He Bowen caught up with Qiu Yun on the small path by the community lake, accompanied by a Golden Retriever.
"I’m sorry to have kept you waiting so long," he said, slightly out of breath. "My uncle’s examination took some time. When I came out and saw you were gone, I tried calling, but I couldn't get through."
Qiu Yun pressed a button on her phone; there was no response. It must have run out of power and shut down automatically.
"It was rude of me to leave without saying goodbye," Qiu Yun said, looking down. "I left on my own accord."
Rather than calling it a departure without notice, it was more like a retreat in total defeat.
"Let me walk you out," He Bowen offered. "The paths here are a bit winding. I’ll walk Acai while we’re at it."
"This is..."
"This is my uncle’s dog. Since my uncle fell ill, he’s become very sensitive to bacteria, so he shouldn't keep pets anymore. Acai has to stay in the backyard now. I take him out for a walk every day."
Qiu Yun stared at the dog. It had brownish-yellow fur and dark eyes. Not shy at all, it wagged its tail enthusiastically at her.
"Sister Sima?"
Qiu Yun snapped back to reality. He Bowen was smiling at her.
He was a young man, seemingly in his early twenties, likely still in university. He called Liang He "Uncle," so he was probably a child from his mother's side of the family. The saying "a nephew takes after his uncle" rang true; He Bowen possessed the same tall stature and handsome features as Liang He. In the fragmented morning sunlight, even his eyes held a hint of amber.
Qiu Yun couldn't help but recall the first time she had seen the young Liang He. In the spartan reception room of the girls' dormitory, he had come to see her with snacks that were rare for that era. She had unexpectedly met the twenty-two-year-old Liang He—with his short-cropped hair, high bridge of his nose, sharp brows, and clean-cut face.
"Sister Sima, you seem very familiar with this place. Have you been here before? How did you know my uncle lived here?"
"I haven't been here. You probably know about my situation; after I was discharged, I heard Teacher Liang was ill and wanted to visit him." Qiu Yun invented a reason. "It just so happened that my friend, Lin Shaohua, works at the Housing Bureau, so..."
"So that’s how it is," He Bowen said, enlightened. "Yes. My uncle used to live in the faculty housing at the university, but too many people came to disturb him, so he moved here. It was only when I came to take care of him that I realized he had a house like this under his name. He never mentioned it to us."
Qiu Yun was slightly stunned.
"Then... how is Teacher Liang’s health, exactly?" Qiu Yun stopped in her tracks, asking the question she hadn't managed to ask earlier. "Why won't he go to the hospital? When I was at the hospital for my check-up, I heard the doctors say he chose to give up on treatment?"
He Bowen also paused, sighing. "Yes. He is unwilling to go back to the hospital."
"Why? Is there a specific reason?" Qiu Yun was utterly perplexed. With Liang He’s current social status and wealth, he could easily afford the most advanced medical technology. Why would he give up on himself?
"Our family has tried to persuade him, but it’s no use," a faint shadow of sorrow clouded He Bowen’s young face. "I don’t know how much you know about leukemia, but it’s divided into acute and chronic. Chronic can be treated and controlled with medication, but acute... it’s not as optimistic. The average survival time is only three months."
"...And his is?" Qiu Yun heard herself ask in a very soft voice.
"Acute. Before the diagnosis, Uncle stayed in the hospital. Once it was confirmed, he discharged himself."
"...When was he diagnosed?"
"Around Christmas last year."
Qiu Yun felt the entire world swaying.
From last Christmas until now, more than half a year had passed...
Why?
Why didn't he accept treatment?
And why hadn't she come to find him sooner?!
"My uncle said he doesn't like the smell of hospitals. Perhaps it’s because he studies Buddhism; he isn't that attached to life." He Bowen’s voice sounded somewhat choked. "He said that birth, aging, sickness, and death are naturally ordained by fate, and one should just maintain a relaxed state of mind. All the money that would have gone toward making him suffer in the hospital, he donated to students with financial difficulties at the Academy of Fine Arts."
"So... he is just 'waiting for death' now?" Qiu Yun asked, using that cruel phrase.
He Bowen frowned slightly. He didn't like Qiu Yun being so blunt, but he couldn't deny Liang He’s current actions. He said, "It should be called spending the final stage of life with dignity and quality. He has even bought his own grave."
He had even bought his own grave...
In her panic, Qiu Yun grabbed a tree trunk by the road for support. Her head spun, and the world blurred violently. If she hadn't held onto the tree, she would have surely collapsed.
"It can't be... it can't be..." she murmured to herself. Liang He shouldn't be this kind of person. He was so positive, so healthy and bright; how could he just give up on his life like this? Yet, this was also the man she knew—kind and tolerant, yet firm in his convictions, a student of Buddhism who understood the way of following nature. Even when they first kissed, he had said, "The Buddha wants us to follow our own hearts."
"Sister Sima, are you alright?" He Bowen supported her.
Qiu Yun took a deep breath.
"Your face is very pale. I shouldn't have told you so much and made you so sad."
"I’m fine," Qiu Yun wiped the cold sweat from her forehead. "My blood sugar is a bit low this morning. Does your whole family view life and death so transcendently? Has no one tried to persuade him?"
"We were forced to compromise. Everyone tried, but it was useless. Besides, things have reached this point... the doctors said it’s already terminal. He has already survived longer than most people..." He Bowen said with difficulty. He couldn't bring himself to say the last word, but Qiu Yun knew the word he swallowed was "expected."
A long silence fell between them.
The summer cicadas, ignorant of the world's sorrows, hid among the trees and sang loudly: *Zhi-liao! Zhi-liao!*
"My uncle is a very... very difficult person to describe. I might never truly know him in this lifetime. I’ve always felt he is a mystery," He Bowen said after a long while.
"...A mystery?"
"Yes. His marriage to my aunt, his inherent persistence regarding many things—I can't understand any of it... It’s like, like he’s guarding or waiting for something. He writes the *Diamond Sutra* every year, but he only writes one section a year. There are thirty-two sections in the *Diamond Sutra*, and he persisted for thirty-two years. It wasn't until last year that he finally finished the last section, but not long after, he was diagnosed with leukemia..." He Bowen sighed softly. "Maybe it’s because I’m too young. I don’t know what he was holding on for; if he truly was holding on, why would he give up on life like this..."
***
December 25, 1988. It was Christmas Day in the West, and the streets of Paris, large and small, were filled with a thick festive atmosphere. Tom, an Italian classmate who was also there for advanced studies, called out to him in heavily accented English: "Liang, come spend Christmas with us tonight!"
Liang He smiled and nodded. His English was much better than it had been in China, but this was Paris; English was mostly used at school, so he had also enrolled in a French course. Amidst his intense studies, he never forgot to write to Qiu Xiaoyun every day. But more than half a month had passed, and he hadn't received a single reply. He couldn't help but feel a bit dejected.
"Hey, Liang! There’s a letter for you!" Tom, who had just walked out, turned back.
Liang He’s eyes lit up, and he almost snatched it away. Looking closely, beneath a string of English, there were indeed three square Chinese characters: "To Liang He."
It was Qiu Xiaoyun’s handwriting.
He grinned. Tom nudged him with his elbow and asked gossippily, "Who is it? Your girlfriend?"
He only smiled without answering, unabashedly opening the letter in front of Tom—even if he put the letter right under Tom’s nose, the man wouldn't understand it. Yet Tom, pretending to be a China expert, leaned in and made clicking noises with his tongue despite not knowing a single character: "Ooh, so mushy..."
He was performing exaggeratedly, but as he spoke, he noticed the joy drain from Liang He’s face, replaced by a look of shock.
"What’s wrong?" Tom dropped his teasing expression and asked with concern, "Is it something bad?"
Liang He turned to look at him, his eyes full of shock, surprise, and confusion, even a trace of... disbelieving vacancy. Then he dropped the letter and ran outside.
Tom picked up the stationery that had drifted to the ground, covered in Chinese characters he couldn't read.
*“Dear Liang He, by the time you see this letter, I will no longer be able to stay by your side. Forgive me, for I have my own difficulties. I must go and do something very important now.*
*Do not look for me. You are currently in the golden years of your life; an inch of time is worth an inch of gold. Use your life where it matters most; do not squander it on futile things—like looking for me.*
*If I succeed, I will definitely, definitely come back to find you.*
*If I do not come to find you, please forget me and start a new life.*
*Signed, Qiu Xiaoyun.*
*December 1, 1988.”*
Below was a red seal.
Liang He couldn't believe it was true. He made several long-distance calls back to China and learned that Qiu Xiaoyun had indeed withdrawn from school to join her mother in the UK. He found it too bizarre; Qiu Xiaoyun had never mentioned such a major thing to him. But then he remembered her various abnormalities in the months before he left China, and suddenly it all seemed to have a trail to follow. He felt both hatred and regret, frustrated with himself for not paying more attention at the time. Perhaps if he had been just a little more mindful, he could have kept her. He even wondered—was this all a conspiracy she had planned?
But if it was a conspiracy, what was she after?
Was she after his heart?
If that was what she wanted, it wasn't difficult; he would have given it to her!
No, no, it definitely wasn't like that. He and Qiu Xiaoyun had spent over a year together, and for the last six months, they had seen each other almost every day, inseparable. She was such a bright, kind girl with a bit of cleverness; she would never think of a conspiracy, absolutely not.
Then why, exactly, was this happening?
Liang He refused to give up. He applied for a month’s leave from school and traveled specifically to the UK. On the island of Great Britain, he distributed missing person notices like searching for a needle in a haystack, looking for a Chinese girl named "Qiu Xiaoyun." He used almost every connection available to him, even asking Lu Xialan, who was studying in the US and with whom he hadn't been in contact for a long time.
But the result was: nothing.
Liang He read that letter over and over again until the paper was wrinkled and the handwriting at the folds had faded. He could already recite every word and sentence in the letter. He tried to find any hidden clues she might have left behind.
But the result was: nothing.
Once Liang He had saved enough money from desperately selling paintings and living frugally to buy a plane ticket, he quietly returned to China once. He went to the police station to report it, asking if any pyramid scheme organizations had been busted recently and if there was a person named Qiu Xiaoyun among them.
But the result was: nothing.
Qiu Xiaoyun had simply vanished from the face of the earth.
"Do not look for me."
*I can't find you at all.*
"I will definitely, definitely come back to find you."
*Fine, I will wait for you.*
A year later, Liang He finished his studies and returned to China.
Following the agreement he had made with Qiu Yun, he decorated the house in East Lake Li Garden by himself.
He thought of the day they had viewed the house, when Qiu Yun had asked him while in his arms:
"Liang He, will you wait for me?"
"I’m reluctant to leave."
At the time, Liang He had found it strange; clearly, he was the one leaving, so why was Qiu Yun asking him?
It turned out she knew even then.
It turned out she was already telling him back then.
Suddenly, he felt an uncontrollable pang of heartache.
Workers were moving things in one after another. Liang He carried two scrolls of calligraphy to a wall.
The first section of the *Diamond Sutra* was already framed, and Liang He hung it up.
The second section was also written and hung next to the first, but it had no seal or signature.
He fumbled with the seal in his hand, made of Qingtian stone, its texture warm and smooth.
A tear fell without warning, landing on the spot where a drop of blood had once fallen.
Not long after, Liang He met another old acquaintance—He Ying.
She had studied for two more years and finally got into the Economics Department at B University. During that time, she had written numerous letters to Qiu Yun but never received a reply. Coming to City A to report for school, she asked Liang He about Qiu Yun as soon as she saw him. Upon learning the result, her expression was just like Liang He’s had been—stunned, unable to believe it.
But Liang He was much calmer by then.
He was waiting for her, just as Qiu Yun had said in her letter.
Another half year passed, and He Ying brought her mother to City A for medical treatment. She sought help from Liang He, asking if he knew anyone at the hospital. As it happened, Liang He’s youngest uncle was a specialist in cardiology, so he was able to help quite a bit.
As the seasons turned and the *Diamond Sutra* reached its sixth section, He Ying sought out Liang He again.
"Let’s get married," she said directly.
"Why?"
"Because we love the same woman."
***
After parting with He Bowen, Qiu Yun headed straight for the cemetery in the western suburbs of City A.
*"I came back this time at a great cost, wanting to try and defy heaven to change fate for my granddaughter. I don't know if it will succeed. After you go back, if you find 'Qiu Xiaoyun’s' tombstone in the western suburb cemetery, the dates of birth and death on it will tell you the final result."*
Qiu Zhenghong’s words still rang in her ears.
Since waking up, Qiu Yun’s first instinct had been to go back, back to 1988, but the events that followed made her uncontrollably conflicted. Yet, amidst her hesitation and wavering, Liang He’s life had entered its final countdown.
Qiu Yun searched frantically for "Qiu Xiaoyun’s" tombstone under the scorching midday sun. She prayed in her heart: *No, no, I won't find 'Qiu Xiaoyun' lying here. God, Heavens, please, I beg for Your mercy. Please protect him. Thirty years ago, I unintentionally hurt him; thirty years later, let me save him...*
The first row, the second row, the third row...
Anxious and heartbroken, tears and sweat flowed together. The sun grew more intense. Qiu Yun hadn't slept all night and hadn't had a drop of water all morning; her body was reaching its limit. Only three rows left... She gritted her teeth and persisted, but suddenly—the cicadas went silent, the air froze, and the 38-degree heat plummeted to sub-zero.
Qiu Yun stumbled and collapsed onto the burning ground.
"Qiu Xiaoyun, Born 1969, Died 1994."
No one can change fate.
No one.
***
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 阿才 | Acai | The name of the Golden Retriever. |
| 邱正宏 | Qiu Zhenghong | Likely Qiu Yun's grandfather or a relative from the past. |
| 逆天改命 | Defy heaven to change fate | A common trope/concept of changing one's predestined destiny. |
| 东湖郦苑 | East Lake Li Garden | The name of the villa complex where Liang He lives. |
| 刀与木印 | Seal of Blade and Wood | The name/inscription on Liang He's personal seal. |
| 戊辰龙年 | Year of the Earth Dragon | 1988 in the Chinese sexagenary cycle. |
| 金刚经 | Diamond Sutra | A key Buddhist text; in this story, it has 32 sections. |
| 三十二品 | Thirty-two sections | The traditional divisions of the Diamond Sutra. |
