It turned out that I was very clever. I cried for half an hour until my roommate finally said coldly, "Stop crying."
As everyone knows, my roommate’s neck had been snapped. If he were still in that ghostly state, he wouldn't be able to speak at all; his words would leak air. How could his voice be so clear, cold, and pleasant to the ear? He must have changed back into his original handsome self. Being a straightforward, manly guy, I immediately wiped away my tears and flashed him a smile. "Brother Liu..."
My roommate gave a grunt of affirmation. Then, right before my eyes, he reached up with lightning speed and ripped his face skin off, roaring at me! His jaw was dislocated all the way down to his chest! The stench of acidic rot that sprayed out was simply indescribable! His mouth was full of fucking corpse worms, and a few even fell onto me!
Holy hell!
I flew into a rage again. I snatched up a stray piece of firewood nearby and shoved it right into his mouth. He was too shameless! I was truly cried out of frustration by him. "Liu Wukong, I’m fucking pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant! You lunatic! How can you be so mean? How could you treat me like this?!" Can you imagine the scene? I had my eyes squeezed shut, desperately beating a skinless dried corpse while he actually tried to lean in and kiss me! It was literally *The Sissy and the Beast.avi*...
After my Brother Liu finished scaring the daylights out of me, he finally reverted to his usual appearance. He caught the hands I was using to hit him. Unwilling to give up, I landed a few more blows before collapsing into his arms, sobbing. I was so pitiful! Whose husband acts like this? He scared me so bad my water almost broke!
I cried for another half hour. I cried until the heavens shook and the earth split, until I truly had no strength left. My roommate stroked my head and said, "Kiddo."
Kiddo my ass! My ass!
I scrambled up and pointed a finger at him. "Liu Wukong, you remember this! If you ever dare to turn into that again, I’m really leaving you!"
His expression soured.
"Also, I don't want the kids anymore. Get rid of them for me. I'm scared. They kill people."
He actually gave me a cold sideways glance. "Suit yourself." With that, he turned and walked away.
I was just trying to figure out what he meant by "suit yourself" when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID; it was actually my mom. My mom has very low expectations for me because she thinks that since I'm a boy, I should just run around like a dog. To her, as long as I'm not dead out there, it's fine. She rarely calls me. So, I figured the old lady was probably calling to set me up on another blind date.
I picked up, and immediately, my world turned upside down.
My mom was crying. "Ye Xiao, your dad... he’s not doing well. Come home quickly."
My dad was a soldier with a great physique. After he retired, the state provided for him, so he got free physical exams every year. This May, his check-up showed nothing was wrong. But this morning, he suddenly collapsed. They took him to the hospital, and the tests came back: leukemia. I went crazy on the spot. I ran up and dragged Liu Wukong back to a halt. "You fucking messed with my dad!"
After I said that, I was stunned. I was furious, but I didn't even have the strength to hit him. My whole body felt cold, and my fingers were stiff. I looked into his eyes, seeing the cold, unmoving ripples within them, and my heart broke. It hurt so much I couldn't speak. Yet, I actually walked past him quite calmly. I made it all the way to the bus stop, reached the school, and returned to the dorm. I sat on my bed for a while and mechanically began packing my bags. With something like this happening to my dad, I definitely had to go back. In my heart, I knew this matter would eventually be resolved—I would help Liu Wukong give birth to the things in my belly, and in exchange, he would heal my father. But I felt miserable, incredibly miserable. I wanted to go home, to get as far away from him as possible.
Just as I finished packing and headed out the door, he appeared there like a ghost. "Where are you going?"
I ignored him. I went out and hailed a taxi. I opened the door to get in, and the shrewd driver asked where I was going. I said the airport. My roommate was standing just a few steps behind me.
As soon as I finished speaking and moved to sit inside, the driver asked strangely, "Where else do you want to go? We're already at the airport."
I looked up. The scenery around us was no longer the school gate. My roommate was still standing behind me like a lingering spirit. No longer surprised by the bizarre, I shut the car door, pulled my suitcase, and walked away. I intentionally walked very fast, but the scenery around me changed even faster. By the time I finished buying a ticket, I was directly at the boarding gate. No one stopped my roommate as we boarded the plane; it was as if no one could see him. I sat in my seat, and he stood in the aisle diagonally across from me, staring at me. Other people walked right through his body. I had just heard the announcement "Please fasten your seatbelts" when the next sentence was, "We have arrived in XX City. The outside temperature is..." Everyone who had been busy putting their luggage in the overhead bins was now in the same positions, taking down the items they had just been trying to put up a second ago. I dragged my suitcase and left. This time I walked even faster, and he changed things even faster. The moment I stepped out of the arrival gate, I was standing in front of a taxi. I took one step forward and was directly at my front door. I shot him a glare, turned, and walked away.
He followed for a few steps. "Where are you going?"
I didn't speak. The old man was hospitalized; there was no one at home.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, I was standing outside my dad's hospital room. A small desk lamp was lit inside. Under the dim yellow light, the old man was asleep. The old lady opened the door and saw me. She froze for a moment before throwing herself into my arms like a young girl and starting to cry. It broke my heart. When she finished crying, she stood up, wiped her eyes, and asked how I got there so fast. Then she asked if I’d had dinner. I said I was fine. Her eyes blinked, and she caught sight of my roommate. "Who is this young man? Your classmate?"
I was sick of him. "I don't know him."
Who would have thought my roommate would take a step forward and say, "I am Ye Xiao's boyfriend. We are already married."
Holy mother of...!
Now you know you're my boyfriend? Did you know you were my boyfriend when you were fucking killing your father-in-law?! And do you realize my mom is getting on in years? Suddenly telling her that her son has a boyfriend—isn't that just pushing her to her grave! You're on a roll to kill both my dad and my mom! What, am I an orphan now? You move in and don't have a father-in-law to serve or a mother-in-law to bicker with, so you're feeling especially comfortable, right?!
To my surprise, my mom let out an "Oh." "If you're married, then he's not called a boyfriend anymore."
I quickly supported the old lady. She’s been watching too many K-dramas and her brain is muddled; look at what she’s focusing on.
I told her to go home and sleep first, asked the doctor about my dad's condition, and then moved a small cot in to keep watch for the night.
Just as I reached the door of the ward, I saw my roommate standing there like an unshakeable ghost, staring at me. I didn't want to deal with him. I lowered my head, trying to bypass him to enter the room, but he blocked my way. I went left, he blocked left; I went right, he blocked right. I was annoyed. "What do you want?"
He lowered his head and touched his forehead to mine. "I don't want to fight with you."
I don't know why, but I suddenly started crying. "I don't want to fight either. You're the most annoying person ever. I have nothing to say to you."
My roommate let out a low cry of "Don't," and grabbed my hand. "Talk to me."
"No." I gritted my teeth at the thought of my dad. "You, surnamed Liu! You're a bully! You weren't like this before we got together. Back then, it was all romance and duck blood vermicelli soup! As soon as you got me, you changed faster than flipping a page! You even dared to touch my dad! Not everything in this world can be a transaction. You're despicable!"
My roommate opened his mouth blankly, and then his eyes dimmed. "Human emotions and social ways... I don't understand them. I knew you would be angry, and that you would agree to my demands for your father's sake. But I didn't know you would be sad—so sad that you wouldn't even acknowledge me."
After a pause, he added, "I'll buy you duck blood vermicelli soup."
"I don't want to eat it!"
He tentatively touched my pinky finger again. "I just want to have children with you. I didn't mean to hurt you. How could I hurt you? You are the one I cherish most. I just felt... it was time for us to have children."
I was a bit stunned.
From the very beginning, I thought this whole thing was a conspiracy. He actually disguised himself as Ren Xing to do *that* to me, and then stubbornly refused to admit it afterward. It seemed so calculated. So, whether it was Lu Daoshi or me, we always thought he wanted to gain some benefit from this reproduction. It turns out this idiot just thought, *Oh, we're both grown men now, let's hurry up and have a bunch of kids.*
So I asked him, "Why did you pretend to be Ren Xing?"
He looked quite aggrieved. "I told you already. I thought you seemed to prefer that kind of look."
"You lunatic! Then why did you hide the day after you finished the deed? And why didn't you say anything when I asked you later?"
My roommate, a man standing 187cm tall, lowered his head. "I didn't hide. You came to the bathroom to find me, and I even happily lunged at you."
Holy shit, is he talking about when that dried corpse with the pyramid head lunged at me? If I had stayed with you looking like that, I’d be the one with a ghost in my head.
My roommate: "But you seemed very scared. I also felt very shy, so I ran away."
You didn't "shyly run away," you slithered away like a mountain of meat.
"After I came back, I knew you were expecting. I was afraid that as a boy, knowing you were... pregnant, you would be scared, so I never told you. Once you found out, you really didn't want them."
My roommate sat dejectedly on the hospital bench. His long fingers reached up, threading through his pitch-black hair to prop up his head. He wore an old shirt on his upper body and jeans that had never been washed on his lower half. He looked just like any migrant worker who had accidentally knocked up his girlfriend, whose girlfriend insisted on an abortion, and who couldn't find the money for the procedure even after searching his entire body. I was made so uncomfortable by the resentment radiating from him that I could only sigh and sit beside him, stroking his back over and over. "It was Jin Mu who said the things in my belly would finish you off. That's why I was worried. I originally wanted to discuss it with you, but then you said only your own flesh and blood could kill you. So I didn't tell you either and just contacted Ren Xing to arrange the surgery."
"But you said you really didn't want them," my roommate muttered, covering his face.
"If it's because you want to have children with me... I can reluctantly accept. But the premise is that they won't hurt you."
My roommate leaned in to press his forehead against mine. "I want to have children with you. I want to have children with you. They will absolutely not hurt me. The 'flesh and blood' I spoke of wasn't referring to them, and what Jin Mu saw wasn't them either."
"Then who was it?"
My roommate just stroked my head. "Don't worry about it. It's fine."
Me: "...Does giving birth hurt?"
My roommate: "Painless."
Me: "Will they be ugly when they're born?"
My roommate's expression became a bit subtle.
After three seconds of eye contact, he resolutely covered his face again, radiating a resentment akin to a migrant worker who accidentally knocked up his girlfriend, only for her to climb onto a rich guy and insist on an abortion. He muttered, "You don't love me."
"NONONONONONONONO~" I stroked his back.
"If that's not it, then this morning when I walked toward you, why did you suddenly turn and leave?"
I was breaking out in a cold sweat. "Because... because wasn't I going to grab a beer bottle..."
My roommate knit his brows, then knit them harder. "No. You're lying. You don't love me anymore. You even ran off with Zhang Litian."
"That was a blind grab! I grabbed the wrong person... I was trying to catch you."
"I'm angry." He was actually throwing a tantrum now. "Scaring you was just to settle the score."
"Are you a fucking loan shark?!" I couldn't help but give him a hard shove. "Calculating every single debt so clearly."
My roommate asked me seriously, "Then, if I didn't look like this, would you still love me?"
"I would—what do you want to turn into? I'm telling you, Liu Wukong, if you scare me again, I won't believe you love me either. I'm already pregnant and you still dare to scare me; when I'm old and withered, won't I be scared to death by you? Anyway, if you ever turn into something terrifying again, I'll take it as you having no affection left for me, and I'll have no choice but to sadly run away from home."
My Big Liu narrowed his eyes. Clever as he was, he realized he had fallen into a paradox: he could never change his skin again.
I'm just too awesome! This is exactly how the main wife of a big boss should act!
***
