The old man lowered his head and sighed, looking down at his palms and unconsciously rubbing them together. "He had a very difficult childhood. His mother and I both neglected him, which perhaps had some effect on his personality." The old man turned to look at Pei Cangyu. "It must be hard on you."
Pei Cangyu thought to himself, *You have no idea how big that 'some effect' is. It’s not just a small influence; it’s the kind of influence that threatens public safety. My hardship is secondary.*
The old man smiled. When he did, he looked remarkably wise, showing glimpses of his younger self, though now he possessed a more detached, ethereal quality.
He gestured with his arm. "Do you like this lake?"
Pei Cangyu nodded.
"He had it built specifically for me," the old man said slowly. "Even though it doesn't match the style of the rest of the courtyard, he built it just so I could live a little better—so I’d have something to hold onto when I missed home."
Pei Cangyu offered a small smile and turned to look at the shimmering surface of the lake. It covered a large area, and he could see the far end of the water branching out, perhaps connecting to an external waterway. Unfortunately, there weren't many fish.
The old man reached out and took Pei Cangyu’s hand, looking concerned. "How are you doing?"
Pei Cangyu didn't quite understand the question, but he answered anyway, "I'm doing alright."
The old man nodded. "When people spend time together, there are always ups and downs. The trials of love are even greater."
Pei Cangyu avoided the old man's gaze again.
The old man seemed to drift into memory, his eyes softening as he looked into the distance. His tone was gentle and his choice of words refined, much like Bai Shi’s—a distinctly literary way of speaking. "Don't find me too tedious; old people are often like this, like boxes overflowing with mementos. I made many mistakes when I was young. I was impatient and greedy for success, and I missed out on many people and things." He looked at Pei Cangyu with a kind gaze. "In the eyes of many, I was an utter scoundrel. But not to her. When she met me, I had nothing; I was simply a person she found lovely. For love, that was enough."
Pei Cangyu stared at him blankly.
"I can recognize people who are deeply in love. I am old now; I can't remember a single day of those mad years spent scrambling for fame and fortune, yet I remember her every word, every expression, and every tiny trace of her presence with perfect clarity."
Pei Cangyu saw something glistening in his eyes, a hint of moisture.
The old man quickly turned away, smiling again as if to compensate. "That’s what I told him, too. He used to be manipulated by others into doing things that brought him no benefit." He looked at Pei Cangyu once more. "Running all over the world... they trained him to be the 'right' kind of person, instigating him to do terrible things. He was so young then, being led away by them..."
An image of Bai Shi in the ninth grade suddenly flashed through Pei Cangyu’s mind—the Bai Shi who had just hit a growth spurt, his thin back, his fragile and cold expression, pushing everyone away, struggling with himself. A lonely soul.
He didn't dare look at Bai Shi’s father.
"I advised him to go find you," the old man said. "You can help him."
Pei Cangyu hesitated. "I also..."
The old man’s gaze was exceptionally firm. Pei Cangyu felt that he looked younger in that moment. "You can. You only need to remain steadfast in your will and discern your own heart."
Pei Cangyu remained silent.
"You must think clearly," the old man said, placing a withered hand on his shoulder. "What counts as being good for yourself, and what is truly good for him."
Pei Cangyu looked at him earnestly and nodded.
The old man suddenly chuckled. "I thought you might get impatient if I talked about his past."
Just as Pei Cangyu was about to reply, the old man said, "Let's head back. It’s almost time for lunch."
He stood up and held the old man’s wheelchair to help him turn around. He struggled for a moment because of some pebbles, but fortunately, a man nearby stepped in to help.
Pei Cangyu pushed the old man toward the lawn, where people were chatting and soaking up the sun. It was indeed a bright, beautiful day, the kind that lifted one's spirits.
Bai Shi had finished his business and naturally took over the wheelchair from Pei Cangyu. As he pushed the old man, they talked and laughed, looking exactly like a normal family visiting a patient. However, Pei Cangyu also understood that if Bai Shi were just a simple family member, there would be no need for orderlies to seek him out to handle issues. This place was likely also one of Bai Shi’s "safe zones."
Pei Cangyu looked down at the old man talking to Bai Shi. For some reason, he felt that something was very strange.
They ate lunch at a long table in the main hall. The table was large enough to seat thirty people, fifteen on each side. When they entered, several patients accompanied by orderlies were already eating. The patients didn't use knives or forks, only rounded wooden spoons. One male patient refused to use a spoon no matter what, insistently grabbing food with his hands and spilling it everywhere. An orderly grabbed his arm and forced the spoon into his hand with movements that could only be described as rough. The other patients were in various states, but none were much better; the table, their clothes, and the floor were all a mess. The orderlies were scolding them, making the room quite noisy.
Bai Shi pushed the old man to the table, cleared a space for him among the chairs, and then he and Pei Cangyu sat down. Pei Cangyu was about to ask how the meal worked—buffet or à la carte—when he saw orderlies bringing out trays of food. He noticed that the food in front of them was much better than what the other patients were eating.
With great tenderness, Bai Shi peeled an egg for the old man, dropped it into some soup, and handed it to him. The old man smiled gratefully as he took it. Watching this scene of filial piety, Pei Cangyu felt momentarily moved.
As they were eating, a patient lunged for the seat next to Bai Shi, deciding to sit down and eat. Bai Shi glanced up at an orderly, and a burly man came over to "invite" the patient to leave. "Invite" was the word because he seemed polite, but Pei Cangyu suspected it was only because Bai Shi was there.
The patient didn't move and had already started drinking soup, leaning so far into the bowl that his face was almost buried in it.
Bai Shi watched him expressionlessly, then looked up at the man and smiled slightly. "Thank you for your hard work."
The man then hoisted the patient up from behind and dragged him away. The patient began to scream. Another orderly quickly came over to clear the plate. The screaming didn't last long before the patient was dragged out of the hall.
Pei Cangyu stood up, feeling a bit indignant. "That’s a bit much, isn't it...?"
The old man reached out to soothe him. "If they don't do that, these people are very dangerous."
Pei Cangyu looked at Bai Shi with lingering doubt. "What kind of illness do they have?"
"It's not just illness," the old man told him. "They are criminals."
"Huh?"
The old man pointed to his own head. "Serious criminal cases, but lacking the capacity for discernment."
Pei Cangyu froze.
The old man added, "The one just now—he hacked his wife and daughter to death and set fire to his own home."
Pei Cangyu looked at Bai Shi in shock.
Bai Shi nodded and turned to point at a sign at the entrance of the hall. "It’s written right there: Criminally Insane."
Pei Cangyu sat back down and muttered to himself, "It’s not like I can read it." Then a thought struck him. "Then why is Uncle here?"
Bai Shi didn't answer, turning instead to look at the old man.
The old man smiled. "I was here before the renovations. I didn't want to move."
Pei Cangyu didn't feel right asking further, so he sat and continued eating.
They chatted about the weather and road conditions. The old man didn't ask where Bai Shi had come from, where he was going, why he had come, how he had been lately, or how the family business was doing. He just kept a gentle smile. He did get a bit excited when mentioning a certain sports team's recent performance, saying they had done well. Bai Shi probably didn't know much about the team, as he just nodded with a smile and didn't interject.
There was an orderly specifically assigned to care for the old man. As they were finishing up, he came over to help tidy things. He wiped the table with practiced efficiency. The old man slowly wiped his mouth with a napkin, smiled at the orderly, and then turned to Pei Cangyu. "I'm going for a nap. You two go ahead and talk."
Pei Cangyu nodded.
He watched the old man's retreating figure, feeling a sense of admiration. His situation couldn't be called good, yet he maintained such a peaceful state of mind. Despite his physical disability and living in a foreign land where Bai Shi couldn't visit often, he still possessed grace, a clear mind, and an aura of wisdom.
Pei Cangyu was deeply impressed.
Bai Shi tapped his hand. "What are you looking at?"
Pei Cangyu turned back. "I'm a little moved."
"Moved by what?"
"Life. Don't you think?" He made a small gesture with his hand. "How resilient it is."
Bai Shi didn't say anything. He looked at him with an indulgent expression, clearly thinking Pei Cangyu was being overly sentimental.
After lunch, Pei Cangyu and Bai Shi walked around the vicinity of the nursing home. They went to the front area; truth be told, the new district was built much better than the old one. The sun was lovely today, and there was a breeze. A few people were singing on the lawn, and a guitar player was performing a solo. A crowd had gathered around them, making it quite lively.
They watched for a while. Pei Cangyu looked at the musicians with a hint of envy and patted Bai Shi. "You know, I actually planned to learn the guitar once."
Bai Shi was a bit surprised. "When?"
Pei Cangyu smiled sheepishly. "Back in high school. But I never finished learning. My basics were bad; I only know how to play one song."
"You stopped reading manga?" Bai Shi said with a smile.
Pei Cangyu shrugged. "I didn't read much after high school. I watched bands more often."
Bai Shi looked at him with a faint smile. "Which song can you play?"
Pei Cangyu coughed and scratched his head. "I don't play it well... *Animal Nitrate*."
Bai Shi was truly surprised now. "Suede?"
Pei Cangyu raised an eyebrow. Bai Shi laughed. "So you like that style."
"I like all styles. I often feel out of place in fan circles because I'm not willing to praise one while trashing another."
Bai Shi turned to look at him. "...That line you just said was actually pretty smooth."
"Really?" Pei Cangyu blinked dumbly.
"Let's go buy a guitar later."
"For what?"
"Don't you only know one song? Learn a few more," Bai Shi said, looking at him. "We have plenty of time, anyway."
Pei Cangyu rolled his eyes. "Oh? Should I find a teacher? Or are you going to teach me?"
"I'll teach you."
"Huh?"
Bai Shi spread his hands. "I'll teach you."
Just then, the band finished a song. The piano player stood up and bowed to everyone, then waved and left amidst the applause. The lead singer left too. It turned out these instruments were just placed there; they weren't a real, permanent band.
Pei Cangyu took the opportunity to nudge Bai Shi. "Go on, let me see if the teacher is qualified enough to teach me."
As he spoke, someone else went up and picked up the bass. A round of applause broke out, and someone whistled. Pei Cangyu patted Bai Shi again. "Go for it, Baikachu."
Bai Shi glanced at him and walked up. He picked up the guitar from the stand, and the applause immediately grew louder. A whistle sounded right in Pei Cangyu’s ear, startling him. He looked at Bai Shi. "Hopeless... here we go again. Another chance for this kid to show off..."
The man holding the bass looked to be in his early twenties, with red hair and some freckles on his face, but compared to him, Bai Shi looked even younger. The redhead walked over to Bai Shi and whispered something in his ear—perhaps deciding what to play—before stepping back.
Then the bass started. After the low notes, the guitar joined in. It was a very lyrical piece. Pei Cangyu found it familiar but couldn't recall the name for a moment. Bai Shi played with his head down, his blonde hair falling near his ears. Midway through, a girl stepped in quietly and added the piano. The noisy lawn fell silent. Many people recognized the tune and looked toward the three in the center.
*Le Parfum Des Eglises*. The Fragrance of Churches.
Pei Cangyu suddenly remembered.
The wind continued to blow gently. The people around them moved a bit closer. Clouds drifted across the sky, occasionally blocking the sun, causing the shadows on Bai Shi to flicker between light and dark. He never looked up, though he wasn't exactly looking at the strings either. Pei Cangyu stared at his face and felt that Bai Shi seemed to be spacing out a bit. His fingers were pale, but after a day in the sun, red spots had appeared on the backs of his hands—perhaps a sunburn. Pei Cangyu hadn't noticed it before; he felt he should have.
Some people nearby even pulled out their phones to record them. Pei Cangyu glanced over and saw a girl zooming in her camera until it only framed Bai Shi’s lowered face, highlighting his beautiful profile.
Pei Cangyu watched Bai Shi through other people's phone screens, then suddenly saw Bai Shi look up. He turned his head and met Bai Shi’s gaze. For no reason at all, Pei Cangyu’s heart skipped a beat.
But he quickly realized the reason. It was actually quite simple; that’s how love is.
So Pei Cangyu should know that he had a responsibility toward Bai Shi, just as in any mature relationship.
The piece ended. Enthusiastic applause broke out. Bai Shi was about to put the guitar down when a man stepped up to the microphone, seemingly intending to be the lead singer. He spoke a few words to the three, and they returned to their positions.
Bai Shi looked at Pei Cangyu, who gave him a nod. Bai Shi put the guitar strap back over his shoulder.
Pei Cangyu knew this song.
Blur, *Tender*.
People on the lawn sat down in small groups, as if they were truly watching a concert. Pei Cangyu shifted his feet, intending to sit down as well.
At that moment, he suddenly felt a chill down his spine, like a needle prick. He spun around quickly but saw nothing.
But the feeling was intense. He scanned his surroundings carefully. He saw no one on the lawn behind him. He looked up and realized that from here, he could see part of the side of the old building.
He scanned from the first floor upward.
On the fourth floor, he saw Bai Shi’s father. The old man noticed him too, raised a hand to wave, and offered a gentle smile.
Pei Cangyu returned the smile.
Only after watching the old man being pushed away did Pei Cangyu silently turn back.
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
--- | --- | ---
白卡丘 | Baikachu | A playful nickname for Bai Shi, combining his name with "Pikachu."
刑事精神病患 | Criminally Insane | Specifically refers to patients in a psychiatric facility who have committed serious crimes but were found to lack legal responsibility.
Animal Nitrate | Animal Nitrate | A song by the British band Suede.
Tender | Tender | A song by the British band Blur.
Le Parfum Des Eglises | Le Parfum Des Eglises | "The Fragrance of Churches," a musical piece.
Enjoying the story? Rate this novel:
Stolen Jade | Chapter 127 | A Box of Mementos | Novela.app | Novela.app
