Wen Yan only let go of his hand as they neared the teaching building. The moment their fingers parted, Su Jingming felt a sudden, hollow ache in his heart.
It had been a few days since they had made their relationship official. During this time, their brief, ambiguous touches had mostly been initiated by Wen Yan, making Su Jingming seem rather bashful and reserved in comparison.
Su Jingming scrunched up his nose, Wen Yan’s words from moments ago still echoing in his mind.
Their mutual affection was simple: I like you, you like me; I have eyes only for you, and you for me.
It was only society that forbade it.
As Wen Yan had said, his feelings had nothing to do with gender.
Su Jingming had never imagined his first partner would be a boy. He had never even considered that his sexual orientation might lean toward men. Furthermore, he had no idea how to navigate or maintain a same-sex relationship. He had never been in love before, let alone with another boy.
He had always been the passive one.
Following behind Wen Yan, Su Jingming watched his back. Under the glow of the fluorescent lights, the older boy’s silhouette exuded an inexplicable sense of security. It made everything else seem trivial.
Almost instinctively, Su Jingming reached out and hooked his finger into the hem of Wen Yan’s shirt. Wen Yan paused for a fraction of a second before looking down, his eyes shimmering with fragmented traces of a smile. Beside them, Li Yang and Ren Wei noticed Su Jingming walking with his head down, clutching Wen Yan’s clothes.
"What are you doing?" Ren Wei asked. "Hurry up, or we’ll be late."
Li Yang chimed in, "Since when did you start caring about being late for evening self-study?"
Wen Yan stopped in his tracks, his voice cool and gentle. "If there’s something on your mind, we’ll talk about it later."
Su Jingming stared at Wen Yan’s shadow and gave a soft "mm," reluctantly letting go.
*Actually, I feel the same way you do. I want us to be out in the open.*
Evening self-study relied entirely on self-discipline. After doing one lap of the room, Zhou Hong was called to the office by the grade dean. Gradually, the classroom began to buzz with noise.
Su Jingming and Wen Yan shared a tacit understanding, remaining silent as they focused on their practice problems. In moments like these, their synergy reached its peak. Even the students around them couldn't help but click their tongues in awe.
"Is this how top students grind through problems?"
"One top student studying isn't scary. What’s scary is two top students grinding through problems in total silence."
"They never even seem to check their answers against each other. That’s some serious confidence."
As soon as self-study began, Ren Wei and Li Yang had practiced their usual routine of opening a mobile game. As Ren Wei selected his hero, he asked nonchalantly, "Was I seeing things earlier?"
Li Yang frowned, selecting his skills. "No, you weren't."
Ren Wei’s grip on his phone tightened slightly. "Actually, I’ve had a vague feeling that something was off for a while now."
"So I’m not the only one who noticed." Li Yang’s brow smoothed out. "Tell me, do we look like... those?" He pointed to the lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling.
"Exactly like them!" Ren Wei pulled two lollipops out of his desk and handed one to Li Yang. "That’s the first time I’ve ever seen him look so... delicate and clingy?"
"It’s not just you. I’m surprised myself. I’ve known him for over a year and never realized."
"You think you could have figured out his orientation in just a year?" Ren Wei lowered his voice. "I’ve been hanging out with Su Jingming for over a decade, and I didn't realize he was also..."
Li Yang silently looked up at him. In that instant, it was as if the two of them had reached a silent pact. Their "revolutionary friendship" reached a new level of sublimation.
Even though Ren Wei had a candy in his mouth, he couldn't taste any sweetness. Since they started living at school, he had occasionally noticed small gestures between Wen Yan and Su Jingming that weren't quite right—gestures that went beyond mere friendship.
Seeing their interaction again today confirmed it. It was natural—so natural they looked like a couple in love. Specifically, Wen Yan’s doting tone, Su Jingming’s frequent blushing, and his unconscious movements.
Ren Wei’s heart felt heavy. *A gay couple right next to me?*
He wasn't a narrow-minded person; in this day and age, anything was possible. However, Ren Wei didn't dare imagine what would happen if Su Qicheng found out his son’s orientation was different from others.
While Ren Wei’s fingers operated the game, his eyes kept drifting toward the "Academic Ace Duo" at their desk.
Suddenly, his phone screen turned gray. Li Yang started cursing beside him. "Ren Wei, what are you doing? Is a promotion match the time to be distracted?"
Ren Wei snapped out of it. Li Yang’s voice was so loud that even Su Jingming and Wen Yan turned to look.
"Ah, sorry, sorry. Once I respawn, I’ll help you camp their fountain." Ren Wei bit down on his candy, crushing it, and lowered his head back to the game.
This outburst startled quite a few people. Even Zhang Jia, who sat in front of Ren Wei, turned around. She frowned and pursed her lips, looking as if she wanted to say something but hesitated. Ren Wei didn't notice her gaze. By the time he looked up again, everyone around him was studying hard, making him and Li Yang look like total slackers.
The evening self-study period passed quickly. Ren Wei successfully helped Li Yang promote to the next rank and began packing his things to head back to the dorm. Li Yang patted Ren Wei’s shoulder and jerked his chin toward the others. "Looks like they’re going to keep writing for a while."
Ren Wei pursed his lips. "Then let’s head back first."
The two gave Su Jingming and Wen Yan a brief goodbye and left for the dormitory.
Fewer and fewer students remained in the classroom. It wasn't until Su Jingming rubbed his aching neck and looked up that he realized only he and Wen Yan were left.
Seeing him rub his nape, Wen Yan reached out and placed his hand there. His fingers were slightly cool. "Don't keep your head so low next time."
Su Jingming raised an eyebrow, thoroughly enjoying the massage. He gradually squinted his eyes in contentment. Seeing this, Wen Yan let out a soft chuckle.
"This set of problems is indeed difficult."
"Then why didn't you tell me to go back and sleep?" Su Jingming checked his phone; it was nearly 11:30 PM. The teaching building closed at midnight.
"Would you have listened if I did?" Wen Yan looked like he knew him perfectly. "If you didn't solve these problems, you probably wouldn't have been able to sleep all night."
Wen Yan gently kneaded the back of his neck. "Before class started, what did you want to say to me?"
Su Jingming met his deep, dark eyes. Under the fluorescent lights, they seemed even darker. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. Wen Yan’s hand stopped kneading and slid around to the front, his thumb lightly pressing against the bobbing cartilage.
Su Jingming froze. Just as he was about to speak, Wen Yan’s fingertip brushed lightly over his Adam's apple. The skin on his neck felt as if it had been doused in scorching sunlight, sending a wave of heat through his entire body.
Suddenly, Wen Yan tilted his head and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against Su Jingming’s neck.
The kiss was light, and his lips lingered for only a moment.
In that heartbeat, Su Jingming’s entire body went rigid, and his mind felt like a display of colorful fireworks.
Wen Yan’s lips were cool.
The kiss was so tender that Su Jingming felt himself sinking into it... wanting more.
Wen Yan brought his gaze level with his, his fingers idly stroking the spot he had just kissed.
He whispered, "Little Hero."
"Hmm?"
Su Jingming gazed at him with a dazed expression and murmured, "...Can I have another one?"
A flash of surprise crossed Wen Yan’s face, but it vanished in an instant. He lowered his eyes. Su Jingming couldn't tell if it was an illusion or if the lights had dimmed, but the desire erupting in Wen Yan’s eyes was so clear—so clear that Su Jingming realized he had long since fallen into those eyes and would never be able to leave.
Hearing Su Jingming’s request, Wen Yan kissed his neck again.
This time, he wasn't gentle. The frantic, fragmented kisses were laced with the depth of his affection.
Su Jingming buried his head in the crook of Wen Yan’s neck and whispered, "Actually, I feel the same way you do."
*The same as you. I want to hold your hand openly and tell everyone.*
*You are mine.*
*I am yours.*
The love of a teenager carries a certain raw innocence and naivety—the desire to tell the whole world: *The person I like happens to like me back, and we are doing great.*
Su Jingming and Wen Yan returned to the dormitory exactly at midnight.
As they opened the door, Ren Wei, who was sitting on his bed, and Li Yang, who had just stepped out of the bathroom, paused for a few seconds as their eyes swept over them.
Finally, Ren Wei tossed a pack of tissues from his bed to Li Yang to break the awkwardness.
"Use these. This brand wipes the cleanest."
Li Yang stared at the tissues in his hand. At first, he didn't react, but after a moment of silence, he snapped.
"Fuck, Ren Wei! You really give me zero privacy!"
Su Jingming: "..."
Wen Yan: "..."
Li Yang went back into the bathroom, grumbling, while Ren Wei gave a muffled "goodnight." An air of profound awkwardness hung over Room 505 that night.
Even someone as thick-skinned as Su Jingming eventually realized that Li Yang and Ren Wei were acting strange. However, he wasn't exactly a "Dear Abby" type; assuming it was just adolescent restlessness, he didn't pry.
He continued to study hard as usual, terrified that the student in second place would overtake him.
April passed, taking the spring breeze with it—and taking Su Jingming’s first-place rank as well.
When Su Jingming saw the monthly exam rankings, he fell into a quiet silence for several seconds.
This time, the gap between him and Wen Yan was a full twenty points.
The question was: where on earth did those twenty points come from?
Wen Yan seemed very satisfied with the results. He sat with his chin resting on his hand, the smile on his face never fading throughout the morning.
Seeing this, Ren Wei and Li Yang could only shake their heads in silence. They exchanged a look; it seemed Su Jingming was completely under Wen Yan’s thumb.
First place in the grade had returned to Wen Yan, while Su Jingming was firmly seated in second.
Zhou Hong walked into the classroom with the grade sheet and instinctively looked toward Su Jingming and Wen Yan. Su Jingming was propping up his chin with one hand, looking utterly listless.
A wave of sympathy rose in Zhou Hong’s heart. This boy, Su Jingming, hadn't had the smoothest year since starting eleventh grade. He had finally managed to take first place, only to be overtaken again. Seeing him in this state, the teacher felt it was necessary to provide some psychological counseling.
"Everyone has seen the results of this monthly exam. The difficulty level was indeed quite high. Students who didn't do well, don't lose heart. Keep working hard, find your weaknesses, and strengthen them. Students who improved also need to keep up the effort. There’s only a little over a year left until the College Entrance Exam. With one more push, you can definitely get into your dream university."
Zhou Hong called out and encouraged several students who had made significant progress and assigned custom intensive training sets to those who were falling behind.
After arranging everything, Zhou Hong walked over to Su Jingming’s desk. "Su Jingming, come to the office with me for a moment."
Su Jingming followed Zhou Hong into the office, where the teacher poured him a cup of water. "Have a seat first."
Su Jingming took the water and sat silently in the chair.
Zhou Hong brought over the grade sheet and got straight to the point. "There’s a twenty-point gap between you and Wen Yan this time. I know it’s a shame, but I hope you don't let it become too much of a burden."
Su Jingming: "..."
Zhou Hong continued, "Of course, it’s just one exam. There will be many more in the future. You can definitely overcome yourself and defeat Wen Yan."
Su Jingming: "..." *This scene looks exactly like when you tricked me into joining the math competition training camp.*
Zhou Hong: "I believe that one day in the future, you will surpass yourself and leave no regrets. I have great faith in you. You can do it!"
Having finished his speech, Zhou Hong balled his hand into a fist and thumped his chest twice.
"Teacher..." Su Jingming started.
"Go ahead. I know you must feel very disappointed. Wen Yan took it back so easily... I mean, he took first place back from you. Don't feel too much pressure. I’ve looked it over for you; you mostly lost points in Chinese. Go back and review your Chinese properly, and strive to take back first place next time."
Su Jingming opened his mouth to speak, but Zhou Hong raised his fist again, his words full of "positive energy." "Learning is endless. A person spends their whole life learning; it doesn't just happen in school. Do you understand what I’m saying, Student Su?"
Su Jingming: "...I understand."
"It’s good that you understand. Life is full of tests, and as long as you can overcome this one, you will see the rising sun, and..." Zhou Hong paused, his voice thick with emotion, "and your future!"
Su Jingming was sent out of the office by Zhou Hong’s loving gaze. If he hadn't been fooled by the man before, he might have actually been moved by Zhou Hong’s inspirational mini-essay.
Only he knew the real reason why Wen Yan had taken back first place.
In the words of that "dog," Wen Yan:
"From the very first exam in tenth grade, you were destined to be pressed down by me."
Su Jingming had only raised an eyebrow and said nothing.
Zhou Hong had chatted with Su Jingming for nearly twenty minutes, and the next class had already been in session for ten. Su Jingming decided to skip it and went to the rooftop instead, leaning against a stone wall to soak in the sunlight.
Suddenly, the phone in his pocket vibrated several times in succession.
Su Jingming lazily opened his eyes.
It was a call from Cheng Hui.
Su Jingming pursed his lips and pressed the answer button.
"Jingming, it’s Mom. Can you come home for dinner tonight?"
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
月考 | Monthly Exam | Standard periodic exams in Chinese schools.
小鸟依人 | Delicate and clingy | Literally "like a little bird leaning on a person," usually used to describe a petite or dependent woman.
灯泡 | Lightbulb | Slang for "third wheel."
虐泉 | Fountain camping | Gaming term (MOBA) for killing opponents at their respawn point.
晋级赛 | Promotion match | A match that determines if a player moves up to the next rank in a game.
压 | Pressed down / Outranked | In this context, it carries a double meaning of academic ranking and sexual dominance (top/bottom).
正能量 | Positive energy | A common Chinese term for inspirational or wholesome content/attitude.
小作文 | Mini-essay | Often used to describe long, emotional, or preachy social media posts or speeches.
