It was during their first month of marriage that Wen Yan accidentally discovered Su Jingming was taking medication.
Su Jingming would always take it at a fixed time whenever Wen Yan wasn't home. Sheng Nian had repeatedly urged him to finish the final course of treatment without missing a single dose.
But who could have known that on this day, after taking his pills, Su Jingming would leave the bottle on the computer desk because he had to take a call from a patient?
By the time he returned, it was already late at night.
The moment he opened the door, Su Jingming sensed an unusual atmosphere.
The lights in the house were dim. Wen Yan sat expressionless on the sofa, and on the coffee table before him sat the pill bottle Su Jingming had forgotten to put away.
The second he saw that bottle, Su Jingming’s first thought was: *I’m dead.*
A heavy silence stretched between them as time ticked away. Su Jingming cycled through a thousand excuses in his head, trying to find a way to gloss it over. But the man in front of him was Wen Yan; no clumsy lie could cover this up.
"So..." Su Jingming pursed his lips. "You’re home early today."
Wen Yan gave a soft "mm" in response. "Not early. It’s already midnight."
"..." Su Jingming didn't give up. "Did you drink a lot at dinner? I’ll go run the bath for you. You should wash up and get some rest."
Wen Yan looked up at him in silence.
Su Jingming stood there awkwardly, his gaze fixed intently on the pill bottle on the coffee table.
Wen Yan had a business dinner that night, and he had been worried that Su Jingming wouldn't eat properly if he were home alone. As soon as he managed to get away from the firm's gathering, he had rushed to pack a dinner for Su Jingming and drove home without a moment's delay.
And the result? The person wasn't home, but the pill bottle on the table had caught his eye.
*Penfluridol tablets.*
Wen Yan had immediately called a doctor friend to ask about the medication.
His friend had been surprised. "That drug is used to stabilize schizophrenia and prevent a relapse. Why? Why are you asking about this?"
"It’s nothing. I was just curious," Wen Yan replied, staring down at the bottle in his hand. It felt like it was burning his palm.
"I see. Well, just so you know, it’s usually taken once a week, with one course of treatment lasting three months."
Three months per course. He wondered which course Su Jingming was currently on.
Wen Yan’s breathing grew heavy. The voice on the other end of the line continued to drone on, but he had no idea when the call actually ended.
He had heard that after Su Jingming started university, he never went back to Cheng Hui’s place, choosing instead to stay at A-University alone.
It was hard not to think that this was the reason Su Jingming had stayed in a strange city by himself, without anyone to accompany him.
Wen Yan had been by Su Jingming’s side through his darkest times. He knew all too well how terrifying schizophrenia could be.
And because he knew, his heart ached all the more.
If Su Jingming hadn't sought treatment, what would have happened later?
Wen Yan didn't dare to think about it. He didn't dare think about it at all.
Su Jingming finished running the bathwater. Just as he opened the bathroom door, he found Wen Yan standing silently behind it. Su Jingming turned back absentmindedly, noticing that Wen Yan’s expression looked increasingly grim.
He wanted to explain, but he didn't know where to start.
He couldn't exactly say: *Wen Yan, I’ve been living well these past few years, so don't worry too much.*
It wasn't that Su Jingming was being overly sensitive; it was just that he couldn't bring himself to say those words.
He found it difficult to speak of.
Wen Yan’s eyes were half-lidded, the suppressed emotions in his chest slowly diffusing, permeating every inch of his skin.
He was aching for his hero.
In the end, it was Wen Yan who spoke first, his voice raspy. "Shall we take a bath together?"
"??" Su Jingming hadn't expected things to develop this way. Under the circumstances, he couldn't refuse.
Wen Yan patiently washed Su Jingming’s hair, covering his body in lather. He had no ulterior motives; he washed Su Jingming with meticulous care, as if handling a piece of fragile porcelain.
By the time Su Jingming was lifted into the bathtub, his mind was still reeling.
Was it really just a simple bath?
He had already prepared himself to "make a sacrifice."
Su Jingming frowned. *Was I overthinking things?*
Wen Yan wrapped his arms around him. "I’m taking some time off soon. You should set aside your work too. Let’s go on a trip."
Su Jingming tilted his head to look at him. "So sudden?"
"It’s not sudden." The arms holding him tightened slightly. "It’s been in the plan all along."
Just as Wen Yan said, it took only a week from planning the trip to their departure.
Standing on unfamiliar soil, Su Jingming felt a sense of unreality. Beside him, Wen Yan pulled a suitcase with one hand and held Su Jingming’s hand with the other as they headed toward their booked hotel.
Before they could even rest at the hotel, Wen Yan took Su Jingming to the largest local temple.
Su Jingming raised an eyebrow. "We’re here to...?"
"To seek the Buddha's blessing." Wen Yan gripped Su Jingming’s hand tightly, his gaze becoming increasingly fervent.
Su Jingming didn't understand why Wen Yan had suddenly become so devoted to this. Neither of them had ever been superstitious about ghosts or gods. He didn't ask, though; he simply followed Wen Yan obediently, bowing before every deity and Buddha.
What he hadn't expected was the profound sincerity Wen Yan showed with every prostration.
It wasn't until night fell that the two of them slowly walked out of the temple.
Having lived in the hustle and bustle for so long, it was rare for Su Jingming and Wen Yan to find such peace. Listening to the distant tolling of the temple bells, the sound struck deep into their souls, allowing their initial restlessness to settle bit by bit.
From beginning to end, Wen Yan never let go of Su Jingming’s hand.
After they had walked a long way from the temple, Su Jingming looked down at their interlaced fingers and finally asked the question on his mind. "Why did you suddenly want to pray? Do you have a wish?"
Wen Yan gave a soft "mm." "I do have a wish."
"What is it?"
Wen Yan turned his head to look at him. The yellow glow of the streetlights elongated his shadow. His voice was very light, tapping gently against Su Jingming’s heart.
"May the one I love live to a hundred."
"May his life be filled with peace and joy."
***
