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The Human Behind the God

Chapter 80

The conversation that night remained a secret. Like a massive boulder dropped into the depths of Pei Yunting’s heart, it stirred up heaven-shaking waves before sinking to the bottom, permanently sealed away. He confined himself to his room for an entire day and night. No one knew what kind of internal struggle he endured during that time. When he emerged the following day, he remained the same cold and handsome Young Master Yunting in the eyes of the world. And yet, something had fundamentally changed. "Why aren't you wearing black today?" Ye Zhao leaned lazily against the railing, asking the man opposite him with a casual air. Dressed in a frost-white robe with a straight collar, Pei Yunting looked as cold as pure snow on a high mountain, possessing the grace of a bright moon. Compared to the past, white clearly suited him much better. Holding a teacup in one hand, his long lashes lowered slightly as he gazed at the tea within. He replied succinctly, "I grew tired of it. I am weary." "Pfft—" Ye Zhao chuckled, saying leisurely, "You should have cast off those shackles long ago. How much better is it to be yourself? Why live for the sake of others?" Ye Zhao’s black-and-white folding fan was half-open, concealing his smiling lips and revealing only his narrow, mirthful eyes, which seemed to hold a scattering of starlight. Pei Yunting did not answer, for he knew Ye Zhao was right. For all those years, he had lived his life as a mere imitation of Tianshu. Was it exhausting? Of course it was. Especially when he discovered that everything he had been obsessed with was unnecessary and meaningless. Beyond the immense sense of loss, irony, and absurdity, there followed a wave of relief and lightness. Indeed, who wouldn't want to be themselves? Pei Yunting fell silent for a moment, then turned his head to look at the speaker, asking in return, "And what about you? When will you return to being your true self?" ? Ye Zhao’s eyes flickered with confusion, but the others present understood the implication behind those words. The name 'Tianshu' resurfaced in their minds. Ye Zhao was baffled. "Me? Your question truly leaves me at a loss. I have always been living my own life. No one has ever forced me to chase after someone else's shadow." "Do you mean to say you have no desire to become someone like Tianshu?" Pei Yunting asked. The gazes of the group involuntarily shifted toward the man being questioned. Ye Zhao waved his folding fan with utter indifference. His gaze drifted toward the blue sky and white clouds above, appearing to be in deep thought or perhaps simply spacing out. After a few breaths, he murmured softly, "Someone like Tianshu?" His tone was laced with obvious doubt. He turned to glance at the others, then resumed staring blankly at the slow-moving clouds. "What kind of person was Tianshu? No... in your eyes, he can no longer be considered a mere 'person,' can he?" "He is a god—a god placed upon an altar by the people of this world." "He was so powerful as to be peerless, his name sung by countless people. He is like an omnipotent deity who satisfies every imagination of the world, someone everyone scrambles to follow." A gentle breeze blew past, carrying Ye Zhao’s soft voice into the distance. It rang in everyone’s ears, devoid of joy or sorrow, yet inexplicably evoking a sense of vastness and antiquity. Ye Zhao reached up slightly, tucking a stray lock of hair disturbed by the wind behind his ear. "In the eyes of Eunuch Babao, he was a hero. In the eyes of the veteran officials at court, he was a pillar of support. In the eyes of His Majesty, he was a benefactor who served the state. To Shian and Old Man Wei, he was perhaps the most dazzling existence they encountered in their youth. In the hearts of the common people, he was both the savior who turned the tides of war and a nightmare that inspired terror." "That is the Tianshu in all of your eyes. But everyone seems to have forgotten that Tianshu was a human being. He had the emotions a human should have." "But what did he like? What did he dislike? Did he have things he wanted to do, places he wanted to go, or someone he wanted to love? What was his greatest joy? When was his saddest moment?" Question after question was thrown out, leaving only silence in their wake. Ye Zhao lowered his eyelids, his gaze somewhat dazed. "The world does not care about these things. They only see Tianshu standing upon that high altar, so they naturally crown him with the name of a god. Perhaps, after standing on that altar for so long, even he himself forgot... that he was actually a human. Only when he falls from that altar will he cease to be a god in the hearts of the people and become nothing more than a lump of mud." "I saw his high tower rise, I saw his tower crumble..." After a long pause, Ye Zhao sighed deeply, returning from his thoughts. He drew out his words with a lingering, disinterested tone. "It’s meaningless... I’d rather live the carefree life of a dandy." Being a 'salted fish' was wonderful—living happily and without worry every day, never having to fret over anything. What was the point of all that fleeting glory? Eventually, frost and snow would cover one's head, and in the end, he would still be alone. After a long while, Pei Yunting’s voice finally broke the silence. "So, you would rather choose to be a dandy than a hero revered by ten thousand people?" His voice grew strangely soft on the final word. After hearing Ye Zhao’s speech, it was hard not to feel a sense of complexity in one's heart. Ye Zhao turned back, smiling with a roguish air. "To be honest, what’s so bad about being a dandy? I haven't stolen or robbed, nor have I done anything wicked. I live my life honestly and mind my own business. Isn't that good?" Xie Yusong nodded and said seriously, "It is indeed not bad. Most people in the world live their lives this way." "Right!" Seeing someone agree with him, Ye Zhao’s mood brightened. "But if the person doing this is you, it becomes difficult for others to accept. It is also... a great pity," Su Jinzhou suddenly spoke. His cold, clear phoenix eyes were fixed intently on the man before him. Ye Zhao wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but he felt Su Jinzhou’s expression was even more solemn than usual. Upon hearing this, a question mark practically appeared over Ye Zhao’s head. "Eh? A pity?" And difficult to accept?? Why was it difficult to accept? "I’ve been a dandy for over a decade. What is there to find unacceptable or pitiful?" Ye Zhao laughed in spite of himself, joking, "Could it be that you’ve suddenly discovered I’m some kind of genius and feel it’s a waste for me to be buried in obscurity?" It had to be said that these words actually brushed against the truth. Su Jinzhou looked at the laughing man. There was no smile on his face; he remained silent, offering only a tacit admission. Pei Shian stepped in at the right moment, subtly diffusing the atmosphere before it fell into stagnant silence. "If not for our time together recently, we wouldn't have discovered your talent for multitasking, nor your keen observation and calm composure. If you wished, you could completely shed your past reputation and have a much better future." Ye Zhao unhurriedly tapped his palm with his folding fan, taking his time before giving an ambiguous answer. "Perhaps..." "But what is a 'better future'? Entering the court as an official and rising rapidly through the ranks? Having everyone praise my name whenever I'm mentioned?" Just like the three men sitting here—Pei Yunting and the others. Ye Zhao suddenly burst out laughing, mocking himself. "The pity is, I was born with the nature of a tortoise. Jiang Ziqi wasn't wrong about that." The person in question, who had been feeling quite conflicted, was suddenly called out. Jiang Ziqi froze for a moment before remembering that he had indeed said such a thing. "Sigh, true. How could someone like you be Master Tianshu?" Jiang Ziqi accidentally spoke his inner thoughts aloud. The moment the words left his mouth, he realized he had messed up and reflexively covered his mouth. The other four also paused, their gazes sweeping over Jiang Ziqi before settling on Ye Zhao. Under their tense scrutiny, Ye Zhao first looked stunned, then his face filled with bewilderment. "Why are you covering your mouth? It’s not like I haven't heard those rumors. What is there to hide?" "I just thought you didn't like hearing it!" Jiang Ziqi quickly followed Ye Zhao’s logic to explain, his heart filled with tension and guilt. Fortunately, Ye Zhao happened to look down to pour some tea and didn't pay further attention to his reaction, allowing the excuse to pass. By the time Ye Zhao looked up again, Jiang Ziqi’s expression showed nothing amiss. Instead, he added in agreement, "Indeed, I don't know what the people spreading those rumors are thinking. They certainly have wild imaginations!" Whether it was that he was the reincarnation of Tianshu, or that Tianshu’s soul was possessing him—Ye Zhao had heard at least three different versions. No one else joined the conversation. Some lowered their heads in silence, while others drifted off in thought. Jiang Ziqi occasionally stole glances at Ye Zhao. After a pause, he asked in a weak voice, "But... do you really not want to be Lord Tianshu?" Hmm? Ye Zhao blinked, stared at Jiang Ziqi for a moment, and then broke into a smile. He asked in return, "Do you really wish for me to become him?" "No!" Jiang Ziqi grew excited for a moment, then looked around and calmed down. He pursed his lips, thinking before continuing, "Of course not. Although Lord Tianshu seemed very powerful and glorious, I still hope you can just be Ye Zhao. At least... at least you can live more happily than he did." The group paused. Ye Zhao looked down at the folding fan in his hand. "That goes without saying. I will always be myself." He would not become anyone else, and no one else would become him. Pei Shian lowered his eyes. The person sitting before him was exactly the same as years ago, yet he possessed a bit more tranquility and vitality than back then. Ye Zhao and Tianshu were, after all, different. Speaking of that man, a long-held question resurfaced in Ye Zhao’s mind. He asked curiously, "The name 'Tianshu' sounds like a pseudonym. Shian, do you know his true identity?" Pei Shian paused and looked up at Ye Zhao. "I do not." "You never asked him?" Ye Zhao inquired. "I did." Since he had asked and still didn't know, it meant the other party hadn't told him. Ye Zhao sighed. "Then what did he say?" Pei Shian hesitated slightly before saying, "Game King." His tone was a mix of complexity and confusion. Then he added, "Pioneer." Huh?! Ye Zhao was stunned the moment he heard those first two words. Taken separately, the meanings were easy to understand, but combined within this time and environment, they left him utterly bewildered. "What... does that mean?" Ye Zhao asked. Pei Shian withdrew his gaze from Ye Zhao. "I do not know either." That question could only be answered by the man himself from all those years ago. However, he had clearly underestimated the wisdom and investigative spirit of the Ye Zhao sitting before him. After closing his eyes in deep thought for a long time, Ye Zhao’s expression suddenly became serious and solemn. "Shian, I have something to say, though I don't know if I should." Usually, when someone says this, they aren't seeking permission but are warning the listener to prepare themselves—what follows might not be pleasant to hear. "Speak." Ye Zhao said hesitantly, "I feel that Tianshu... might not be as wonderful as you all imagine him to be." Contrary to what Ye Zhao expected, the faces of those present showed no signs of anger or dissatisfaction. Instead, they looked curious. "Oh? Why is that?" Ye Zhao hesitated for a second, wondering if he should dismantle the legend's pedestal. In the end, he offered a subtle hint. "Have you ever thought about why Tianshu helped the State of Wei?" Pei Shian had considered this question before and had arrived at an optimal answer based on Tianshu’s words and deeds. "He hoped the people of Wei would be spared the suffering of war, live in peace, and enjoy prosperity." But seeing as Ye Zhao raised the question, he clearly didn't agree with this widely accepted answer. Thus, Pei Shian asked, "Do you have a different opinion? There is no harm in sharing it." Seeing the other man’s posture—as if they were merely having a casual chat—Ye Zhao hesitated briefly before honestly speaking his mind. "I actually don't think that was it." The 'Great Boss' was a modern person. He appeared exactly when Wei was on the brink of destruction. Where would he have found the time to develop such deep patriotism for Wei? If one tried to fit the persona of a 'Holy Father' seeking to save the suffering masses onto him, Ye Zhao felt it was unrealistic. It was simply too jarring. However, he couldn't explain Tianshu’s true nature to the others. Thus, he analyzed carefully, "First, Tianshu had the ability to turn the tide when the enemy armies were almost at the capital, and he could suppress the imperial court. Why didn't he appear sooner? Second, if it were truly for the good of the people, I feel that in the situation back then, it would have been better to help the other two nations conquer Wei more quickly." After all, the Emperor of Wei at the time was universally recognized as incompetent and useless. The entire country was in misery, and the court was a foul mess. Why would he bother propping up such a royal family? Ye Zhao was right. If it were truly for the sake of the people, it would have been better to end that version of Wei as quickly as possible. At most, the national surname would change, but the lives of the people would go on. He believed Tianshu must have understood this logic. Therefore, his choice to exert such effort to save the country was worth pondering. "So, what you mean is...?" Xie Yusong murmured enigmatically. A thought flashed through his eyes as he followed Ye Zhao’s logic to wonder what Tianshu’s goal actually was. "If it wasn't out of sentiment, it could only be for something else," Ye Zhao judged, reaching a conclusion. "He didn't want fame, profit, or power. He seemed to seek nothing. But from his appearance to his disappearance, he achieved only one result—he helped Wei turn defeat into victory and made the country rich and strong!" "That was his purpose. To put it another way, that is what he wanted!" Ye Zhao felt he had touched upon the truth. Although Xie Yusong and the others didn't quite understand what he meant by 'sentiment,' they grasped the core of his argument. Su Jinzhou raised a timely question, "Yes, that makes sense. But this is no different from the answer Master Pei gave earlier." "No, no, no. There is still a difference." Ye Zhao told him with a mysterious smile, "Though the result is the same, the importance lies in the fact that the motive for doing it is different." Hearing this, the group still didn't quite understand Ye Zhao’s meaning. Pei Yunting frowned. "So, what do you think it was?" What was it that made Tianshu stand up and help the State of Wei all those years ago? ***

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