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The Choice to Stay

Chapter 106

The dilapidated chimney of Guoran Ju was puffing white smoke again, and half the residents of Dingweng Village flocked toward it the moment they saw. Though Shopkeeper Qin of Guoran Ju looked unremarkable, she did possess genuine skill. No matter how strange or minor the ailment, it usually took no more than two or three doses of her medicine to clear it up. Her only flaw was her extreme stinginess; she kept track of every single copper coin with agonizing precision. Before leaving, Dou Wuniang reluctantly set down a few coppers. She rubbed the paper medicinal packet in her hand, glancing back into the courtyard with a lingering look. What a pity that handsome younger brother of the Qin family wasn't around. If he were, she might have parted with her money more cheerfully. By the time Qin Jiuye saw off the last guest, the sun had already sunk more than halfway below the horizon. She ladled the last bit of water from the vat, carrying the bucket—which only had a shallow layer at the bottom—to the brushwood gate. She soaked a tattered rag and began to wipe down the wooden sign of Guoran Ju, stroke by stroke. After only a few days of neglect, the wooden sign had gathered quite a bit of dust and mud. After just a few wipes, the water in the bucket at her feet turned into a muddy slurry. No matter how she rinsed the rag, every swipe across the wood felt like she was just mixing more mud, and she couldn't get it clean. Even at a slow pace, a trip from Guoran Ju to the riverbank outside the village to fetch water should only take half an hour. That lazy bones Jinbao must be loitering outside again while fetching water. He had surely spent the afternoon slacking off. For a pharmacy, polishing the signboard was no different from a military regiment reorganizing its banners. It wasn't just for the sake of cleanliness; it was a way to wash away the past and invite good fortune. She didn't want to delay such a task until tomorrow. Qin Jiuye sighed. Just as she was about to turn back to get a larger bucket and fetch the water herself, she heard the faint honk of a goose coming from the village entrance. She looked up and saw two figures appearing on the winding dirt road at the edge of the sky. The figures were one tall and one short, walking one after the other, silhouetted against the lingering glow of the setting sun as they crossed the fields. The tall youth carried two bundles of fresh firewood, a wood-cutting hatchet tucked into his waist. His gait was steady and light. Compared to him, the shorter figure carrying the water moved like a toddler just learning to walk, swaying with every step and pausing to pant for breath every three. Whenever the shorter one looked up and saw the tall youth pulling ahead, he would grit his teeth and scramble to catch up. On the downhill slope, his own legs nearly tripped him into a face-plant, and half the water in his two wooden buckets splashed out. Finally, the two figures appeared at the end of the picket fence. They seemed to spot her; the shorter one waved and walked toward her without stopping, while the taller one slowed his pace, following behind with somewhat hesitant movements. Jinbao held his breath until he reached the brushwood gate. His back was already trembling slightly, but he forced himself to stay upright, flashing Qin Jiuye a triumphant grin. "I walked a bit fast; that kid couldn't even keep up." Qin Jiuye suppressed the urge to laugh, her gaze falling on the grass-woven creel hanging from his waist. Seeing her face remain stern, Jinbao wiggled his hips, gesturing for her to look at the fish basket stuck against his backside. "Caught these in the river just now. All my own handiwork." He was soaked from head to toe, water dripping from the ends of his hair—clearly not just from sweat. He had spent the entire afternoon fumbling about, turning himself into a drowned rat, only to catch four or five tiny fish no thicker than a finger. This "achievement" would likely be looked down upon even by the village children, not to mention he had delayed half a day's business at Guoran Ju for these measly fish. Yet, for some reason, Qin Jiuye couldn't bring herself to scold him. Children from wealthy families were driven in carriages to the distant suburbs to enjoy the cool air, with countless ways to pass the summer that people like her had never even heard of. But for children like her and Jinbao, finding a small creek to play in the water and catch fish was already the greatest joy of the midsummer season. Finding joy in hardship was merely the bit of sweetness that decorated the lives of ordinary people. She truly didn't have the heart to wipe it away. Qin Jiuye maintained her serious expression and quickly waved her hand, hurrying the useless apprentice inside, fearing that if she waited any longer, his back might actually "snap" right in front of her. Jinbao, completely oblivious to his shopkeeper's internal shift, huffed and puffed his way into the courtyard. A series of clatters and bangs echoed from within the gate—it was unclear how many pots and pans the water-carrying apprentice had knocked over—and at that moment, the youth on the dirt road finally drew near. His left hand reached into his waistband, but after a moment, he pulled it back out, as if he had merely been scratching an itch. Qin Jiuye said nothing, waiting until he stood before her before she moved. She reached out, took the two bundles of fresh firewood from his shoulders, and carried them into the yard. With just that one movement, the youth sensed something instantly. He didn't resist, letting her take over the chore, but a clear shift in emotion appeared deep within his eyes. Previously, when he worked at Guoran Ju, she would simply and efficiently tell him what to do; she never interfered like this. Because of that, he had never felt the crisis of being kicked out. He was needed; as long as there was work for him to do in Guoran Ju, he had a reason to stay. But now, she seemed to intend otherwise. The usually diligent youth stood there in silence. Seeing this, Qin Jiuye's mind somehow flashed to the cleaned furnace and the scrubbed-clean medicine jars. If someone's ability to read others had reached such a transcendent level, then no social nuance could be hidden from his eyes. "You're back?" She offered a stiff, polite greeting. Hearing this, Li Qiao's lips pressed tighter together. "Was Sister waiting for me?" Waiting for him for what? To tell him personally that she had decided to take a different path with that damned Lord of Broken Jade? When he was still a dozen paces away, he had seen that half-piece of jade pendant hanging from her waist at a glance. Of course he recognized that jade, and he understood why it was there. The thing he feared had happened after all. In the end, she had made a choice that placed her on a different side from him. Qin Jiuye naturally heard the suppressed emotion in his tone. Some things didn't need to be said aloud for the other person to understand. She had intentionally left that half-pendant at her waist; she didn't believe that with the youth's keen sensitivity, he would fail to grasp its meaning. And so she stood there waiting for him—waiting for him to be the first to speak of leaving. Or perhaps he would say nothing, and when the time came, he would naturally depart. Ten days. At most, there were only ten days left. In ten days, the three-month term would be up, and he could leave this place rightfully, without any lingering ties. She realized that at some point, she had begun to remember the remaining days with such startling clarity. She told herself she couldn't wait to send this "God of Plagues" away. It seemed that as long as she sent him off, the disturbances and bizarre events that followed him would dissipate. She wouldn't have to endure these contemplations and struggles anymore; everything would return to normal, as if he had never appeared and those things had never happened. But Qin Jiuye knew that was already impossible. She had chosen to step onto a path she had never trodden before, and the experiences that followed would be no better than her current situation. She would bear everything for her choice, but he didn't have to. The thin string binding the grasshoppers would eventually be worn through. They had once stood on the same front, but now that front no longer existed. He had always known how to weigh pros and cons; he wouldn't be foolish like her. He questioned her choice, and as shrewd as he was, he would surely draw his blade and cut the thin line connecting them, then turn and leave gracefully, never to be seen again in this life. However, after the youth asked that question, he stared at her fixedly, seemingly determined to remain in this deadlock until he heard an answer. Fine, she would be the villain. Qin Jiuye avoided his gaze, wiped the sweat from her palms on her skirt, and pulled out the coin pouch she carried close to her person. Counting money was usually what she was best at, yet today her hands actually trembled. Earlier today, Qiu Ling had treated her this way. Now, only a few hours later, she was clumsily imitating his method. She did it with such a guilty conscience, lacking even a shred of the righteous aura the young supervisor had possessed; instead, she felt like a heartless person trying to buy peace of mind with silver. Heaven be my witness, when had she ever spent money on such a thing? As the last copper coin slid into her palm, Qin Jiuye slowly held them out, her words coming out in a rush. "This is your wages for this month. I've factored in all the miscellaneous expenses. I won't charge you for that sugar cake from before. There are still a few days left in the month, so I've calculated the remainder by the day. Count the rest clearly so you don't come looking for me later..." Before Qin Jiuye could finish, Li Qiao reached out and took the string of coins from her hand. His movement was so fast that before she could react, her hand was empty, and her heart skipped a beat. He walked straight past her, stepping through the brushwood gate and into the courtyard. Qin Jiuye heard his footsteps head toward the eastern room, pausing briefly before returning. His rusted blade was kept by the woodpile in the eastern room. Aside from that blade, he didn't have any other luggage to begin with. Payment settled, debts cleared. The road is wide; we each take a side. It was the simplest of accounts, so why did she feel like she couldn't quite make the numbers work? Qin Jiuye's fingertips, which she hadn't yet pulled back, trembled slightly. In the next moment, she heard the returning footsteps stop behind her, followed by the sound of a wooden bucket hitting the ground. The freshly drawn, clear river water sloshed in the bucket, a few drops splashing out and wetting the hem of her dust-covered trousers. Qin Jiuye slowly turned around, meeting the youth's calm, light-brown eyes. He looked at her for a moment, then leaned down to pick up the tattered rag she had used to wipe the sign. He rinsed it clean in the bucket, wrung it out, and handed it back to her. "The three-month term isn't up yet. Why is Sister driving me away?" Qin Jiuye stared at the rag, only finding her voice after a long silence. "You're staying?" "Of course." He answered quickly, as if he had known all along she would confirm it with him and had prepared his answer long ago. "When did I ever say I was leaving? Sister said it herself: grasshoppers on the same string must advance and retreat together. If you want to keep going, I can only follow you." The string she expected to be broken had been stuck back together, though it turned out to be spider silk rather than thread. Qin Jiuye was stunned. Since when was her word law? Based on her understanding of this youth, he was by no means the type to be so obedient. Even though she had imagined countless outcomes, Qin Jiuye was still surprised by his reaction. She looked down and rubbed the half-pendant at her waist, whispering after a moment, "If you're doing this for the antidote, there's no need to worry. Guoran Ju won't leave a half-cured patient to die. Besides, I've already agreed to investigate the secret formula with the Supervisor. Don't you... dislike getting involved in these troubles?" Of course he hated trouble, but he hated that man even more. Li Qiao looked up. He recalled the tone and expression Jinbao had used when speaking to him at Guoran Ju that day. When he spoke again, his voice carried a hint of subtle, hard-to-detect humility. "But Sister has already decided, hasn't she? In Sister's eyes, the Lord of Broken Jade is more reliable, more upright, and more worthy of trust than I am. If you choose to walk the coming path with him, I will simply follow. Does Sister find me a nuisance? But you never said the path you're taking couldn't accommodate three people walking together." Li Qiao noticed the fleeting flicker of awkwardness on Qin Jiuye's face when he mentioned Qiu Ling. He couldn't judge what emotion that awkwardness stemmed from, nor did he know how the woman before him would react. This wasn't the kind of social maneuvering he was familiar with; he had never placed himself in such a passive position. The situation he faced was different from anything he had experienced before. He felt he was doing something foolish. He had always been a quick learner. But of all people to learn from, he had chosen to mimic that useless Situ fellow. Back then, Situ Jinbao had been just like this, pleading piteously for things that were both useless and unattainable, even lowering himself to accommodate people and things he disliked. Perhaps he shouldn't continue to endure and feign humility. Perhaps he should draw his blade, cut through the water, and walk away. Perhaps he should hit the road alone and never worry about these trivial matters again. But by the time he realized what he should do, he had already told her he was staying. Qin Jiuye stood there motionless, letting the silence become uncomfortably heavy. After a long while, she asked dryly, "Are you finished?" "One more thing." The youth glanced at her expression and threw out his final bargaining chip. "I still remember the things you promised to teach me. Sister cannot go back on her word." *Go back on her word.* The person who had inexplicably questioned her by the river last night was clearly him, yet somehow the conversation had shifted to make it seem like she owed him. He was the one who insisted on staying, he was the one... Qin Jiuye sighed and finally stepped forward to take the rag from his hand. "There's nothing left for you here. Go add some wood to the fire and get the medicine furnace hot before nightfall." Having said this, she waved the rag and resumed her "battle" with the mud on the signboard, clearly determined not to discuss the matter further. Li Qiao stood in place for a moment, then picked up his hatchet and turned toward the courtyard. Even now, he couldn't believe he had chosen to stay. For someone like him, staying was never a good choice. Leaving was what he was best at. He thrust the hatchet into the ground, then reached into his waistband and pulled out an object the size of a palm. It was an ancient-style copper mirror. On the back of the mirror, two words were engraved in archaic script: *Bucang*—Unconcealed. When he had followed her last night and bought it from the old woman, he never imagined the mirror would end up stuck in his own hands. Right now, those two words looked piercingly bright, like two needles constantly pricking the flesh over his heart, reminding him: he was a man harboring secrets. And his secrets were so wretched and base that they could never be revealed before her. It wasn't that he was a step too slow, nor was it that Qiu Ling had taken the initiative. It was that from the very beginning, he was unable to give this mirror away. As the sunlight died on the mountain peaks, the youth rewrapped the copper mirror and tucked it back into his waist. He stepped into the shadows, the emotions between his brows vanishing along with the last ray of light, leaving no trace behind. He silently picked up the hatchet and began splitting the new firewood with even more precision than usual. Not far away, the frail apprentice, having spent half the day catching fish and carrying two buckets of water, was sprawled exhaustedly against the lopsided woodpile. After an unknown amount of time, he finally peeked at the youth trimming the wood and asked, knowing the answer full well, "Did you see the jade pendant at her waist?" The youth didn't even look up, clearly having no intention of entertaining him. Seeing this, Jinbao grew even more spirited. Propping himself up on one arm, he continued, "Do you know who that pendant belongs to?" This time, the youth finally reacted. The piece of wood in his hand, as thick as a bowl's rim, instantly splintered into pieces, wood chips flying several paces away. "Qiu Ling's." "Since you know, why did you tell her that nonsense about staying?" Jinbao sat up, patting his belly. Catching the look on the youth's face, his tone turned incredulous. "Don't tell me you think you can actually compete with the Young Master of the Qiu family?" A mere Lord of Broken Jade from Kunxu—when had he ever held such a person in high regard? The only reason he cared was because *she* cared. The youth looked at the wood on the ground, which had been split almost as thin as chopsticks, and slowly tightened his grip on the hatchet. "As long as I am at Guoran Ju, she is my employer. If her heart is set on that secret formula, I will find it for her. If her heart is set on the culprit behind the scenes, I will catch them for her. In time, she will understand." Jinbao was baffled. "Understand what?" Understand that he was the more useful one. Understand that he was the one who would choose to stand by her side at any time. Understand that on this crowded, muddy road, he was the one who could accompany her to the very end. If he still had such a chance. Seeing the youth remain silent, the lazy apprentice shook his head and rolled over. Light spilled from the small window of the pharmacy nearby. Smoke from the decocting medicine rose from the chimney, faintly accompanied by the rhythmic clicking of a woman flicking the beads of an abacus. Situ Jinbao listened for a moment and then spoke with profound earnestness. "You're overthinking it. My shopkeeper has only ever had her heart set on silver." *** **Glossary** Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation ---|---|--- 不藏 | Bucang (Unconcealed) | The name engraved on the copper mirror; literally "not hidden" or "no hiding." 昆墟 | Kunxu | Likely the name of a sect or region associated with Qiu Ling. 窦五娘 | Dou Wuniang | A villager/customer at the pharmacy. 袴 | Trousers/Hakama-style pants | Traditional lower garment. 药垆 | Medicine furnace | A small stove or furnace used for decocting herbal medicines.

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