If she didn’t know Lin Yunsheng, she would have been like the other scattered patrons in the bar, her gaze trailing after her, or perhaps she would have exchanged a knowing look with a companion and whispered about how beautiful the woman who just walked in was.
But there were no "ifs." In an instant, Chen Jinyue felt herself become like that sodden, sinking cinnamon stick—bitter, sour, and desperate to escape.
Lin Yunsheng noticed her, of course. The bar wasn't very crowded yet. However, she didn't walk toward them; instead, she went to a lone stool at the bar counter.
"What’s... the situation here? Is she here for you?" Ren Xiaoxiao watched her with a playful glint in her eyes, holding a fry between her fingers like a cigarette and taking a mock drag.
"How should I know?" Chen Jinyue muttered, taking another gulp of her drink.
Lin Yunsheng had barely sat down and hadn't even opened the drink menu before a man approached her to strike up a conversation. Chen Jinyue found the whole evening irritating. No, it wasn't just tonight; every moment of every day lately had been maddeningly frustrating.
The man didn't stay long. After a few words, he turned and left. Lin Yunsheng then pushed the unopened menu back to the bartender and said something. Naturally, Chen Jinyue couldn't hear what it was.
She wondered if Lin Yunsheng was a regular here, or if this was just a chance encounter, or if Lin Yunsheng simply didn't want to see her either.
"Your sister is quite skilled at fending off suitors, isn't she?"
"Is she? I can guess what she said." Chen Jinyue didn't play coy. "She’ll say she has a boyfriend."
"That’s a pretty lame excuse, but I guess it works."
"It’s not an excuse," Chen Jinyue said, followed by a disdainful huff.
"What do you mean? She’s actually in a relationship?!"
"She’s about to be." Chen Jinyue didn't want to admit it. She was the one who claimed she "didn't take the past seriously," but in reality, Lin Yunsheng was the one actually moving on.
"Is that why you came back?"
"Yeah..."
Her mind drifted back to a night the previous month. She had finished dinner alone at home and sent a video call invitation to her mother, wanting to ask how her hospital check-up had gone. She hadn't expected Chen Fang to be in the middle of a queue at the hospital. Before clicking 'accept,' her mother had pointedly switched the video to a voice call.
"Yueyue, Mom’s at the hospital right now."
"Yeah... just calling to see how things are going."
"The doctor said it’s nothing serious. I probably just stayed up too late playing mahjong lately, haha..." Her mother laughed, sounding a bit sheepish. "I’m just doing a detailed check-up to be safe."
"As long as you're okay. When you get home, I’ll—"
Before she could finish, she heard someone speaking to her mother on the other end.
"Auntie, the department said the results are out. Let's head over."
"Oh, okay, okay. Where’s Shengsheng?"
"She’s downstairs taking a call."
"Alright. Sorry for the trouble today, Haitao."
"It’s no trouble, Auntie. Shengsheng’s business is my business."
"Who’s that, Mom?"
"Oh, a friend of your sister’s." Her mother’s voice dropped, and Jinyue could almost feel her covering her mouth with her hand, tilting her head slightly as she whispered, "A very nice young man. Your sister has been seeing a lot of him lately." She let out a muffled chuckle. "I’ve got to go now, the doctor’s waiting."
"Okay." Chen Jinyue hung up.
She hadn't had much of a reaction at the time. She knew this day would eventually come. Someone always has to move on first; it was just a pity that person wasn't her.
She gave the dishes a simple rinse and put them in the dishwasher. While adding the detergent tablet, her fingers instinctively pressed into the powder, rubbing it.
She was strangely calm. She even wondered if she was finally capable of wishing Lin Yunsheng well.
The kitchen looked a mess. She put the spices back in their places and took a cloth to wipe down the counters.
*I still can't do it,* she thought. *Six years was barely enough time for me to accept the reality of it.*
She walked to the living room and pressed the start button on the robot vacuum.
*But Lin Yunsheng, it’s only been six years. Have you forgotten everything already?*
She crouched on the floor, hugging her knees, watching the robot vacuum move slowly. When it hit an obstacle, it would tentatively change direction.
*It’s not that I want to be petty, but you doing this... it makes me look so stupid, doesn't it?*
She tapped her phone screen, unlocked it, swiped a few times, then locked it again. She repeated this unconsciously, like the stereotypical behavior of a caged animal.
*I didn't demand that you love me, Lin Yunsheng. I didn't even dare hope that you’d miss me the way I can't forget you. But why did you have to leave me behind again?*
She set the phone on the floor. For some reason, tears began to fall. She asked herself honestly—she really wasn't *that* sad.
The heat in the house felt suffocating. Still in her short sleeves, she stepped out onto the balcony. Snow had recently fallen, and the drifts hadn't been cleared yet. The freezing air stung her nasal passages, leaving her gasping for breath.
A dense, seamless layer of clouds pressed down from above, obscuring the moon. It couldn't shine on her bright red nose, nor could it illuminate her trembling hands.
That night, she didn't go to bed on time. She waited until two in the morning—afternoon in China. Sitting on the sofa, she dialed her mother for another video call.
This time, it was answered quickly. The background was their home.
"Yueyue, why aren't you asleep yet?"
"Just finished some work. I wanted to ask about the final test results."
"You scared me! Calling at this hour, I thought something had happened."
"I'm fine. The results were all normal, don't worry, Mom."
"As long as you're okay. So, who was that person you mentioned this morning?" She tried to sound as natural as possible, but it was incredibly difficult.
"Oh, you mean him?" Chen Fang glanced to the side, then stood up and walked into her bedroom. Only after closing the door did she let out an irrepressible smile.
"Your sister might finally be falling in love—"
"Is that so?" Chen Jinyue picked up the glass beside her and took a sip of the alcohol hidden inside.
"I’m telling you! Look at this time I went to the hospital—it wasn't even a big deal. I could have just gone myself and waited a couple of days. But your sister went and found someone to help. She never likes to trouble others, you know that."
"Mhm."
"And that young man was so attentive! He was busy running back and forth. He said his father is a director at the hospital and that helping out was no trouble at all."
"Later, your sister got a call and had to leave for work, so he was the one who drove me back. He didn't even have to ask for the address; he drove straight to the house. Can you believe it?"
Chen Fang’s smile was so wide it practically reached her ears. To Chen Jinyue, it was an eyesore.
"Right. That’s good then."
"I’m going to sleep."
"Oh, I almost forgot what time it is over there. You should sleep. Your eyes are all swollen from staying up. Stop doing that!"
"Don't worry about me, worry about yourself. Bye."
With a *snap*, she slammed her laptop shut.
She sat in the silent night for several minutes. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but she felt the resentment in her chest burning brighter than before.
The midwinter snow that reached past her knees, the long and endless nights, the undercurrent of love and hate that drove her mad with longing yet forced her to remain restrained... what had these six years actually bought her? She threw the small mountain of used tissues into the trash.
How laughable. To wait all this time just to hear praise for your "ideal match"?
Lin Yunsheng.
***
