What did she mean?
Was she tired of him already? Did she find him annoying?
Si Jiang’s face darkened. Ignoring the presence of everyone else, he walked straight up to Zong Yan as she was packing her things.
"Hey."
His tone was unfriendly, his expression cold.
Zong Yan ignored him, methodically placing her textbooks and pens into her bag.
"Hey!"
Si Jiang’s composure broke. He slammed his hands onto the desk, forcing Zong Yan to look at him.
Zong Yan spared him a glance but didn't respond. She slung her bag over her shoulder and brushed the wrinkles out of her trousers.
"Why are you ignoring me? Are you deaf—ah."
He was about to start shouting, but a single look from Zong Yan made him shut his mouth. He pursed his lips, his face full of stubborn defiance.
"Who is 'Hey'? I don't know him," Zong Yan finally replied.
"..."
Her attitude, even more arrogant than his own, made him grit his teeth in fury.
"Zong Yan. Zong Yan, alright?"
Only when he spoke her name did Zong Yan fold her arms and look at him expressionlessly.
"What is it?"
With the interruption, the smoldering fire in his chest lost its fuel.
Si Jiang’s shoulders slumped as he asked, "What did you mean by that WeChat message? Why aren't you coming?"
He had finally managed to get a few days of good sleep; he had absolutely no desire to return to those nights of tossing and turning.
"You’re not regretting it already, are you? I’m telling you, you owe—"
"Shut up."
Zong Yan’s quiet command effectively locked his jaw.
*By what right does she speak to me like that? Why is she commanding me? Who does she think she is?*
*And why the hell did I actually shut up?*
Si Jiang was fuming—furious at Zong Yan’s attitude, and even more furious at himself.
"Come with me."
Zong Yan looked back. Many people in the classroom were watching the spectacle, ears perked for gossip. She gave Si Jiang a pointed look.
"Don't make a scene in the classroom."
Her voice was soft, but it didn't soothe Si Jiang at all.
*When was I making a scene?*
*So what if I do?*
*Who are you to tell me what to do?*
With a dark expression, he followed Zong Yan to a deserted corner. Along the way, his gaze turned into sharp arrows, repeatedly piercing Zong Yan’s back.
Zong Yan stopped and turned around, her expression finally gaining a hint of warmth.
"I can't go to your house tomorrow or the day after."
"Why?"
Si Jiang didn't even realize how many times he had asked Zong Yan "why." It seemed that from the very beginning, he had been trying to find some kind of answer from her. But no matter how many times he asked, he never got what he wanted, and he was never satisfied.
"I have an internship. I need to rest."
The company was too far from the school; she had to catch an early bus.
"Internship?"
Si Jiang looked at her skeptically. Was this woman just making excuses?
"Our major doesn't start internships until senior year."
"If you don't want to sleep with me, just say so. Don't lie to me."
Zong Yan frowned. "Why would I lie to you?"
*Haven't you lied to me enough already?*
"My situation is special; the school has already approved it. I go to the internship two days a week."
Si Jiang studied her expression, trying to find evidence of a lie, but found nothing. He braced his right hand against the wall, leaning in close to Zong Yan, his eyes full of threat. "You’d better not be lying to me, otherwise..."
"You won't want to know the price."
"Oh," Zong Yan replied, devoid of emotion. "I think I know better than anyone what you would do. So, are you finished asking?"
Her attitude suddenly turned cold. Her gaze fell on Si Jiang’s arm braced beside her.
"If you're finished, please move away, Young Master Si. I don't like people getting this close to me."
Si Jiang’s hand stiffened, and he froze in place.
*What did she call me?*
Zong Yan reached out and pushed him back a step. She gave a polite nod, then turned and walked away without hesitation.
*She called me... Young Master Si?*
***
"Hey, Old Si, why are you so out of it?"
On the screen, a small character with a dwindling health bar let out a pathetic cry and died once again.
Chen Bai couldn't take it anymore. He tossed the controller aside and asked, "You invited me over to play games, but you're not focusing at all. How many times have you died now?"
Si Jiang looked like he was on the verge of sudden death again. His cool-toned hair hung by his eyes, making his skin and lips look even paler.
"Haven't slept."
Si Jiang threw his controller onto the floor and buried his head in the sofa.
"I only slept for an hour yesterday."
Chen Bai sighed. "I thought your condition had improved a lot?"
Otherwise, the Si parents wouldn't have let him return to the country. People like them were extremely concerned with "face" and wouldn't allow the Si family's reputation to be tarnished.
"Heh."
Si Jiang placed a hand over his forehead, staring coldly at the ceiling.
If he wanted to come back, who could stop him?
"Hey, you didn't lie to your parents, did you?"
Looking at his state, a bold guess jumped into Chen Bai’s mind.
"Si Jiang, you really have some nerve."
He clicked his tongue in amazement. Most of these second-generation heirs relied entirely on their families to fund their luxurious lifestyles. Even if there were occasional rebels, none of them dared to truly defy their families or go against them. They couldn't give up their current lives, so they couldn't truly disobey their parents' orders.
Just like Chen Bai himself—though he lived a carefree and free life now, dating one girl after another, he knew that as soon as he graduated from university, his freedom would expire. Joining the company to learn the ropes and entering an arranged marriage were obligations he had to fulfill.
Si Jiang... Si Jiang used to be like that too.
But after returning from being missing for a year, he seemed different.
As Chen Bai watched the melancholy and world-weariness his friend unconsciously revealed, he couldn't help but remember those days in the hospital.
"Quick, get more people over here! Pin the patient down!"
The luxury private ward was in total chaos.
As soon as Chen Bai stepped off the elevator, he heard shouting from a distance. He looked in that direction and saw a nurse running out of a room, clutching a bleeding hand.
That was Si Jiang’s room.
His heart sank, and he hurried over.
A few curious patients and nurses were gathered at the door. Inside, it was a battlefield. Several doctors and nurses were in a standoff with Si Jiang.
Chen Bai looked at him.
Si Jiang was in a hospital gown. Every visible part of him was emaciated to a terrifying degree. His long hair was a tangled mess, clinging to his face like a madman's. He held a sharp object, pointing it at the crowd, his voice a raspy roar: "Let me go! I'm not sick! I have to find someone!"
The doctor signaled a nurse to approach with a sedative while trying to soothe him. "Mr. Si, we mean no harm, and we aren't trying to stop you. Please, put down what's in your hand first, alright?"
"No, no, I won't. I know you're lying. You all think I'm crazy..."
Si Jiang laughed desolately.
"Si Jiang, what are you doing? Causing a hospital riot? You're malnourished, the old injury on your leg hasn't healed, and you have a high fever. Where do you think you're going?!"
"Put it down! Be careful not to hurt yourself!"
Chen Bai approached him, trying to explain the situation.
Si Jiang’s haggard eyes stared at Chen Bai through the gaps in his hair. "You get out too. I don't want to see you. If it weren't for you, none of this would be happening."
Chen Bai was furious. "So I'm in the wrong for trying to save you?"
"Who asked you to interfere? I told you so many times I was doing fine! Why did you have to come looking for me!"
"You think you're saving me? Do I need your saving? You all look at me with such self-righteousness, saying it's for my own good. Did you ever ask what I wanted?"
Chen Bai asked, "What do you want?"
Si Jiang’s mouth opened and closed as if a name were about to escape, but in the end, it only turned into: "I want her..."
"Who is she?"
Chen Bai looked at him blankly.
Si Jiang shut his mouth, not saying another word.
Chen Bai found it ridiculous. Since when had his brother become this kind of person? For the sake of someone who had harmed him, he would rather be seen as a madman than reveal a single shred of information?
"Si Jiang, you really are crazy."
"Maybe."
Si Jiang let out a low laugh. Under everyone’s wary gaze, he pressed the sharp object against his own neck.
"Let me go, or I'll drive it in."
Chen Bai was horrified. "Si Jiang, what are you doing? Don't be impulsive!"
Si Jiang pressed his lips thin, stubbornly maintaining his threatening posture.
For a moment, no one dared to move forward.
Until the sound of high heels echoed from the hallway. A middle-aged couple entered the ward, dressed in exquisite, sophisticated attire, as if they had just rushed over from some banquet.
"Si Jiang? What are you doing!"
Seeing his wretched state, a flash of disgust crossed Mrs. Si’s eyes.
"Do you even know who you are anymore?"
"...Mom?"
Si Jiang hadn't seen that familiar face in a long time. For a moment, complex and unspeakable emotions flooded his heart—both longing and a sense of trance.
His hand loosened slightly.
Mrs. Si walked up to him in her high heels. Her well-maintained hand rose and delivered a sharp, heavy slap to his face.
Si Jiang’s head was whipped to the side.
He looked at his mother in a daze.
"It's one thing to go missing, but now you're causing a scene in the hospital. Have you had enough? If the media finds out, where will the Si family put its face?"
Her thin brows were tightly knit; there was almost no sign of joy at her son’s safe return.
"You will stay in this hospital quietly. Don't even think about stepping out the door! Look at your face... tsk."
At least he used to have a face that could maintain appearances. Now even his face was ruined. What sin had she committed to give birth to such a useless child?
"Mom..."
Si Jiang’s lips trembled, and his expression instantly turned ashen.
"Is that all you have to say?"
"What else is there?"
Standing to the side, Chen Bai watched with a racing heart. He desperately wanted to break the eerie atmosphere between mother and son, but he couldn't find a place to intervene.
He could only silently sweat for his friend in sympathy.
*Old Si, really, stop fighting. If your parents hadn't failed at IVF, you might not even have a home to go back to now...*
Not long after, Chen Bai heard that Si Jiang had been transferred to the psychiatric department.
He tried to visit, but he was always refused.
The abnormal situation kept him in a state of constant unease; he felt as though something terrible was about to happen. Even if Si Jiang seemed emotionally unstable, it wasn't as if his brain had stopped working. Besides, even if there were mental issues, couldn't they just be treated? Why forbid visitors?
He found an opportunity to sneak in. Standing outside the ward and looking through the window, he saw a scene that remained unimaginable to him to this day—the doctors were actually giving Si Jiang electric shocks. His childhood friend, once so proud and unrestrained, now had no dignity left. He was bound tightly to a chair, his whole body convulsing, his eyes rolling back.
Was that how you treated a patient? It was clearly how you treated a madman...
No matter what Si Jiang had done, it shouldn't have come to this.
He saw the doctors and nurses take advantage of Si Jiang’s unconscious state to remove the collar from his neck, seemingly thinking it hindered the treatment. They tossed it aside carelessly.
Chen Bai, of course, remembered that thing. Whenever Si Jiang was emotionally unstable, he would subconsciously clutch it. It was as if it were the final rope tethering his sanity.
As the doctors and nurses pushed Si Jiang away, Chen Bai quickly turned his back, pretending to be a passerby.
After they left, Chen Bai entered the ward and stuffed the forgotten item into his pocket.
Not long after, he heard a scream so filled with terror it was unbearable to hear.
He never thought his brother could make such a sound.
"Where is my thing? Where is my thing!?!?"
The doctors and nurses assumed he was having an episode and quickly pinned him to the bed to inject a sedative.
With his limbs held down, Si Jiang craned his neck forward, veins bulging, his face contorted. "My thing! Give me back my thing!"
"Quick, inject him!" the doctor urged.
With trembling hands, the nurse aimed at his arm and plunged the needle in.
Si Jiang looked at them helplessly, his eyes full of pleading. "I beg you, give it back to me..."
Unfortunately, no one was willing to listen.
He was like a hollow shell without soul or dignity, left to be manipulated by others.
*Master, where are you? Why won't you come save me...*
Tears welled from his tightly closed eyes, seeping into his hair like blood.
That night, another scream echoed through the silent hospital.
A patrolling nurse discovered that Si Jiang had shattered the bathroom mirror and used the shards to slash both of his wrists.
After that, no sharp objects could be found in Si Jiang’s room.
So, on another night, he used his teeth to brutally tear through his artery. Blood sprayed across his face. His lifeless expression looked like that of a corpse, as if he could feel nothing at all.
Chen Bai finally couldn't take it anymore. He came to Si Jiang’s bedside.
"Si Jiang, are you really going to live or die for a woman? Are you still Si Jiang?"
Si Jiang just stared blankly at the ceiling, as if he had lost all reaction to the outside world.
"I really look down on you like this!"
Si Jiang’s breathing didn't even change.
His soul seemed to have drifted to a place Chen Bai didn't know—a place that was peaceful and illusory, yet held Si Jiang’s heart in a death grip.
"Si Jiang, what will it take for you to stop trying to kill yourself?"
Chen Bai was also on the verge of a breakdown.
He had originally thought that bringing Si Jiang back was for his own good, to let him live the happy life he once had. But why had things developed to this point? Why did he feel like he was gradually losing his brother instead?
"Here."
He tossed something into Si Jiang’s arms.
It was round, flat, and very light, yet it was like a defibrillator suddenly hitting his chest, causing his heart to throb violently.
Si Jiang’s gaze finally moved. Jerkily, it landed on the wax piece in his arms. Then, like a wounded infant, he curled up around that small object, letting out a sob.
Chen Bai couldn't bear to watch any longer and left.
He had originally intended to throw away the collar and everything on it; he had even tossed it into the trash. Something that clearly carried connotations of restraint and humiliation should have been discarded long ago to prevent it from further influencing Si Jiang.
But by some strange impulse, he had remembered Si Jiang’s various abnormalities and the stubbornness with which he refused to reveal any secrets even at the cost of everything.
He had removed the wax piece from the collar.
Now, it seemed, he had truly saved Si Jiang’s life...
***
**Glossary**
Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation
---|---|---
司少 | Young Master Si | A formal/distanced way to address a son of the wealthy Si family.
实习 | Internship | Zong Yan's reason for not being able to visit.
镇静剂 | Sedative / Tranquilizer | Used by the hospital to control Si Jiang.
电击 | Electric shock / ECT | Electroconvulsive therapy used on Si Jiang.
项圈 | Collar | The item Si Jiang wore while missing, which he is obsessed with.
蜡块 | Wax piece / Wax seal | A specific part of the collar that Si Jiang treats as a lifeline.
医闹 | Hospital disturbance / riot | A term for patients or families causing trouble in a medical setting.
