It rained that weekend. I headed to the old gym, where Yi Taitai came every week for his fencing lessons, rain or shine. It seemed he had truly stepped out from the shadows of his past; even the downpour couldn't dampen his sunny, upward outlook on life. I was genuinely happy for him, and I tried to convince myself that perhaps one day, Ling Xiao would also be able to resolve the knots in his heart.
While acting as Yi Taitai’s sparring partner, I asked him, "Do you really like fencing now?"
"I do!" Yi Taitai wiped away a bead of sweat. He had recently mastered a unique set of moves he called the 'Nine Yin White Bone Sword.' "Exercise is great. It makes you happy. Besides, I’m actually preparing myself for my next romance~"
I remembered Ling Xiao saying he had witnessed too many joys and sorrows in bars. To a passerby like him, the emotions on display probably looked like a play; no matter how much passion or obsession existed in the moment, the show ended once the breakup happened. After the actors took off their makeup, would they still yearn for the characters they once played?
Sometimes I thought this was a good thing. Humans are forgetful as a means of self-protection, and I didn't want someone like Yi Taitai to waste his life pining over one person. But what about Ling Xiao? He was the type to dig his heels in, the type who would spend his entire life playing a single role. If he fell for someone unworthy, he would follow that script to the bitter end, trapped in the character forever. So, the best solution for him was to never love anyone at all.
It made sense.
Yi Taitai took a sip of water and fell silent for a moment. "...Qiao Mai, actually, I wasn't the one who brought you back to the dorm that day."
I turned to look at him in shock.
"You’re over six feet tall; how could I possibly carry you? You were so drunk you were about to start singing 'Conquered' at the top of your lungs, so I called Ling Xiao..."
"How did you get his number?"
"I used your phone."
I nearly jumped out of my chair in fright. So the silhouette I saw on the glass that day wasn't a hallucination—Ling Xiao really had come?!
"He told me not to tell you," Yi Taitai said. "But you and I are on the same team. Do you remember what you said when you were acting like a drunken fool?"
"Wait, I acted like a drunken fool?"
Yi Taitai rolled his eyes at me. "Did you think you were some aesthetic lead in a music video? Anyway, Ling Xiao heard everything."
I was paralyzed with fear. "What did I say? Did I say I wanted to... top him or something?"
"It was a hundred times more serious than that," Yi Taitai said with a smirk.
I covered my face, wishing for the earth to swallow me whole. Did I actually describe the positions I wanted?!
"Mai-zi, though it might be a bit unscrupulous to say this, Ling Xiao is softer-hearted than I imagined. He was still at his part-time job when I called, but he rushed over immediately. I think if you really want to win him over, you can use that soft heart of his to your advantage."
"That sounds kind of despicable..."
I hadn't told Yi Taitai the details about He Ming, only a rough outline. I figured Ling Xiao’s impenetrable nature was a result of his past experiences, so Yi Taitai didn't truly understand the gravity of the situation. He probably thought Ling Xiao was just going through a phase of "edgy youth" syndrome that could be fixed with a little push...
***
With the selections imminent, Coach Hu did something unprecedented: he didn't start training immediately. He had us line up in front of the banner. I thought it was just the usual routine—a minor lecture every three days, a major one every five—but today, he didn't scold us at all. Instead, he asked each of us to talk about our "original spark" for fencing.
Old Seven said he originally wanted to learn Japanese Kendo like in the anime he watched, but his dad tricked him into a fencing hall instead. He was reluctant at first, but he slowly grew to love it. After finishing, he clicked his tongue in relief. "Good thing my old man didn't let me learn Kendo..."
Gao Da-pang said he was very fat as a kid and envied how tall and handsome fencers were, and how they made girls swoon. That was why he insisted on learning. He didn't expect that after starting, he’d stop caring about being tall and handsome and start dreaming of joining the national team and winning gold.
Zhang Ting said it was because of an interest group in elementary school. No one chose the unpopular fencing club, so the teacher forcibly assigned him to it. At first, he was resentful like Old Seven, but now he was especially grateful to that teacher. "None of the students who chose other clubs stuck with it, but I did."
When it was my turn, the whole team groaned. Old Seven said, "Does he even need to say it? He tells everyone he meets. I can practically recite it for him."
Even if you say that, I’m still going to say it! I said it was because of Zorro, the great Akiliev, and... someone whose name I didn't want to mention. As a kid, I was obsessed with the Zorro cartoons, but I never took that world seriously until I accidentally flipped to the sports channel one day. I realized that the world of clashing blades was real, and I thought it was incredibly cool, incredibly lovable, and incredibly aspirational...
Coach Hu nodded and cut off my "incredibly" streak, walking over to Ling Xiao. "Your turn."
I watched Ling Xiao. Would he say that name?
"It was because of my mentor. He said I could cultivate a hobby. I asked him why I should bother, and he said because it might turn into a dream, and that would be one of the most beautiful things in the world."
The training hall fell into a dead silence.
I wondered what Ling Xiao was feeling at this moment, thinking of He Ming and knowing he was standing exactly where He Ming once stood.
Coach Hu looked up at the banner hanging from the ceiling.
"No matter what catalyst brought you here, everyone should be grateful. This is the place closest to your dreams. So, no matter what happens next, do not be sad, do not be resentful. Remember this feeling."
***
At noon, I went to the woods to feed the cats, hoping those feline masters would let me rub their bellies and cheer me up. To my surprise, I ran into someone unexpected at the cat shelter.
The makeshift shelter made of cardboard boxes and old cotton coats was gone. In the middle of the clearing stood two proper cat houses. A tall, handsome man was just putting the roof on one. After securing it, he stood up and spoke to Granny Zhao, who was grinning from ear to ear.
Li Rui? What was he doing here?
Li Rui turned and saw me, greeting me with a smile. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he came to talk to Coach Hu about a sponsorship deal and brought the houses and cat food along the way. I felt like there was something off about that answer, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
Coach Hu called him, and Li Rui said his goodbyes to Granny Zhao. I felt like Granny Zhao was more enthusiastic toward Li Rui than she was toward me, which made me a bit jealous. "Granny, how do you know him?"
Granny Zhao smiled and said, "I've known him for a long time. He used to come here often with that other young man to feed the cats..."
Wait. The young man who used to help Granny Zhao feed the cats was He Ming. That meant Li Rui—
A cold sweat suddenly broke out over me. Li Rui was thirty years old, from a powerful family, involved in a political marriage, and had returned from studying in America... everything fit! There was no mistake; Li Rui was the man who had abandoned He Ming and flown away!
This explained why Li Rui knew Ling Xiao, and why Ling Xiao disliked Li Rui so much!
But why? Ling Xiao should have loathed this man to his core. Why was he getting close to Li Rui’s sister?
A terrifying thought rose in my mind. I didn't even have time to rub a cat's belly before I went sprinting back to the dorm.
I could see that Li Rui doted on Li Xin, granting her every whim. Ling Xiao must have seen it too. Was he doing this to get revenge on Li Rui? But Li Xin was innocent!
No, that wasn't the Ling Xiao I knew!
***
I couldn't find Ling Xiao in the dorm. Zhang Ting said he had gone out, and he didn't pick up his phone. I went to the training hall, but instead of Ling Xiao, I found Coach Hu. He was slowly mopping the floor by himself, his head down as if he were deep in thought. I stood at the door for a good while before he noticed me.
"Qiao Mai?" The old guy looked at me with surprise. "Something wrong? If not, help me mop."
Damn it, he didn't even give me a chance to answer! Why even ask!
Since Coach Hu had spoken, I had no choice but to grab a mop, no matter how reluctant I was. Mopping with Coach Hu felt like the old fear of accidentally walking the same way home as my homeroom teacher after school.
I couldn't ask Ling Xiao directly, but since He Ming had been in the national team, maybe Coach Hu knew something. When our mops happened to cross, I gathered my courage to strike up a conversation with the "homeroom teacher." "Weren't you talking to President Li about the sponsorship? That was fast."
"Just signing a name. It’s not like I’m practicing calligraphy."
I cleared my throat. "Coach Hu, did you know He Ming?"
Coach Hu stopped mopping and looked up at me. After a moment, he lowered his head helplessly. "He told you everything, didn't he..." The mop scrubbed back and forth a few times before he suddenly frowned suspiciously. "No, Ling Xiao wouldn't tell you these things." He looked up and glared at me. "You brat, don't try to play me!"
Damn, Coach Hu’s IQ was actually pretty high! I watched him huffily pushing the mop across the hall and decided to use a bit of reverse psychology. "I just overheard it. The national team was really unfair, kicking him out just because he came out..."
Before I could finish, Coach Hu’s mop hit the floor with a loud *thud*, making me jump.
"Who told you that?! Is Coach Liang that kind of person?!"
Coach Liang Zhonghui was the head coach of the national team back then and Coach Hu’s mentor. I could understand why he was so incensed. I carefully held my mop upright in front of me, guarding against him coming over to hit me.
Coach Hu took a breath. "It’s true that He Ming’s situation caused a huge stir back then. It sparked a lot of controversy within the team and the Fencing Association. But Coach Liang valued talent above all else. He stood his ground against the pressure from above to protect He Ming. He even signed a 'military order'—if He Ming stayed, he had to guarantee an Olympic gold in the individual sabre and help the team win the gold as well. Otherwise, not only would He Ming have to leave, but Coach Liang would have to resign too."
By this point, Coach Hu was too tired to be angry. I could only imagine the immense pressure. "But He Ming never appeared on the international stage?"
My eyes grew hot as I listened. The world of sports is supposed to be so clean; every athlete pours their youth into the struggle. Why did those people with power and money have to reach their hands in here?!
"After that, I heard He Ming flew to America to find that man. He claimed he had leave, but he never actually cleared it with Coach Liang. Coach Liang lied for him, just hoping he would come back." Coach Hu let out a long, heavy sigh. "Such a talent, just gone. I heard it was a traffic accident. Ling Xiao wasn't even fifteen then."
He lowered his head again to continue mopping. The sound of the old mop scraping against the floor grated on my heart; it was suffocatingly oppressive. He Ming had done nothing wrong, yet the worst possible things had happened to him.
"That man was Li Rui, wasn't he?" I said.
Coach Hu’s back stiffened for a second, and he nodded. "I know what you’re thinking. That motion capture analysis equipment we use—we couldn't afford it without Lilong’s sponsorship. Our opponents are using the most advanced tech in the world. It’s not just an era of individual ability and coaching anymore; it’s an era of technology. Besides... he probably wants to make amends."
I stood in the center of the vast, empty training hall, feeling as if I could sense He Ming’s isolation and helplessness from back then. I stared at Coach Hu’s hunched back, feeling only irony. "...What is there left to amend?"
"Li Rui said He Ming had two dreams. One was to stand on the Olympic podium himself. The other was that after he retired," Coach Hu turned back to me, "he could watch Ling Xiao stand on that Olympic podium."
