“Si, you look like you’re doing quite well.”
The foreign woman on the screen smiled. She had curly blonde hair and held a notebook resting on her lap.
“You’ve seen her?”
Si Jiang sat before the computer, the dark circles under his eyes having faded by half.
“Yes. I saw her the second day after I returned to the country.”
“How much of the medication I prescribed before you left do you have left?”
“Some. Recently… I haven’t been taking it much.”
The woman’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. “What did she do? Your sleep has improved this much?”
During his time at the sanitarium, almost all the medical staff knew there was an Asian patient who spent most of his nights either in a state of frenzy or self-harm. Unless he was restrained or injected with sedatives, there was no stopping him.
However, overusing medication led to both resistance and potential addiction, leaving the doctors in a dilemma.
Si Jiang was a difficult patient. No matter who tried to talk to him, he acted as if he couldn't understand, as if he didn't know a word of English. Whether he truly didn't know or was just pretending, no one could say for sure.
Even so, they couldn't ignore him. After all, he was a patient sent there by a client who paid a fortune; they had to do their best to treat him.
The sanitarium tried many methods, but it wasn't until Dr. Louise stepped in that things began to change. Dr. Louise’s mother was Chinese, so she spoke the language. Perhaps it was that rare sense of familiarity in a foreign land that finally made Si Jiang open his mouth and utter his first words since arriving at the facility.
Since then, Louise had been Si Jiang’s primary psychiatrist.
The corners of Si Jiang’s mouth curled up, his eyes shimmering with emotion. “She stays with me while I sleep.”
Louise nodded, noting this down, and asked, “How did you get her to agree to that?”
She watched Si Jiang’s expression closely.
Sure enough, his smile stiffened. He averted his gaze and muttered vaguely, “I told her she had to compensate me because I didn't call the police to have her arrested.”
Louise wrote: *Root cause unresolved; use of coercive tactics.*
“So, she didn’t offer to help you of her own accord. Si Jiang, is this really a good idea? You already have an addictive dependency on her. What if her mind changes later?”
She had heard many fragmented stories from Si Jiang and wasn't particularly optimistic about the relationship between him and this "Master."
Both the "Master" and Si Jiang suffered from severe psychological issues. Rather than a healthy, intimate relationship, they were more accustomed to interacting through abnormal patterns to establish a sense of security.
There were many niche relationship pairings abroad, and she had encountered no fewer than a hundred of them. These "partners" often started with an intensity and bond that surpassed ordinary people, but once one party began to change, the relationship would collapse.
There was always one person left behind in a phantom world, losing the strength to struggle.
Pathological relationships were highly predatory. Unlike the vitality found in equal, independent relationships, these people were more like parasites living off one another until one was sucked dry or the other was no longer satisfied with the nourishment.
Wasn't the Si Jiang who had just been sent to the sanitarium a textbook example of this?
This question clearly struck a nerve.
His expression quickly darkened. “I’m not addicted. I’m just using her, taking my revenge. Once I’m tired of her, I won't need her anymore.”
“She’s a liar, I know that. I won’t trust her.”
“It’s just sleep, isn't it? I can take ten pills, twenty, thirty! I’ll fall asleep eventually!”
Seeing Si Jiang spiraling into a manic state again, Louise interrupted him, her tone softening. “But I remember you saying she isn't someone who can be threatened, isn't that right?”
Si Jiang was drawn back by her words.
“She has been through many terrible things, but has she ever yielded?” Louise guided him carefully.
Si Jiang shook his head and gave a small smile. “Her bones are too hard. No one can break them.”
“Then why did she agree just because you accused her using something that happened a long time ago? How did the conversation go? Did she hesitate?”
Louise’s questions left Si Jiang a bit dazed. Were these details important?
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“I can.”
Si Jiang rested his chin on his hand and began to reminisce.
“That day, I was injured and went to the infirmary. Because I was so tired, I accidentally fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already dark, and the lights weren't on in the room…”
As if recalling the scene, Si Jiang’s body instinctively tensed.
“And then?” Louise asked.
“Then, *it* appeared again. This time, it wanted to strangle me. No matter how I fought back, it was useless. It still had that smell of rotting saltiness.”
“Yes, like you said—the smell of the box you were locked in as a child.”
“Right. That smell. It was exceptionally crazed this time, coming directly with the intent to kill me, so no matter how I struggled, it was no use.”
Louise frowned and wrote in her notebook: *Abnormal increase in self-destructive urges. What was the trigger? Was it caused by her?*
“How did you get away from it?”
“She appeared.”
Louise looked up and saw a distorted joy surfacing on Si Jiang’s face, one he seemed unaware of.
“As soon as she came, it ran away. I knew it was most afraid of her.”
The experienced psychiatrist felt a sense of foreboding and tried to remind him, “Si Jiang, we’ve discussed this. Those are just your hallucinations. They progressed from auditory to visual and tactile hallucinations. None of it is real.”
Si Jiang lowered his eyes. “I remember.”
But no matter how clear his mind was, it was no match for his instinctive fear. It was just like telling a child there are no ghosts in the dark; it didn't mean they would stop being afraid.
“I smelled the scent on her. Cheap soap.” He mocked, “After all this time, she’s still using that impoverished crap.”
“But that smell made me snap out of it instantly. She held me and asked what was wrong. I said someone in the dark was trying to kill me. She didn't laugh at me; instead, she told me we should leave that place first. She pulled me into the light and then asked if I felt better.”
“I said I wanted to go home.”
Louise caught a few oddities but didn't point them out, continuing to follow his lead. “And she took you home.”
“Yes, she took me home. I thought she would leave, but she stayed. She applied medicine to my wounds without asking about them. I was angry that she wanted to leave right after finishing, so I couldn't control my emotions and smashed some things.”
“I recall you saying that before, she would want to punish you for breaking things.”
“Yes.”
“And this time? What was her reaction?”
“She told me not to smash things whenever I get angry… She didn't seem angry herself?”
Louise raised an eyebrow. Interesting.
“And then?”
“Then I cursed at her for ruining me like this and told her she had to pay the price. She asked me what I wanted her to do.”
“What did you say?”
“I said… stay with me while I sleep.”
Relying on her solid professional skills, Louise suppressed a burst of laughter. She cleared her throat and asked one last thing: “And how did she respond?”
“She said, ‘Okay.’”
What a fascinating girl; Louise was starting to feel curious.
She seemed passive, yet every one of Si Jiang’s reactions and actions appeared to be within her expectations—perhaps even part of a plan.
If this "she" harbored ill intent and wanted to destroy Si Jiang, he would certainly meet a miserable end; he was no match for her.
However, based on the details described, "she" did seem to have hidden motives directed at Si Jiang, yet Louise couldn't sense any malice.
Louise sighed. “I’d really like to see what she looks like.”
Si Jiang hesitated. “Doctor, do you want to see her photo?”
Louise was startled. “You’re willing to show me?”
One had to understand that she had yet to coax the girl’s name out of Si Jiang; his mouth was like a sealed vault when it came to that.
“Yeah. I trust you won't tell anyone else.”
He took out his phone, tapped around for a moment, opened his album, and pressed it against the camera.
In the photo was a girl with a very cold expression and aura. She was using a computer, looking extremely focused. Her neck was straight and slender, and her back was as upright as a lonely pine standing on a snowy mountain.
Si Jiang said softly, “I took this secretly a long time ago.”
Fortunately, he had been cautious enough to put all photos related to Zong Yan into a private album, and Zong Yan had deleted their message history in advance. That was why no information had leaked when his parents confiscated his phone.
“She is indeed very special.”
Louise glanced at the time; the consultation was almost over. She called Si Jiang’s attention back. “Si, would you like to hear my suggestion?”
“Go ahead, Doctor.”
“I think you can use her a bit more. Your demands can be even more bold—you can push the boundaries further.”
“Huh?” Si Jiang couldn't process that. “Didn't you just say this would make it harder for me to break my addiction?”
“Since being near her stabilizes your condition, why not make the most of it?”
Louise winked mischievously and then ended the international consultation.
***
When Si Jiang appeared in the classroom, he once again drew everyone’s gaze.
It was the height of summer, so wearing long sleeves and pants was one thing. But why was he wearing a silk scarf around his neck every day now? Was this some new fashion trend that they, the common folk, just didn't understand?
Zong Yan heard a girl grumble, “This just proves that fashion is 100% about the face. If it were anyone else, I’d definitely say they were mentally ill.”
“Right? Having good looks really lets you do whatever you want. I’m so jealous! I wish I were that handsome.”
“So you could charm thousands of girls?”
“Haha, you know me best. Beautiful girls are fragrant; men, well, they’re creatures best viewed from a distance.”
That description was strangely apt.
Zong Yan found it amusing. She flipped through her book, her ears still tuned to the chatter of her peers.
This was a life she had never known.
Si Jiang’s gaze accurately locked onto Zong Yan, and he strode toward her.
“Hey.” He tapped on Zong Yan’s desk.
Zong Yan looked up. “?”
“Check your phone.”
Leaving behind that cool command, Si Jiang turned gracefully and walked toward his seat in the corner.
He initially wanted to lean down for his habitual nap, but then he remembered he had slept very well beside Zong Yan last night. He wasn't sleepy at all right now.
Fine then, he would reluctantly listen to the lecture today.
He rested his cheek on his hand, staring at Zong Yan’s back.
Why hadn't she checked her phone yet?
Si Jiang’s brow furrowed, and he poked his pen against the desk in dissatisfaction.
Did she not hear what he said?
Does that mean he has to go back up there and say it again?
*Tsk, what a troublesome person.*
Just as Si Jiang was about to stand up, the professor walked in with a book. He was forced to glue his backside back to the chair he had barely warmed.
*Annoying, annoying, annoying.*
Why was time moving so slowly?
Finally, class ended. Si Jiang could finally move, and his phone vibrated.
“Hey, come over tonight.”
Zong Yan replied: “No.”
Si Jiang: *What should I do? I feel like smashing things again.*
***
### Glossary
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 露易丝 | Louise | Si Jiang's psychiatrist at the sanitarium. |
| 癔症 | Manic state / Hysteria | Used here to describe Si Jiang's psychological episodes. |
| 幻听 | Auditory hallucinations | Hearing things that aren't there. |
| 幻觉 | Visual hallucinations | Seeing things that aren't there. |
| 幻触 | Tactile hallucinations | Feeling things that aren't there (e.g., being strangled). |
| 时尚的完成度全靠脸 | Fashion's completion depends entirely on the face | A popular Chinese internet slang/trope meaning if you're attractive, you can pull off any outfit. |
| 草鳖 | Common folk / "Grass turtles" | Slang for ordinary people or those who aren't trendy/wealthy. |
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