1
Lu: May I ask your name?
Ye: Ye Xiao.
Liu: Lord of All Gods, King of the Universe, Ruler of the World, Lord of the Abyss, Guardian of the Wings of Horus, Master of Olympus, the Sigh of Wood, the Primordial...
Ye: Can we just stick with Liu Wukong?
Liu: Oh.
2
Lu: Your age?
Ye: 20.
Liu: 3.2 billion.
Ye: Are you serious?! You’re that old!
Lu: That’s not even that old. I’m a few years older than him.
Ye: Fuck!
3
Lu: Gender?
Ye: Male!
Liu: Not necessarily. During the matriarchal era, he was always fighting to be a girl. It was only during the patriarchal era that he insisted on being a boy.
Lu: So?
Liu: We’ve been a same-sex couple in every lifetime.
4
Lu: How would you describe your personality?
Ye: I think my personality is great! I’m absolutely wonderful!
Liu: It is.
Lu: Good grief.
6
Lu: When did you two first meet? And where? Actually, I know this one. Your first meeting was in the lava pond right next to my house.
7
Lu: First impression of each other?
Ye: He felt terrifying to the touch! But he actually looked really handsome! I was a little excited—source please, blessings to the uploader!
Liu: A little blob.
Ye: Fuck! We aren't even talking about the same thing anymore. This is impossible!
8
Lu: What do you like about the other person?
Ye: Hmm... He’s very powerful, yet very dorky... and he’s mine, mine, mine!
Liu: I like everything.
Lu: God, give me a break.
9
Lu: What do you dislike about the other person?
Ye: He’s too fast.
Liu: (._.)
Lu: There’s a century-old clinic for impotence and premature ejaculation just around the corner. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
11
Lu: What do you call each other?
Ye: My roommate, Liu Wukong, Big Liu, Old Liu... also "my husband," "my boyfriend"... That’s right, I’m just that proud! Hit me if you dare! Come on, hit me! ψ(｀∇´)ψ
Liu (pats his head): No one would dare hit you, little one.
Lu: My eyes are burning from all this PDA.
14
Lu: If you were to give a gift to the other, what would it be? This question is boring; one of you owns the whole world and the other is a broke loser. I won't be surprised by anything I hear.
Ye: I’d pack myself up and give myself to him!
Liu: Give it to me now, then.
Ye: (´ω｀*)ノ Wait until your birthday~
Liu: Today is my birthday. Give it to me.
Ye: (=ω=) Really?
Liu: Yes. Give it to me.
Ye: Okay! Here! (Stuffs his hand into Liu’s)
Liu (holding it): (=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)
Lu: Did a dog eat your IQs?
16
Lu: Is there anything you’re dissatisfied with? What is it usually about?
Ye: He’s too fast.
Lu: Just how sexually frustrated are you?!
Ye: You’d know if you tried doing it with him! There were times when his pants weren't even off yet!
Lu (turning around): Just how fast are you?!
Liu: (._.)
17
Lu: What is your own flaw?
Ye: My husband is too fast.
Liu: (._.)
19
Lu: What does the other person do to make you unhappy?
Ye: I can’t do anything that would make Old Liu unhappy!
Liu: (._.)
21
Lu: How far has your relationship progressed?
Ye: To the point where I can shamelessly talk to my bestie about how fast he is!
Liu: (._.)
Lu: ヽ(`Д´)ノ ┻━┻ Why am I the "bestie"?
Ren (peeking in from the door): (((o(*ﾟ▽*)o))) Big Eyes! Big Eyes, what are you doing? Want to go grab dinner?
Lu: ヽ(`Д´)ノ ┻━┻ Why am I "Big Eyes"?
Ren: Would you prefer I call you "Six Big Hairy Legs"?
Lu: ヽ(`Д´)ノ ┻━┻ Those are Light Feathers! Light Feathers!
Ren: Six Big Naked Legs.
Ye: (｀_´)ゞ Oh, for fuck's sake! Go flirt somewhere else! There’s an ex sitting right here, so stop flirting, okay?!
Liu (indifferently): Turn into oil.
Lu: ...Let’s continue. Everyone else, clear out.
22
Lu: Where was your first date?
Ye: We’ve never had a date! Every time we meet, it’s like a horror movie! If we’re talking about the "first" time for something... the hospital?
Liu: It was in that lava pond. He ate a lot of sulfur, climbed onto my back, and screamed "ahhhhhhh" at the wind.
Ye: Don't talk about things from that long ago.
Liu: Then it was the hospital.
Lu: You’re such a pushover, Lord God.
Liu: I’m retired.
Lu: Retiring for the sake of a little sissy isn't exactly a glorious achievement.
Liu (indifferently): Turn into oil.
23
Lu: What was the atmosphere like then?
Ye: It was terrifying! I was scared witless! Luckily Old Liu was there. I was basically scared into being gay! (つД`)ノ
Liu (smiling): I heard his thoughts. He said that being gay with me was fine, as long as I didn't eat him.
Ye: Fuck! You knew that too!
Liu Wukong suddenly did something very uncharacteristic! He leaned over and nipped Ye Xiao’s cheek!
Liu: Eaten.
Lu: Enough. It’s not like you haven't swallowed him whole before, only to act like your life was ending until you let him out again.
24
Lu: How far did things progress then?
Liu: A hug!
Lu: Why are you suddenly so excited?
Liu: (////)
Ye (sarcastically): Even now, that’s still the extent of it.
Liu: (._.)
Lu: I can really feel the massive impact that a lack of sexual harmony has on a couple's relationship.
25
Lu: Where are your frequent date spots?
Ye: Various terrifying places! No, I should say that wherever we go, that place becomes terrifying.
Liu: we travel the world often.
Ye: No we don't! Even later on, we just stayed in the seaside villa and gave birth to moths~
27
Lu: Who confessed first?
Liu: It’s me every single time. Even if he confesses first, he’s just playing around.
Ye: Don't make it sound so tragic... Here, for you. (Stuffs his hand into Liu Wukong’s palm)
Liu (holding it): (=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)
Lu: Did a dog eat your IQs?!
28
Lu: How much do you like each other?
Ye: ...A "save the world" kind of like.
Liu: A "create the world" kind of like.
Lu: Heh, we’re this far into the questions and you finally remember you’re the Lord God and the Lord God’s spouse.
29
Lu: Do you love each other? Obviously.
30
Lu: What can the other person say that makes you feel helpless?
Ye: "Little one," all kinds of sweet talk, and when he stares at you seriously and repeats things twice in that super gentle voice~
Liu: When he cries and throws a tantrum.
Ye: Let me add one for you!
Liu: Eh?
Ye: "Fast!"
Liu: (._.)
31
Lu: What would you do if you suspected the other person was having an affair?
Ye: Old Liu wouldn't! If Old Liu ever changed his mind, the world would definitely end!
Liu: He is mine. No one can touch him. If anyone dares, I will show them the most terrifying thing in this world.
Ren: _(:з」∠)_ Turning into oil is truly terrifying! Don't try it! It’s high temperature and high pressure where you can't live and can't die!
32
Lu: Could you forgive the other person for having an affair?
Liu: No!
Lu: Don't get so worked up...
Liu: I won't!
Ye: I’m yours, I’m yours. Don't lose your temper.
Because Liu was in a bad mood, he pulled Ye Xiao away. They took a thirty-minute break, just standing in the hallway hugging. Ren Xing reminded Lu Daoshi not to provoke Liu’s sensitive nerves anymore. Now that Liu had finally landed his wife and achieved his ultimate goal, he was incredibly protective and paranoid.
35
Lu: What is the other person's sexiest expression?
Ye: When he stares at me seriously and says things twice! And when he’s coaxing me, he’s so gentle and patient~ That expression of being clearly powerful yet totally at a loss... ah, I love it~
Liu: It’s all good.
Ye: You have no idea what "sexy" even means, do you?! Being naked is sexier than being clothed.
Lu: That’s not necessarily true...
Ye: Shut up! Don't interrupt me while I’m training my husband!
36
Lu: When you’re together, what makes your heart race the most?
Ye: When he beats up all the monsters! When he wants to destroy the world because he’s jealous! Ahhh, so many things~ The psychological gap is just too huge, it feels amazing!
Liu: When he is by my side.
Ye: Liu Wukong, I have to call you out on this. You always say these unbearable things... How am I supposed to handle it, huh?!
Lu: Are you a masochist, Ye Xiao? Are you?
Ye: Hit me if you dare! Come on, hit me~
Lu (serious face): Old Liu, are you just going to watch this?
Liu: He’s still young. Be a bit more patient with him.
Ye: Haha, hahahaha!
38
Lu: When do you feel the happiest?
Liu: Every moment I spend with him is happy.
Ye: Making love.
Liu: (._.)
39
Lu: Do you ever fight?
Liu: Often. He even tries to hit me.
Ye: I do not! I'll kill you!
Liu: See?
Lu: No need to hide it. I often see you chasing him across half the Pacific Ocean. After fighting for ages, you forget why you were even hitting him and go home to eat sulfur.
Liu: That’s how it is.
Ye: You two are ganging up on me!
Liu (turning his head): I can criticize him, but you dare to?
Ye: Get him!
Lu: You two, settle down, settle down...
40
Lu: What do you fight about?
Ye (sighing): It’s too heavy. I don't want to talk about it.
Liu: He’s forgetful.
Ye: Fuck! You’re fast!
Lu: I feel like your golden years aren't going to be very happy.
41
Lu: How do you make up afterwards?
Liu: We have a lovely meal of sulfur together, then he climbs onto my back and falls asleep in the sun.
Ye: Suddenly I feel so happy...
Liu: Climb onto my back, then.
Lu Daoshi quickly stopped Liu from lying down to let Ye Xiao ride him.
42
Lu: Do you want to be lovers in your next reincarnation?
Liu: We always have been.
Ye: Yes! We’ll always be together~
Liu: If he tries to run away, I’ll lock him up.
Ye: Stop saying things like that so calmly! I don't want to stay behind the mirror again!
Liu: There, there, don't be upset.
43
Lu: When do you feel loved?
Ye: Every single second!
Liu: (._.)
Ye: Don't be sad. I’ll love you properly from now on and I won't forget~
Liu: Okay. When you saved me, I actually knew. So, I know.
The two of them hugged, faces pressed together.
44
Lu: How do you express your love?
Liu: By being good to him, by giving. But sometimes I want to receive, too.
Ye: I... I act cute.
Lu: You don't act cute, you act like a brat. Does acting cute put food on the table?
Liu (indifferently): I provide the food.
Ye: (´ω｀) Hit me~ Come on, hit me~
45
Lu: When do you feel like "he doesn't love me anymore"?
Liu: (._.)
Ye: Stop asking, Old Liu is about to cry...
Lu: What about you?
Ye: Do you even have to ask! In bed!
Liu: (._.)
47
Lu: Are there secrets between you?
Liu: Only things that simply cannot be said.
Ye: He can even read my thoughts sometimes... sigh.
Liu: Only some of them. Have you hidden anything else from me?
Ye: Sigh. Old Liu, actually, I kind of want to top you.
Liu: Keep hiding that from me.
Ye: Oh.
48
Lu: Where does your sense of inferiority come from?
Liu: I have loved him for so long that I am beyond help, but he...
Ye: I’m beyond help too! Can you stop being sad?
Liu: (._.)
Ye: But Liu Wukong, have you never felt inferior about *that*? (*´ω｀)╰ひ╯
Liu: (._.)
49
Lu: Is your relationship public or a secret?
Lu: Fuck, the whole world knows.
50
Lu: Do you think your love can last forever?
Liu: Yes.
Ye: If Old Liu says it can, then it can~
