"Going abroad?"
Zong Yan glanced at the crowd, her fingers tightening around her phone. "Teacher, do you think I have the money to go abroad?"
"I didn't say you had to pay for it."
"…?"
Yan Ge set his phone on the desk, switched it to speakerphone, and began flipping through the documents in front of him.
"It’s a company project specifically targeting fresh graduates. You’d be stationed at an overseas branch for a year. You’ve always been outstanding, so of course I nominated you. Besides, the working hours there are flexible; you could even apply for a master's degree while you're at it."
Zong Yan replied, "Tell me the downsides first."
She didn't believe in windfalls falling from the sky.
"Good, you're level-headed. There are downsides, of course. The location is South America."
It wasn't a developed region like Europe or North America. It was South America—a place of greater wildness and risk.
Grasslands, volcanoes, the Amazon rainforest, endless salt flats…
In an instant, the words and photographs that had once existed only in geography books erupted in her mind. Zong Yan felt her stagnant heart, which had been slumbering for the better part of her life, suddenly stir awake.
"Well? It’s a bit far, and things might not be as peaceful there as they are at home. But I think you’re a good fit. First, you have no family ties holding you back; you can make your own decisions. Second, a distant land, an unknown journey—doesn't that tempt you?"
Zong Yan didn't answer, but Yan Ge could hear her breathing. It had lost its usual composure.
He advised, "Think it over. I’ll hold the spot for you."
"Alright. Thank you, Teacher."
Yan Ge hung up and tucked the file into his drawer. Having lived most of his life, it wasn't easy to find a disciple he actually liked. Since he had the authority, he naturally wanted to give the best opportunities to her first.
Zong Yan walked home in a daze, her mind racing with thoughts along the way. They were all thoughts of the future.
She was rarely like this. Memories usually haunted her, interjecting themselves into her every thought, making every action feel like walking through wet cement—heavy and burdened.
But today was different. What she imagined in her mind was a vibrant, multifaceted future—one that might no longer be stable, but was infinitely more brilliant.
Could she really have a life like that?
When she opened the door, a tiny, enthusiastic creature immediately lunged at her feet, excitedly sniffing her legs.
Zong Yan’s heart suddenly sank.
She crouched down and rubbed Past’s head. "I’m home."
Then, she sighed.
Nothing was ever that simple. She couldn't just leave whenever she wanted.
Past stuck out his tongue to lick her chin, but Zong Yan pressed him down. "No."
"Whimper." The puppy sat back on his haunches.
"Senior?"
A familiar voice sounded from the doorway.
Zong Yan turned around. It was Bai Mao.
For a moment, a silence fell between them. Since that day, they hadn't had a chance to talk, and even their accidental encounters had become much rarer.
Bai Mao was carrying his backpack, looking like he had just returned from class. He stood in the entryway, gripping his backpack straps, looking somewhat hesitant.
"Can I come in?"
"Of course."
Zong Yan stood up and set out the slippers Bai Mao usually wore. She went to the kitchen, poured a glass of water, and handed it to him.
Bai Mao took it, cradling the glass with both hands as he sat down. "Thank you, Senior."
"Mm." Zong Yan nodded and sat across from him.
The room fell silent again, save for Past, who was excitedly nudging Bai Mao, trying to grab his attention.
"Alright, alright, Past. Be good." Bai Mao had no choice but to set the water down and free his hands to pet the dog.
Seeing this, Zong Yan’s mood inexplicably relaxed quite a bit.
She opened her mouth. "You—"
"Senior, is something on your mind?" Bai Mao beat her to it, asking first.
Zong Yan was surprised. "Why do you ask?"
She had thought Bai Mao would ask her about Si Jiang.
"I saw you at the door just now. You didn't look very happy." The bright youth smiled without a hint of gloom. He said to Zong Yan, "Senior, if something’s wrong, you can tell me. You know I’m always willing to listen."
It was just like when Zong Yan had first been resuscitated. He had cried until his eyes were as puffy as a goldfish's, sobbing as he told her: *“Senior, if you’re ever unhappy in the future, you can tell me. Even though... even though I might not be very useful, as long as someone shares the burden, the pain will definitely lessen.”*
That was just how Bai Mao was; he never made others feel pressured.
Zong Yan’s gaze softened. She stopped thinking about what had happened at the cinema and organized her words, actually speaking to him. "I might have an opportunity to work abroad..."
She briefly explained the situation.
Past suddenly stood up and looked at Bai Mao with confusion. His back had hurt for a split second, but the pain vanished instantly. He forgot about it immediately, wagged his tail, and went off to play by himself.
"That’s great! Senior, this is a rare opportunity!" Bai Mao pulled his hand back and hid it behind his back, his face full of pleasant surprise. "Studying abroad is very expensive. Even for my family, it would be a significant expense."
"Senior, do you want to go?"
Zong Yan pursed her lips and then said, "But there are many things here... Sister Yao, and Past..."
If she went abroad, what would happen to Past? And... she wouldn't think about *him* for now.
"Senior, Sister Wang will definitely support you! Why worry about that? She’d love to see you soar. As for Past..." Bai Mao looked at the little yellow dog playing by itself. "I can take care of him for you."
He turned back to Zong Yan and smiled again, his eyes sparkling like starlight. "Over the past year or so, he’s become like a best friend to me."
Usually, when Zong Yan was busy, it was Bai Mao who looked after Past. If one really calculated it, Bai Mao might have spent more time with Past than she had.
Zong Yan hadn't expected him to say that. She thought Bai Mao would at least show some resistance. It wasn't as if she didn't understand his feelings.
"Do you really think so?" Zong Yan asked.
"Of course! Senior, as long as you want to go, I will support you with everything I have!" After saying that, he ran over, picked up Past’s front paws, and held them up. "We support you fully!"
"As long as... as long as you aren't leaving forever." His voice grew smaller. "Senior, you'll come back, right?"
In that moment, the youth who had been forcing himself to be cheerful finally let his true emotions show.
Zong Yan walked over, pulled him up, and ruffled both his and Past’s heads.
"I haven't decided yet. But even if I go, of course I’ll come back."
"This is my home."
***
It was only after Bai Mao returned to his own apartment that his face collapsed. He tossed his backpack aside, looking utterly dejected.
*Bai Mao, oh Bai Mao, you’re so tough.*
*Senior is going somewhere so far away, and the first thing out of your mouth is support.*
*Arghhhhhhh!*
*This is so frustrating!*
He grabbed his hair violently, scratching his head into a bird's nest. But this was Senior’s own life; he couldn't interfere.
And...
Bai Mao thought of something unpleasant, and the corners of his mouth drooped even further. It wasn't that he didn't want to ask about what happened at the cinema—he wanted to ask so badly he could die!
That Si Jiang clearly had something going on with Senior. Something he didn't know about.
But if Senior didn't take the initiative to tell him, it meant she didn't want to say it yet, so he couldn't ask. Even though he was incredibly uneasy and felt that the situation with Si Jiang was definitely not simple—and his attitude toward Senior was strangely ambiguous—he wouldn't force her to answer.
Senior had worked so hard to get where she was; he didn't want to become another source of stress in her life.
*Argh, Bai Mao, you deserve to be single!*
*If Senior really goes abroad, what am I going to do?*
At the thought of this, a few tears fell to the floor.
The next day, Zong Yan went to the faculty office to consult a teacher about the relevant information. By the time she stepped out, she had made her decision, her strides firm as she walked toward the future.
Consequently, she didn't notice that another teacher in the office was currently on a video call with a student.
On the other side of the screen was a familiar face.
"Teacher, was that Zong Yan who just walked past?"
"Yes, do you know her too?"
"Yeah. I think I heard... she’s going abroad?"
| Chinese | English | Notes/Explanation |
| :--- | :--- | :--- |
| 晏格 | Yan Ge | Zong Yan's department supervisor and mentor. |
| 白袤 | Bai Mao | Zong Yan's junior who has feelings for her. |
| 王姐 / 瑶姐 | Sister Wang / Sister Yao | Refers to Wang Yao, the landlady/friend. |
| Past | Past | The name of Zong Yan's dog. |
| 司疆 | Si Jiang | A character from Zong Yan's past, currently a student/athlete. |
| 生活委员 | Life Secretary | A class committee member responsible for student welfare/logistics. |
| 体育委员 | Sports Secretary | A class committee member responsible for sports activities. |
