When I returned to my quarters, the sun had not yet risen. It was that darkest hour before the dawn, and the coldest. The phrase "the biting chill of early spring" sprang unbidden to my mind.
Just as my hand touched the doorframe, I noticed a faint, flickering candlelight through the white paper windowpane. Before I could react, the door opened from within, revealing Su Fengjun’s gentle face. She seemed to breathe a slight sigh of relief upon seeing me.
"You were waiting for me?" I asked, somewhat surprised.
She gave a faint smile and reached out to help me unfasten my outer robe. "I wasn't waiting specifically, but such a commotion broke out in the Imperial Study that even the Empress Dowager was disturbed. I hadn't seen you return, so I was simply worried." As she spoke, she brought a candle closer to inspect my face.
Feeling self-conscious under her gaze, I quickly turned away. "It’s nothing."
She pulled me down to sit at the table and produced an exquisite white jade box. Opening the lid, she revealed a deep red medicinal paste.
"You knew I was struck?" I didn't know whether to praise her cleverness or feel annoyed that the news had traveled so fast.
Using a jade hairpin, she carefully scooped out some ointment and applied it to my swollen cheek. She spoke with a touch of helplessness. "His Majesty has never lost his temper like this in all his years. I could never have imagined he would actually lay a hand on someone."
The ointment felt strangely cool as it seeped into the burning heat of my skin.
She took another dab of the paste. "The Emperor had Eunuch Wang deliver the medicine. How else would I have known?"
My heart skipped a beat. He was furious enough to kill me, yet he still thought to send medicine?
"In truth, His Majesty has been a gentle and kind soul since he was a child," Su Fengjun said, putting the box away and bringing me a cup of hot tea. "I watched him grow up. Because he was frail as a boy and had no one to back him in the palace, he suffered no small amount of bullying. He actually had two elder brothers. When His Majesty was ten, they conspired with the guards of the Eastern Palace to harm him. The Retired Emperor discovered the plot and, in a fit of rage, sent them both to the military. The eldest prince died on the road to Qizhou, and the second prince died shortly after arriving at the Southwest Navy, reportedly unable to adjust to the climate. Only then did His Majesty’s life become easier."
She let out a long sigh. "His Majesty’s nature is truly mild; it is only because he carries too many burdens that his temper occasionally turns volatile."
The candle flickered and died. She made no move to relight it. In the darkness, I couldn't see her expression, but listening to her, it felt as though I—the one who had been slapped—was the one being unreasonable, while she pleaded his case. It seemed blood was indeed thicker than water.
I let out a silent, bitter laugh. "Does Lady Su mean to say that we, as subjects, should simply accept a few slaps now and then to help relieve His Majesty’s stress?"
Su Fengjun remained silent for a moment before saying slowly, "I only wish to advise Master Xi not to act on impulse and bring disaster upon yourself. Though His Majesty is occasionally hasty, he is by no means a fool. He would never lose his head over a single woman. There are matters of the court involved here..." She hesitated, then added, "In fact, I suspect the scene in the Imperial Study was made so loud—and the fact that he struck you—specifically for the benefit of the Sixth Prince."
My heart gave a jolt. Ever since my father mentioned Prince Jing was "recuperating" at home, I had a vague, ill feeling about the Prince’s situation. But Su Fengjun’s words were still somewhat cryptic.
"You are a member of the inner palace. Are you not forbidden from discussing court politics?" I reminded her, half-seriously.
Her bright, intelligent eyes cut through the darkness to find my face. She spoke bluntly. "There is no need to provoke me, Master Xi. I intended to tell you these things today regardless. You can be remarkably composed at times, yet at others, you are as impulsive as a headstrong child. If I don't point it out, I fear you will cause an even greater mess."
A surge of anger rose in my chest, but I clenched my fists and suppressed it.
"I am aware that Master Xi is the daughter-in-law chosen by Prince Jing, and that your ties to the Prince’s manor are extraordinary," she paused, her tone turning grave. "However, every new Emperor brings his own court. The new Emperor has ascended, yet Prince Jing still holds the reins of government. Naturally, the Emperor must take back what is rightfully his..."
The first light of dawn began to tint the window paper behind her—a faint, rosy hue, like freshly applied rouge. Against this beautiful backdrop, Su Fengjun’s silhouette lost its usual frailty. She looked thin, yes, but also sharp.
I had always avoided her, perhaps because I subconsciously disliked this hidden sharpness. I suddenly realized that despite my travels, my judgment of people was still poor—or perhaps it had never been good to begin with. I was old enough to know better, yet I had never developed the knack for reading people, always instinctively judging things by the legal codes I knew so well. It was rather shameful.
"Master Xi?" Hearing no response for a long time, she suspected I had fallen asleep.
"I’m listening, and I hear you quite clearly," I said, stretching my legs lazily. "You’re reminding me not to be self-important or presume upon favor, aren't you? You want me to know that I am merely a pawn in a high-stakes political game, used by the Emperor to test his rivals—not that I have some grand charm that has turned his head. That is your meaning, is it not?"
She seemed a bit taken aback by my bluntness. She stood up and paced a few steps, softening her tone. "I only meant to offer a reminder. I would hate to see a clever person like you make the foolish mistake of striking a stone with an egg out of a moment’s ignorance."
I gave a cold snort and ignored her.
I understood her perfectly. She was telling me to know my place. However, hearing from her mouth that I wasn't the object of some extraordinary affection, but merely a tool, did sting my pride. Who wants to be used in such a manner? A chill settled in my heart—the Emperor’s will was indeed inscrutable.
It occurred to me then that besides testing Prince Jing, he likely also intended to intimidate Marshal Chu. After all, Princess Jing was the Marshal’s sister, and the Marshal held the military power...
What Mingde wanted was the total submission of Marshal Chu and the Prince Jing Manor. This submission, in a form he could accept, would mean absolute obedience—no matter how absurd the Emperor’s proposals, they would have to agree without condition.
And what of Ming Shao? Though he had been valiant in the army, he had never been promoted to a higher rank. I had always assumed Marshal Chu wanted his own kin to gain experience at the grassroots level, but now I realized it was the Emperor’s deliberate suppression of the Prince Jing Manor. Ming Shao, too, would have to show absolute loyalty—loyal enough to obey any command...
That was what Mingde truly wanted. He wanted a gesture of subservience from the Prince Jing Manor. By demanding their daughter-in-law, he was using a near-insulting method to test the absolute limit of Prince Jing’s tolerance.
Following this logic, Mingde’s final move would surely wait until Ming Shao returned; otherwise, the test would lose its meaning. Once I thought through this layer, the gloom that had hung over me for days began to dissipate, replaced by a sudden calm.
I slowly set down my teacup and thought to myself: *Since the grand finale must wait for Ming Shao’s return, then let us all wait for him together. How much time is left? Ten days? Twenty? Is it enough for me to gather my strength?*
It should be enough. I glanced coldly at Su Fengjun. I really ought to thank her; otherwise, I would have spent these days in a frantic, muddled state.
Su Fengjun stepped back with elegant grace, smiling slightly. "It is light out. Why don't I fetch some breakfast? You should eat before you rest, Master Xi."
I looked out the window and cut her off coldly. "Since that's the case, you’ll have to work a bit longer. Wake me in two hours." Without waiting for her reply, I turned and went into my bedroom.
She likely expected me to let her go back to sleep, but I intended to make her endure another two hours. Since she was sent here to be a servant, she might as well fulfill a servant’s duties.
I had come to realize that some people simply aren't worth treating with much consideration.
Two hours later, I finished every scrap of the breakfast Su Fengjun brought, feeling refreshed. Facing her forced smile and the dark circles under her eyes, my mood improved significantly.
Since Mingde had sent her to my side, I would be doing his "kindness" a disservice if I didn't make full use of this resource. Especially considering how little he had paid compared to what he gained.
I found I had a talent for finding joy in misery. While Su Fengjun forced herself to stay awake to help me bathe and change, I hummed a tuneless melody. The other palace maids eventually covered their ears, unable to fathom why Master Xi’s mood had improved so drastically after being slapped twice.
While she did my hair, I was intentionally picky, asking which jewelry looked best. She finally snapped, "Since Master Xi is going to the training grounds, what is the point of wearing jewelry?"
I gave her a playful, sidelong glance. "I am such an important pawn. If I don't dress up to match my significance, how will that do?"
She choked on her words, her face turning slightly pale.
I laughed heartily and strolled out of the bedroom. Beneath the eaves, several expressionless Imperial Guards were waiting for me. Seeing me descend the steps, they immediately followed close behind. I glanced at these six sturdy sentries and was suddenly seized by a mischievous impulse.
I slipped off the green jade bracelet from my left wrist and dropped it by the feet of the guard on my left. With a *crack*, the jade shattered into beautiful fragments. I turned and glared at him. "Such a fine piece, broken just like that? Why didn't you catch it? How can you be a guard with such poor reflexes?"
He stared at me, still expressionless. I took off the bracelet from my right wrist and dropped it by the guard on my right. *Crack*—another one shattered. I gave a cold laugh. "These were bestowed by the Emperor, they are incredibly valuable. And now they’re broken? You think your only job is to stand around? You can't even catch a falling object? What use are you? Go explain yourselves to the Emperor."
With that, ignoring their darkening faces, I turned toward the training grounds. I knew the act was childish, but after everything that had happened, if I didn't find some small entertainment, the frustration in my heart would be unbearable. I truly felt like flipping a table myself.
I arrived at the training grounds with my half-swollen face, thinking indignantly: *Do they really think these few guards can keep me contained? Are they underestimating me? If I truly wanted to leave, could they stop me?*
When I reached the field, the team was already lined up. Seeing my face, they all wore peculiar expressions. I didn't know if they had heard the rumors, but they were all acting with extreme caution, as if sensing my foul mood and fearing they would become the cannon fodder.
"Zhu Bao, Zhu Mo, Shi Yun, Ren Chi, Li Chunjiang, Wang Haoran—step forward." I called out the names with a grim face, then cast a malicious glance at the six guards monitoring me. "These six colleagues have been sent by His Majesty to test your skills. One-on-one. Show me what you’ve got."
Zhu Bao and the others answered with a resounding shout. I added fiercely, "If you lose, the entire team runs twenty laps around the field!"
They were, after all, men handpicked by the Emperor; their skills were indeed superior to ordinary soldiers. It would be a waste not to use such perfect targets when they were delivered right to my door. I had the rest of the team gather around and began to explain in detail the various issues of offense and defense during their bouts.
The following days were both peaceful and stimulating. Every day, someone came to serve as a living target for my team. I assumed Mingde knew about this, but he made no sign. I didn't see him again; perhaps he felt that since the Prince Jing Manor already knew the situation, there was no longer any need to waste time or energy on me. As for whether he harbored any genuine feelings for me, I couldn't figure it out, nor did I feel the need to.
My heart grew lighter. This was what "gathering strength" looked like: living with the mindset of being on vacation, eating and drinking well every day, and letting my team spar with my monitors whenever I got bored—like watching a free martial arts movie.
I saw Mingde and Wuxiu again seven days later, at the Empress’s birthday banquet.
The banquet was held in Rentai Hall. Because it was her first formal grand banquet for the officials since ascending to the throne, it was exceptionally lavish.
My team and I were, naturally, assigned to guard Rentai Hall. It was the same place, the same atmosphere, but the memory of the tragedy that had occurred here—the memory of the brother who died before my eyes—still brought a pang of pain.
As the lanterns were lit, the guests began to arrive under the guidance of the eunuchs. Among them, the first acquaintances I saw were Prince Jing and his consort. The Prince still maintained his refined, scholarly air, as easygoing as ever. When he saw me, he gave me a gentle smile. Outwardly, it seemed as if nothing had changed. But this calm exterior only made my heart sink. Even though I knew Mingde would have found another way to deal with him even without me, I still felt a deep sense of guilt for my awkward position in this affair.
Princess Jing also saw me. Her expression was as serene as ever, but when she smiled at me, I caught a fleeting flash of apology in her eyes. I suddenly wanted to go to her and say that I was the one who should be sorry. Even if she ultimately vetoed my marriage to Ming Shao, I wouldn't blame her.
Left Chancellor Han Gao wore a humble smile, but it couldn't hide his smugness. In contrast, Right Chancellor Shen Qian, having lost the Empress Dowager’s support, was much more low-profile, huddling in a corner with his confidants as if the surrounding splendor meant nothing to him. Back in the Imperial Study, when I was being reprimanded by the Retired Emperor over Lady Changping’s case, he had shown me a small measure of concern, for which I still felt a spark of warmth toward him.
Minzhi’s rank wasn't high enough to be here, and my father hadn't come either. Had he claimed illness again? I wondered if doing so would further offend the Han family.
A dark shadow flashed before me—pale skin, emerald eyes, and a condescending attitude toward everything. It was Feng Tong again.
I lowered my voice irritably. "I’m annoyed. Leave me alone. Get lost."
Beside me, Shi Yun had likely never heard me speak so rudely and shot me a surprised look.
Feng Tong ignored my attitude entirely, still smiling as he studied my cheek. I said impatiently, "What are you looking at? Get inside."
The corners of Feng Tong’s mouth curved into a handsome arc, as if he had encountered something amusing. He shook his head twice, then leaned in close and whispered, "I’ve heard everything. I have eyes and ears in the palace, you know."
I rolled my eyes at him.
Feng Tong gazed at me, his expression finally turning serious. "I’ll be staying in the capital for a while. If you need anything, send someone to Linshui Pavilion to find me."
"Linshui Pavilion?" I glared at him with distaste. "You spend your days loitering in a place like that?"
Feng Tong tilted his head and asked with a grin, "Can I interpret that as you being jealous?"
I rolled my eyes again.
Seeing my reaction, Feng Tong suddenly put on a face of tragic suffering, clutching his chest and wailing softly, "I am a man of means, after all. Having suffered a setback in love, is it so wrong to find a couple of 'understanding flowers' to comfort my wounded heart?"
A smile finally tugged at my lips. I hadn't expected to see him at a time like this, much less that he would use such a method to make me laugh. Unconsciously, a warmth spread through me. I looked around and lowered my voice. "Just go inside. You’re too conspicuous here."
Feng Tong’s green eyes lingered on me as he whispered, "Be careful."
Only after seeing me nod obediently did he turn and enter the hall.
Mingde arrived with the Empress. I noticed the delicate young girl beside the Empress—Han Ying. She had been betrothed to Ming Rui by the Retired Emperor, but the Han family had repeatedly delayed the wedding on the pretext of illness. Seeing her now, radiant and spirited, there wasn't a trace of sickness on her. Likely, her true reason was a refusal to marry into a remote place like Bingzhou.
Seeing her pampered, haughty air, I didn't know whether to be angry for Ming Rui or glad for him. While I was observing Han Ying, her sister was also observing me. But by the time I shifted my gaze to meet hers, she had already looked away, entering the hall with an elegant, dignified smile.
As for Mingde, from beginning to end, he never looked at me once. It was as if I didn't exist at all.
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
--- | --- | ---
春寒料峭 | Biting chill of early spring | A poetic description of the cold in early spring.
仁泰殿 | Rentai Hall | A hall in the palace, site of the banquet.
临水阁 | Linshui Pavilion | A place of entertainment/brothel where Feng Tong stays.
韩高 | Han Gao | The Left Chancellor, father of the Empress and Han Ying.
沈乾 | Shen Qian | The Right Chancellor.
韩莹 | Han Ying | The Empress's younger sister, betrothed to Ming Rui.
解语花 | Understanding flower | A poetic metaphor for a beautiful and empathetic female companion.
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