
The voice was as quiet as a mosquito's buzz, but it reached Chu Ruo’s ears clearly. Something shifted in her heart. Then she remembered something else. "What if I’m blind for the rest of my life? No... Baihua Palace wouldn't keep me."
"Ruo'er," Nan Muxue took her hand. She assumed Chu Ruo’s gloom today was due to fear of permanent blindness. She squeezed the palm that had given her warmth so many times. "Don't be afraid. Your eyes will be fine. Baihua Palace—no, *I*—will not abandon you. If they aren't better in a few days, I will take you down the mountain to find a famous doctor. I will take you to see Hu Yi."
"Hu Yi? 'Huluan Yi' (Random Medical Treatment)? That sounds like a disaster! You... you're trying to kill me!"
"Shut up." Nan Muxue was speechless at how quickly the girl could ruin a poignant moment. "Hu Yi is the descendant of the Ghost Doctor lineage. His medical skills are divine. If you aren't better soon, I’m taking you to him."
*I get to go down the mountain to play?* Chu Ruo’s mind began to whirl with schemes. *Maybe I shouldn't mention my eyes are recovering yet. Otherwise, she'll definitely make me practice martial arts or check the ledgers. I'll use this chance to slack off and have the Little Scorpion take me out for fun. I'll just 'suddenly recover' when the time is right.* Besides, the Little Scorpion was much easier to talk to when she thought Chu Ruo was blind. *Decision made!*
"Ruo'er?" Nan Muxue nudged her.
"Ah? What?"
"There is no need to be so worried. Your eyes will be fine." Nan Muxue touched the gauze over her eyes, her touch full of tenderness and indulgence.
Chu Ruo’s heart skipped a beat. She suddenly grabbed the other woman's hand, causing both of them to startle. "But what if... what if they really can't be fixed?"
"Your Master has said it before," Nan Muxue replied, the back of her other hand brushing against Chu Ruo’s cheek. "I would support you for a lifetime. I do not break my word."
"Master," Chu Ruo whispered, deeply moved. "Why are you so good to me?"
Nan Muxue gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Good? I poisoned you with the Hundred Flowers Gu and I beat you. Is that 'good'?"
"It is," Chu Ruo answered instinctively. "You and Yan'er are both good to me."
At the mention of Yan'er, Nan Muxue saw the girl’s face darken again. She felt a sudden urge to tease her. "Speaking of Yan'er, your Master has something she wishes to ask you."
Chu Ruo was busy gnawing on a chicken wing. "What?"
"I went to Yan'er's room last night."
"Pfft—*cough, cough, cough!*" Chu Ruo nearly choked to death. "And... and then?"
"And then, she was not in her room," Nan Muxue chuckled. "Where does Ruo'er think she went?"
"I... how should I know? Go ask Yan'er!" *I’m dead. Not just me, Yan'er too. What a disaster.*
Nan Muxue couldn't help but smile at her panicked expression. She suppressed a laugh. "As things stand, I will give you one more chance. Tell the truth. Where exactly was Yan'er last night?"
*Good grief, that tone. Do you already know? If you know, why are you asking?* "That... oh, right, I have something to ask you."
"Don't change the subject. Yan'er—"
"I'll tell you in a bit, I really have something to ask!" Chu Ruo said with forced seriousness. "Are Yan'er and Nan Yunshuang... very close?"
Nan Muxue was puzzled. "Why do you ask that?"
"Just answer me. How is their relationship?"
"They used to tell each other everything." Yan'er and Yunshuang had indeed been like sisters. All five of them had been close once. Though their personalities differed and they all kept a certain distance from her as the Young Palace Master, she had always hoped they would remain well. Unfortunately, as the years passed, they could never go back to the way things were.
*Bang!*
Chu Ruo slammed her hand on the table and stood up. Nan Muxue, who was sipping tea, was nearly startled out of her wits. "What kind of madness is this now?"
Chu Ruo was fuming. "She never told me! She actually didn't tell me! That’s too much!"
"Tell you what? Is she so close to you that she must tell you everything?" Nan Muxue understood a bit more now. *Is she actually this jealous?* The thought made her feel strangely pleased.
"How... how are we not close?" Chu Ruo muttered. "We've shared a bed, kissed, and held hands! And she... she didn't tell me anything. Yan'er, you have no conscience!"
She sounded like a jilted wife. Nan Muxue hooked a finger under her chin and tilted it up. "What did you just say? Yan'er stayed in your room last night?"
*Crap, I leaked it. What do I do? Calm down, breathe.* "Well, the thing is..."
"This face of Ruo'er's," Nan Muxue teased, her fingers still pinching the chin as she smiled playfully, "is truly not bad. It’s quite captivating. No wonder Yan'er likes it."
*Oh no, stop talking. I have a feeling nothing good is coming next.*
"I suppose," Nan Muxue continued, "being a male pet would be quite suitable for you."
*Clang!* That was the sound of Nan Muxue’s dignity hitting the floor. Chu Ruo stood up abruptly. *Where is your sense of propriety? Your morals? Your seriousness?* She clutched her chest in mock agony. "Who are you trying to sell me to? I’m telling you, I’d rather die than submit!"
"Who said," Nan Muxue leaned back, watching her with an elegant, lazy gaze, "that your Master was going to sell you?"
"Then whose male pet are you making me?"
Nan Muxue arched an eyebrow, her meaning clear. "What do you think?"
*You... you...* Chu Ruo never expected this. The usually serious, icy Little Scorpion was actually suggesting *this*? Lusting after her own disciple? *Do you have no shame? Am I the kind of person to be a male pet? Even if I eat your food and live in your house and let you support me... I still have my pride, okay?* After a fierce internal struggle, she managed to stammer out, "You... you're dreaming!"
"You think you have a choice?"
"What are you trying to do?" Chu Ruo backed away. "Don't force me to scream for help!"
Nan Muxue didn't even move. "Feel free."
"Help—" Chu Ruo stopped herself. *Forget it.* If people came, what would she say? That the Little Scorpion was molesting her and forcing her to be a male pet? No one would believe her. Even a ghost wouldn't believe it. Though Chu Ruo felt she was a man of character and integrity, the disciples of Baihua Palace were clearly oxygen-deprived from living on this peak for too long; they worshipped their Young Palace Master. She didn't want to become the laughingstock of the sect.
"What? Not screaming anymore?"
"What is wrong with you today?" Chu Ruo groped her way back to her seat. "You said I was acting strange, but you're even stranger. How can those words come out of your mouth?"
Before her seat was even warm, Nan Muxue’s next sentence nearly finished her off. "Tonight, come to my room for bedchamber service."
"What! Nan Muxue, do you know what you're saying?"
"What did you call me?"
She folded instantly. "Master~"
"Enough. It is settled. Continue eating; I need to review the palace affairs the disciples sent over."
*Are you serious?* Chu Ruo thought. *I mean, we've slept together plenty of times, but for you to be so blunt about 'bedchamber service'...* "I'm busy tonight. Yan'er..."
"She isn't here tonight. Don't tell me she didn't mention it to you."
Chu Ruo had forgotten they were "close." "Is this what they call taking advantage of an opening?"
Nan Muxue was at a loss for words at her stupidity. "You..."
"Master," Chu Ruo became serious again. "Did Yan'er tell you? I want to find a day for the three of us to..."
"She mentioned it."
"And what do you think?"
"We will discuss it when the time comes."
Chu Ruo wouldn't let it go. "When is 'the time'?"
"You will know when it arrives."
*That’s not an answer at all.* Chu Ruo stumbled over to the desk, guided by her poor vision. "Actually, do you know that I’ve kissed Yan'er? And hugged her..."
"I know."
The answer was crisp and immediate. *Would it kill you to say two more words? Why are you all so 'ethereal' and detached?* "Then... are you angry?"
"Whatever Yan'er’s attitude is, that is my attitude."
Chu Ruo was utterly bewildered. *What kind of situation is this?*
"Too much nonsense," Nan Muxue said without looking up from her ledgers. "If you're full, go sit in the back and sleep. Don't make a sound."
"Aren't you going to rest?"
"No."
*Why so stubborn?* Chu Ruo thought. *Just take a nap. I'll sleep if you won't.* She sat down obediently, but she couldn't fall asleep. Usually, she was drowsy after lunch, but today she felt restless. "Master, come here for a second."
Nan Muxue thought something was wrong. She set down her brush and walked over. "What is it?"
"It’s just..." Chu Ruo’s hands were quick. She grabbed the other woman's arm and pulled her into her lap. She successfully captured the Little Scorpion, though the woman struggled like a freshly caught fish. "Chu Ruo! What are you—"
"I just want you to sleep for a bit too," Chu Ruo said, holding her in a death grip. "Besides, it’s hot and you're cool. I want to sleep too."
Nan Muxue stopped speaking and stopped moving. Chu Ruo happily tightened her embrace. "Then, I’m sleeping? You sleep too."
"You," Nan Muxue started, then reached up to place her hand over Chu Ruo’s eyes. "Sleep."
"But you..."
"Be quiet," she interrupted. "I’ll read for a while."
...
Time passed quickly. When Chu Ruo woke up, it was already around seven in the evening. As soon as she moved, she felt the person in her arms move too. Looking through her blurry vision, she saw the sleeping Little Scorpion. In sleep, she was as well-behaved as a docile kitten. Chu Ruo held her carefully, not daring to move again.
Eventually, A-Yue’s voice from outside woke Nan Muxue, asking if they wanted dinner. Nan Muxue rarely ate in the evening, but because Chu Ruo was there, A-Yue knew her mistress's intentions. Seeing that it was dark, she reminded them.
If she could, Chu Ruo really wished A-Yue hadn't woken her. If she hadn't woken up, she wouldn't be sitting by the bath in Nan Muxue’s room right now, feeling awkward and... well, *that*. She hadn't expected the Little Scorpion to have such a good memory. She thought the "bedchamber service" was a joke, but the woman had actually brought her back to her room. And because she thought Chu Ruo couldn't see, she had boldly led her to the bathside and started bathing herself.
Chu Ruo felt this was quite the "benefit," and she struggled to keep her eyes in check. *Wait, I’m the reincarnation of Liu Xia Hui! Besides, my vision is so blurry, I can only see shapes.* But the sound of the water was enough for her mind to fill in the blanks. Her face was beet red. *This is so shameful.*
"Why are you turning away?"
Chu Ruo felt like breathing was a chore. *You Little Scorpion, can't you wash faster?* She forced herself to turn back. "You're really just... bathing right in front of me?"
"Heh." *Splash.* The image of a beauty emerging from the water—a lotus rising from the waves. Even though it was blurry, that single glimpse of the silhouette was enough. Chu Ruo felt like she was about to have a nosebleed. She hurriedly covered her nose. *Dry. Good, good.* If the Little Scorpion found out, she’d probably skin her alive. "You can't see anyway."
*Fine, mock me. I won't tell you I can see. I'll watch you every day from now on, see what you do about it!* She looked over nervously, just as Nan Muxue draped a thin, sheer silk nightgown over herself. She was graceful and exquisite, her hair cascading down. *How can she be so beautiful?*
"What are you staring for? Come here." Nan Muxue took her hand and led her toward the bed. Chu Ruo shivered. "I... I haven't washed yet."
"Xiao Guo'er said you bathed this morning when you woke up. You haven't gone anywhere, and your eyes are inconvenient. Let it go for today."
Chu Ruo cursed her own rare moment of cleanliness. "Well... I should still wash. I like being clean."
Nan Muxue turned and saw her shrinking back. She deliberately leaned in, her voice thick with ambiguity. "Fine. Then Master shall help Ruo'er wash."
Chu Ruo waved her hands frantically. "No need! I’ll do it myself."
"Your eyes are afflicted. It’s better if Master does it."
"No need!" Chu Ruo scrambled onto the bed and pulled the covers over herself. "I’m not washing! I’m not washing today!"
There was a rustle of clothing, and the candlelight in the room was extinguished by a flick of Nan Muxue’s finger. A delicate fragrance filled Chu Ruo’s nose as a body settled beside her. A whisper drifted into her ear. "Who was the one clinging to me when we were down the mountain? And who was the shameless one who insisted on holding me in the study this afternoon? Why are you hiding now?"
"That’s different! Now... now you're making me 'attend the bed'!"
Nan Muxue gave a disdainful snort. "You certainly have a vivid imagination."
*Hey, I don't like that tone.* Chu Ruo kicked the blanket aside and spread her arms wide in a gesture of fearless sacrifice. "Fine! Bedchamber service it is! Come on, who’s afraid of who?"
"No sense of propriety. Thick-skinned." Despite her words, Nan Muxue settled into Chu Ruo’s arms, her familiar cool temperature following. "As long as you are by my side, Yunshuang will not dare to come."
*So, it was to protect me.* "But you brought me to your room. If others find out..."
"No one will know. If someone does, it is their misfortune. Only the dead keep secrets best. Besides," her voice turned to ice, "even if they did know, they wouldn't have the courage to gossip."
"Even so, to the outside world, I am a man. If word gets out, it will ruin your reputation."
Nan Muxue relaxed against that warmth. "My reputation has never been good." She looked up with a small smile. "I don't mind, yet you are more nervous than I am."
Chu Ruo was in no mood for jokes now. She heard the faint, almost imperceptible sigh in the other woman's voice, and the bitter smile. She reached out and interlaced her fingers with Nan Muxue’s. They were always so cold, a chill that seemed to reach the bone.
"The first time you killed someone," Chu Ruo whispered, "what did it feel like?"
***
