Chapter 29 - The Act of Abandonment
By the time she prepared to return to school, the sky had undergone a violent transformation. Though it was still broad daylight, bruised clouds had coalesced into a heavy shroud, devouring the sun until its light was nothing more than a pale, sickly flicker.
Then, the rain began.
Spring rain is typically gentle, a soft mist that coaxes life from the earth, but today it felt oppressive, a damp chill that seeped into the very marrow of one’s bones.
Zong Yan sat through her final lecture in a daze. The professor called her name several times, his voice sharp with growing irritation, but she remained unresponsive, her gaze fixed on a point somewhere beyond the classroom walls. Around her, the muffled snickers of her classmates rippled through the room. She knew exactly who was reveling in her lapse of composure, but she had never cared for their petty malice before, and she certainly had no room for it now.
Chen Bai had given her an ultimatum: return Si Jiang within three days.
A cold, mirthless smile tugged at the corner of her lips. *In his dreams.*
He was her property. Why should she hand over what belonged to her to anyone else?
Logically, there were solutions. She could force Si Jiang to speak with Chen Bai again, to insist that he wasn't being held against his will. But Chen Bai wasn't a fool; this time, he would demand a face-to-face meeting. That was an impossibility. She could simply refuse to acknowledge the accusations. After all, Chen Bai had no concrete evidence that she was the one keeping Si Jiang captive. No one knew where he was.
Zong Yan’s hand, poised over her notebook, gave a sudden, violent tremor. No. If the Si family truly mobilized their resources, they could peel back the layers of her life with surgical precision. If they investigated her, they would eventually find the unfinished building. And if they found the building, they would find Si Jiang.
She could move him... but where? She could rent a temporary room, perhaps. But that was futile. She still had to attend classes and work. Unless she left him entirely alone in a place where no one could link them together, she would be caught.
But that wouldn't work either. Her "pet" currently lacked the basic capacity for independent survival.
She had been too reckless, she realized. She had left too many threads for someone to pull. In the beginning, her only goal had been to vent her rage. She had never intended for her life to become so inextricably tangled with Si Jiang’s. She had planned to lock him away for a while, use whatever means necessary to break his pride, and leave a few permanent scars on his psyche as leverage. Once her revenge was sated, she would have tossed him back into his world and resumed her own "normal" life.
Yet fate was a cruel jester. It had allowed her—in a moment of shared delirium—to raise this broken, unthinking man as her own pet.
She remembered the crushing despair she felt as a child when she found the lifeless body of a puppy. Back then, she had been too small, too powerless to preserve that tiny spark of life. Just as she had been unable to keep her biological mother or her stepfather from leaving her, she had been haunted by the feeling that she was a parasite, a "thorn in the side" to everyone she encountered.
Now, it seemed, she still lacked the power to hold onto another life.
Lost in her thoughts, she collided with someone in the hallway. She looked up, her eyes vacant, to find her three roommates glaring at her with practiced hostility.
"Hey, don't you have eyes? Watch where you're going!"
Zong Yan looked away and tried to step around them.
"Can't even say sorry after bumping into someone? You really are a classless brat," one of them spat. They were relentless, as if their peaceful days had grown too dull and they needed the entertainment of tormenting Zong Yan again.
Zong Yan took a deep breath, her voice low and dangerous. "Let go."
One of the girls had grabbed her backpack, anchoring her in place. "And if I don't? What are you going to do about it?"
Suddenly, a jagged bolt of white light tore through the sky, followed instantly by a deafening, bone-shaking roar of thunder. The building seemed to vibrate. Everyone jumped, their hearts hammering against their ribs. A sharp scream pierced the air.
It merged with the scream of the girl standing in front of Zong Yan.
Zong Yan had seized the girl’s wrist, wrenching it forward with brutal efficiency. She twisted the fragile hand back toward the forearm, the joint straining at an unnatural angle. The agonizing stimulus of near-breaking bone sent the roommate into a frantic wail.
"Zong Yan! Let go! You're crazy!"
"You two! Don't just stand there, help me!"
The other two girls, momentarily paralyzed by the sudden violence, lunged forward. One reached out to claw at Zong Yan’s face.
Zong Yan had reached the end of her patience. In the past, her endurance had been a calculated choice to minimize trouble. She knew that some bullies eventually lost interest if their victim didn't react. But others, like these girls, only saw silence as a confirmation of weakness—an invitation to trample over her.
Patience was no longer a virtue. It was a burden.
"I told you," Zong Yan hissed, "stop bothering me."
She swung her arm, the back of her hand connecting with their faces like a lead weight. The force of the blow sent the girls stumbling back until they collapsed onto the floor. Zong Yan leaned down, gripping the first girl’s collar and hauling her halfway off the ground. She stared into the girl’s terrified eyes, her own expression cold and hollow.
"This is the last time," Zong Yan whispered. "Consider those slaps payment for everything you've done before. Now, get out of my sight."
She shoved the girl away and walked past the huddle of sobbing, shouting students. She thought she heard a teacher’s voice in the distance, but she didn't care. She shouldered her bag and walked out into the rainy night.
The streets were emptier than usual, populated only by a few hurried pedestrians huddled under umbrellas. They brushed past Zong Yan, who walked through the downpour without cover. The streetlights were blurred by the mist, casting a ghostly glow over the pavement. She reached the dessert shop she had visited earlier that day and stepped inside.
When she emerged, she was carrying a small paper bag. She tucked it into her backpack and stepped back into the rain. Her clothes were heavy and sodden, clinging to her thin frame and making her narrow shoulders look even more burdened. The cold was beginning to penetrate her skin. The spring rain, it turned out, could indeed chill a person to the bone.
She navigated the winding alleys, heading toward the desolate ruins of the unfinished complex. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and swiped through the notifications with a numb indifference.
Two text messages: bank alerts. Her scholarship and financial aid had arrived, totaling just over ten thousand yuan. Another notification showed a transfer from Wang Yao for one hundred thousand yuan—payment for her recent design commissions. Her clients were wealthy and cared little for the price as long as the work was perfect.
Zong Yan stared at the numbers for a long time. She could pay it all back now. She was almost free of the debt.
Another message was from Bai Mao, asking if she was alright. She must have frightened him earlier that afternoon. She didn't have the energy to reply. She gripped the phone tightly and entered the back gate of the residential area.
But she was forced to stop. In the normally abandoned, overgrown construction site, there were signs of life. People were moving about.
Outside, the wind howled and the thunder continued its rhythmic assault. Inside the derelict apartment, Si Jiang paced restlessly, his eyes fixed on the clock. Why wasn't Zong Yan back yet? He had no way to contact her; he could only wait in the silence of their "home."
The waiting was a slow torture. His heart rate was erratic, fluttering in his chest for no reason he could name. Was it the weather? The frequent cracks of thunder felt as though they might split the ceiling at any moment, leaving him exposed and vulnerable.
Finally, the door creaked open. Si Jiang stood up instantly, rushing toward her.
"Why are you so wet? Did you not have an umbrella?"
Zong Yan was drenched, water dripping from her hair and clothes to form a dark puddle on the floor. "I forgot," she said simply.
"Why didn't you just buy one on the way? You're going to catch a cold." Si Jiang reached out, intending to lead her to the bathroom to dry her off. "You need a hot bath, right now—"
"Si Jiang."
"What is it?"
Under the harsh, flickering light of the single bulb, Zong Yan pushed her wet hair back from her forehead. Her sharp, cold features were fully exposed. Si Jiang had grown so accustomed to the birthmark beneath her eye that he often forgot it was there. Only in the deep silence of the night, when their breaths mingled, did he ever think of pressing his lips to that darkened patch of skin.
"Kneel."
Si Jiang froze for a second, then obediently sank to the floor before her. His master was acting strange today. His instincts told him it was best to comply without question.
"Who are you?" Zong Yan asked, her fingers tracing the scars on his face.
"I'm Si Jiang," he replied, looking up at her with confusion.
Zong Yan’s hand stilled, then moved to grip the back of his neck. "Say it again. Who are you?"
"I... I am Zong Yan’s pet. I am Si Jiang."
"To whom do you belong?"
"I belong to Master. I belong to Zong Yan. You are my only Master."
One asked with a face devoid of emotion; the other answered with absolute conviction. The dialogue was twisted, a perversion of human dignity, yet they spoke with a terrifying normalcy.
"Si Jiang," Zong Yan said, a smile flickering across her lips—a smile that was both stubborn and profoundly sad. "You had better remember what you just said."
"Of course I’ll remember. Master, you have to remember too—you can only have me as your pet. I’m very territorial, and I’m selfish and petty. You know how I am. So, you can’t go looking for other pets outside. You have to come home early every day. Remember that I’m waiting for you, okay?"
Si Jiang didn't understand why she was being so solemn, but he took the opportunity to press his own agenda. When she didn't answer, he took her hand and pressed it against his cheek, kissing her palm entreatingly. "Master? Please? Say something."
Zong Yan looked down at him, her silence heavy with a thousand unspoken emotions.
"Why won't you talk?" Si Jiang grew anxious. He sat back on his heels, letting go of her hand with a pout. "You're ignoring me again." He muttered something about her being a "wooden gourd" come to life.
"Get up," Zong Yan said, pulling at his arm. He didn't budge. "Follow me."
Knowing when to push and when to yield was the hallmark of a good pet. Si Jiang stood up and followed her into the master bedroom's bathroom. To his surprise, a bathtub had been installed and scrubbed clean.
In the biting chill of the spring night, the small space was soon filled with billowing steam. The tub was full of hot water. Zong Yan began to strip off her wet clothes.
"You too," she commanded.
Si Jiang obeyed, though he was unsure of her intent. They squeezed into the small tub together. It was the first time Si Jiang had seen the full extent of the scars covering Zong Yan’s body. He couldn't begin to imagine the stories behind those jagged marks. But he recognized the newer ones—the ones he had caused. Because of him, a woman whose life was already a struggle had been forced to endure even more suffering.
He reached out, his fingers trembling as they brushed against a raised ridge of skin. Large tears suddenly splashed into the bathwater. He felt a visceral pain, as if the wounds were opening on his own flesh.
"I'm sorry..."
The pet looked as though he were in agony. Zong Yan wiped his tears away. "What are you crying for?"
Si Jiang shook his head, overwhelmed by a wave of belated remorse for his past actions. "Master... did it hurt a lot?" He lay beneath her in the water as she braced herself against the rim of the tub.
"What?" she asked, her hand moving slowly over his chest.
"That night... when I made you drink all that alcohol. You said you almost..." He couldn't bring himself to say the word. The mere thought of it made it hard to breathe.
"It hurt," Zong Yan replied. "The gastric lavage was miserable, too."
...
He instinctively tensed. Since that traumatic night on New Year's Eve, Zong Yan hadn't initiated anything physical. He had secretly been relieved, glad to avoid the pain. He hadn't expected her to start now. But as she spoke of the emergency room and the critical condition notice, his legs began to shake.
"Mmm... Master... ah..."
Wrapped in the warmth of the water, he was pinned against the porcelain. His hands gripped the edge of the tub to keep from slipping under. "Slow... slow down..."
Zong Yan bit into his neck, her grip fierce. It was as if the world were ending tomorrow, and she had to complete her farewell through this desperate, suffocating intimacy. He gasped, staring blankly at the unpainted concrete of the ceiling.
Zong Yan leaned down, her lips brushing his ear. "Si Jiang. Remember what you said."
"You are my pet."
"Never forget it."
*I already told you,* he thought hazily. *I won't forget.*
The next day, Zong Yan called in sick. She didn't go to school. She kept Si Jiang on the sofa, exhausting him throughout the day. Si Jiang was more than happy to comply; though his body was weary, his mind was filled with the satisfaction of her constant presence.
In the early hours of the third day, Zong Yan opened her eyes. There was no trace of sleep in them. Beside her, Si Jiang was submerged in a deep, peaceful slumber.
She got up and retrieved a set of clothes—the expensive outfit Si Jiang had been wearing when she first took him. She had never thrown it away. She had washed it and kept it at the bottom of the wardrobe. She carefully removed his pajamas and dressed him in the slightly tattered, high-end clothes. Then, she woke him.
"Master?" Si Jiang mumbled, rubbing his eyes. His fingers met a familiar texture. Zong Yan had placed a blindfold over his eyes. "What time is it? Why the blindfold?"
"It's early," Zong Yan whispered. "I want to take you somewhere."
"Huh?" He was confused by the sudden whim, but he was too exhausted to suspect anything was wrong. Just as they were about to leave, he asked, "Master, aren't you going to bring the leash?"
Zong Yan’s breath hitched for a moment. "Right. I'll get it."
She led him by the hand, walking for a long, long time. Eventually, Si Jiang grew uneasy. "Where are we going?" He hated leaving the safety of the apartment, but because Zong Yan said she wanted to take him somewhere, he couldn't refuse.
"We're almost there," she said.
Si Jiang relaxed. It was fine. As long as Master was there, everything would be okay.
Zong Yan led him to the park where it had all begun. In a secluded corner, there was a long wooden bench. She guided him to sit down. Si Jiang felt for the seat and sat, his hands resting on his knees, clenched into fists.
Then, a small box was placed in his hands.
"I bought this for you the day before yesterday. I forgot to give it to you. Hold onto it."
"What is it?" he asked, feeling the shape of the box.
"Do you remember the day of the earthquake?"
"Of course." It was his birthday, and the day his life had taken a sharp turn.
"I've never celebrated a birthday for anyone else," Zong Yan said. "Consider this cake a late gift."
"A cake?" Si Jiang was pleasantly surprised. Zong Yan actually cared about things like this?
"Yes. Eat it in a little while." Zong Yan stood up.
He turned his head toward her voice, sensing her movement. "Master?"
"I'm going to throw away some trash. Wait for me here."
"Okay. Come back quickly."
"..."
"I will."
Chen Bai, who had been waiting in a state of frantic anxiety, finally received a message. It was a GPS location. Following it was a photo: Si Jiang, sitting alone on a park bench.
*He's here.*
*Take him back.*
Chen Bai immediately typed back: *How much money do you want?*
There was no reply. He began to drive toward the location, trying to message her again. But his messages were like stones dropped into a bottomless ocean. There was no echo.
In the park, Si Jiang waited. His anticipation was slowly being replaced by a creeping dread. How long did it take to throw away trash?
Finally, he heard the sound of rapid footsteps approaching. He couldn't help himself; he tore off the blindfold, a complaint already on his lips.
"What took you so—"
The words died in his throat. Chen Bai lunged forward, pulling him into a crushing embrace. "Holy shit! You're actually here! You brat, I finally found you!"
Si Jiang froze, his world tilting on its axis.
***
**GLOSSARY**
