Lin Yunsheng couldn't tell if she had been woken by hunger or pain. She propped herself up and saw it was already past four in the afternoon; no one had come to wake her.
Outside, the sky remained a dismal gray. Enduring the aches racking her body, she dressed and headed out. Zhao Man was sitting in the same spot as that morning, looking as though she hadn't stopped working for a second.
Seeing Lin Yunsheng approach, she said, "You're awake? You slept for so long, I didn't have the heart to disturb you."
"Where's Jiang Haitao?"
"In his room, probably sleeping too."
"Oh..." Lin Yunsheng leaned against the wall, pressing a hand to her forehead. Zhao Man felt miles away; she didn't have the strength to project her voice across the room.
Observing her closed eyes, Zhao Man stopped what she was doing and walked over with a grave expression. She reached out again to touch Lin Yunsheng’s forehead. This time, the other woman didn't dodge—perhaps she simply lacked the strength or the space to retreat.
As expected, she had a fever.
"I know, I'm running a fever," Lin Yunsheng spoke first, unwilling to hear the inevitable lecture.
"I'll take you home. I'll handle the rest of the work with Haitao."
"Mm..."
Lin Yunsheng stood rooted to the spot while Zhao Man went to gather her things.
After a moment, her legs gave out. She slid down the wall and crouched on the floor, folding her arms and burying her face in them.
She looked like a dying sun.
Zhao Man walked over softly. In her left hand, she held Lin Yunsheng’s scarf with the car keys hooked around her finger; in her right was the backpack. Standing before Lin Yunsheng, she looked down at the messy, chaotic strands of hair nearly touching the floor, the stubborn whorl at the crown of her head, and the slight tremors of her body as she breathed.
Zhao Man set the items against the wall, hiked up her trouser legs, and crouched down as well. Tucking a stray lock of hair behind Lin Yunsheng’s ear, she asked softly, "Does it hurt that much?"
Lin Yunsheng looked up, her eyes already rimmed with red. She stared at Zhao Man, then closed her eyes and nodded.
A sick person is naturally fragile, but no one had ever seen Lin Yunsheng like this. Zhao Man’s knees hit the floor as she knelt, pulling the woman into her arms and slowly stroking her back.
Lin Yunsheng hadn't put on her coat yet. Thanks to the ample heating, she had spent the whole day in just a thin T-shirt. As she trembled in the embrace, Zhao Man felt a small patch of her shoulder grow damp.
Certain words had long been forming in Zhao Man’s heart, but she hadn't known how to voice them.
—*Is this really all because of work?*
It wasn't until Lin Yunsheng pulled back that Zhao Man looked at her again. Her eyes were even redder now. She had haphazardly wiped away her tears, leaving a few strands of hair stuck to her temples.
Zhao Man reached out to smooth her hair. Licking her dry lips, she whispered, "Yunsheng..."
"Between you and your sister... is something going on?"
Lin Yunsheng stared at Zhao Man with those bloodshot eyes. Tears gathered rapidly once more, and she tilted her head back slightly.
The headache and muscle aches brought on by the fever became sharp and clear in that moment, accompanied by a ringing in her ears. Within that high-pitched drone, her thoughts began to regress and collapse. The "reasonable distances" she thought she had maintained, the excuses she thought could rationalize everything by using the label "biological sister"—it had all been in vain. Was it that she loved too much, or was her acting simply too poor?
She didn't answer. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes in resignation.
Tears were squeezed out, sliding past her temples and into the hollows of her ears. Cold and hot, overlapping in one place.
Zhao Man reached out to wipe away those scalding tears. She didn't speak again. She wiped away the tears, and with them, the answer.
She helped Lin Yunsheng up, wrapped the scarf around her, put on her own coat, and led her to the parking lot in silence.
The scene was no different from the day she had sent Chen Jinyue home. No one cared about the ethereal drizzle; the gloomy sky shrouded the entire city. Long red lights stared back at the two women through the thin mist, a silent understanding passing between them.
On the radio, the host said: "Today is the fifth day of the first lunar month, the day to welcome the God of Wealth. We wish our listeners abundant wealth and blessings. Additionally, the fifth day is commonly known as the Festival of Breaking Fives. The name comes from the tradition that many daily taboos can be broken on this day. May you all have an open heart and move forward bravely in the New Year."
—*An open heart.*
Lin Yunsheng’s eyes flickered. She gazed out at the city, which was gradually becoming busy again. The Spring Festival was almost over. In a few days, it would be Chen Jinyue’s birthday, and after that... she didn't want to think about what came after.
Electric scooters hugged the edges of the lanes, passing by motor vehicles. Hardly anyone in this city commuted on old-fashioned bicycles anymore. The back seat of such a bike was once the reason she had been willing to pedal anywhere.
But that had been left behind by time, never to return.
She reached out and turned off the radio, letting everything return to a silent stillness.
When Zhao Man dropped Lin Yunsheng off at her door, only Chen Fang was in the living room watching television. The scent of cooking rice wafted from the kitchen.
"Mom, I'm back."
Chen Fang hurried over, fussing that she hadn't called ahead, otherwise she would have bought more groceries.
Zhao Man set the bags in a corner of the entryway and said, "Yunsheng has a bit of a fever. I brought her back to rest."
"A fever?" Chen Fang’s tone turned anxious. She rushed to check her daughter's forehead, pulling her hand back sharply when she realized how high the temperature was.
Lin Yunsheng changed her shoes and walked toward the sofa. Zhao Man, familiar with the house, went to the kitchen to pour a glass of warm water. Placing it before her, she said, "I'll be going then. Get some good rest, and call me if you need anything."
Then, she gave the listless woman a meaningful look.
"Mm."
Zhao Man looked around but didn't see Chen Jinyue. She said goodbye to Mother Chen, who had just found the forehead thermometer, adding that if things didn't improve by tomorrow and they needed to go to the hospital, to be sure to contact her.
Chen Fang agreed, thanking her for bringing "Shengsheng" home, and saw her out.
*Beep—*
The screen displayed 38.7 degrees Celsius.
"Shengsheng, have you eaten anything today?"
She shook her head. She wanted to ask where Chen Jinyue was. Was she not home?
Worry and self-reproach were etched onto Chen Fang’s face. "You definitely haven't been resting well these past few days, and you haven't been eating right. I should have called you every day to check in."
"It's fine, Mom. What are we having for dinner?"
"I'll make you something light and easy to digest. You can rest after you eat."
"Okay."
Chen Fang turned to busy herself in the kitchen.
Lin Yunsheng blew on the warm water in her hands, the rising steam hitting her face. That question—*where is my sister?*—never made it past her lips.
Mindful of her daughter's illness, Chen Fang worked quickly. She brought the dishes to the table and then hurried to knock on Chen Jinyue’s door.
"Yueyue, get up and eat."
A groggy "Okay" drifted from the room.
So she was home, just sleeping. Chen Fang walked back to the living room, saying, "I don't know what's wrong with her lately; she's been so distracted. She only fell asleep after I got up today."
"Both of you are such a handful."
Lin Yunsheng smiled faintly and stood up from the sofa. Chen Fang went back to the kitchen first. Lin Yunsheng didn't move; she stood there, waiting for Chen Jinyue to come out.
She didn't understand why she had been able to endure six years without contacting her sister, yet now, after only three days, it felt unbearable.
She remembered the night moistened by strawberry juice, when Chen Jinyue had leaned against her shoulder right next to where she was standing now. When she had said, "I've waited for you for so long...", had she been feeling like this?
*I've waited for you for so long...*
*Why did you only just arrive?*
Chen Jinyue appeared in the hallway, bleary-eyed and yawning. Catching sight of the person standing by the sofa, her hazy eyes instantly cleared.
She rubbed her eyes, wondering if she was still dreaming. How could the person from her dreams be standing there right now?
She walked over, her eyes full of things she wanted to say, but her lips only parted slightly; no sound came out.
Lin Yunsheng’s gaze seemed clouded by the steam from the water, misty and tender. They stared at each other.
In that gaze, Chen Jinyue recalled her frantic New Year's kiss—every inch of her had been for the person in front of her.
*Why did you kiss me? Why were you so cold to me that day? Why are you looking at me like this now? Why aren't you saying anything?*
*Why do you always keep my heart in such a state of unrest?*
She felt a surge of grievance.
Lin Yunsheng took her hand and guided it to the side of her own neck. She gently pressed the girl's hand there and said, "I have a fever..."
Chen Fang was still in the kitchen. Lin Yunsheng thought: *Just this once.* It was reasonable to check a temperature when someone was sick. She would allow herself this one indulgence.
Chen Jinyue felt the heat with her palm; she felt Lin Yunsheng.
After a brief moment, Lin Yunsheng released her hand unobtrusively. Chen Jinyue asked if she had taken any medicine.
She shook her head.
The younger girl’s grievance vanished instantly. She turned to find the first-aid kit.
By the time she brought back the fever reducers, Lin Yunsheng was already seated at the dining table. Her expression was haggard, looking so weak she might collapse at any moment. She hadn't even looked this bad when she was drunk.
Jinyue placed the medicine by the table and said, "Take this after you eat."
"Okay."
Chen Fang asked if she still had to go to Jiang Haitao’s house for work tomorrow.
Lin Yunsheng lowered her eyes, knowing Zhao Man had already passed on the necessary information.
"No. I'll be home tomorrow and go back to the office the day after."
"Good. Then stay home and rest well tomorrow."
"Mm..."
Chen Jinyue sat beside her, glancing at her every few seconds. She watched to see if she was eating properly, noted which dishes she liked, and secretly tucked food into her bowl. She watched how her gentle, beautiful sister had turned into this sickly shadow of herself, noting that the two spots on her forehead still hadn't faded after several days.
When Lin Yunsheng put down her chopsticks, Chen Jinyue still had half a bowl of rice left. Lin Yunsheng couldn't hold out much longer. She said, "I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep."
"Oh, alright. Hurry up and get some rest," Chen Fang urged.
Twenty minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom. There was a timely knock on her door, as if someone had been waiting for her.
Lin Yunsheng opened the door to find Chen Jinyue standing there.
She was holding a glass of warm water and two unwrapped pills.
"You forgot your medicine..."
Lin Yunsheng took them and swallowed them obediently. Then, with her left hand on the doorknob and her body leaning against the frame, she tilted her head slightly.
"Anything else?" she asked.
Anything else... there were so many things to say.
There were words she had wanted to say since Nancheng but had held back until now. The phrase "Can we give each other another chance?" had been brewing in her throat for days.
But she couldn't ignore the exhaustion deep in her sister's eyes at this moment.
The lights in Lin Yunsheng’s room were off. Half her body was hidden in the darkness. Chen Jinyue quietly leaned in and left a kiss on the face that still wore a faint, weary smile.
The older woman took a half-step back, about to be swallowed by the shadows.
"Rest well."
"Mm."
Lin Yunsheng closed the door.
This room, which had briefly let in light because of Chen Jinyue’s arrival, turned back into a dark chamber with her departure.
She had no answer to the question Zhao Man had asked her, and she was unable to face it.
***
