What Should I Do? My Sexual Orientation is Normal [Gender Bender] | Chapter 49 | The Weight of Expectations | Novela.app

Chapter 49 - The Weight of Expectations Qiu Minmin did not fall ill often, but whenever she did, her constitution made it difficult for her to recover quickly. What began as a heat-induced fever spiraled into a lingering cold that persisted for over a month, leaving her physically and mentally exhausted. Her parents had been working away from home for years. During the first two weeks of her illness, they had noticed the nasally quality of her voice over the phone and immediately launched into a barrage of reproaches, scolding her for being old enough to know better than to neglect her health. By the latter two weeks, however, they seemed to have grown accustomed to the sound. They no longer asked if she was feeling better, their concern replaced by the usual, relentless lectures. They spoke of the necessity of diligent study, the dangers of mingling with "delinquents," and the sin of vanity. "It isn't easy for us to earn money to put you through school," they would remind her, their words a heavy mantle of guilt she was forced to wear. Minmin had a fiery temper and loathed these lectures, yet she lacked the courage to talk back. She could only swallow her grievances, letting the bitterness fester in her heart. When the midterm results were finally posted, the reality was stark. Due to her prolonged illness, she had fallen behind, and her ranking in this first major exam of high school plummeted outside the top one hundred. Meanwhile, her friends Jun Ting, Li Lijuan, and Yu Qing had all secured spots in the sixties and seventies—to say nothing of the academic titans like Fei Cheng and Cheng Yifei, who remained firmly entrenched in the grade's top five. She was still reeling from the disappointment when her parents called to inquire about her grades. After a long, suffocating silence, she told them the truth. As expected, the voice on the other end turned sharp with suspicion. *Are you in a relationship? Are you playing on your phone? Have you been sneaking off to internet cafes? Why can your classmates rank in the top seventy while you can't? Didn't we tell you not to compare yourself to others? Don't you know our family's situation?* Minmin stood alone by the school gates, clutching the phone as she listened to the verbal lashing in silence. She had never tried to compete with others for material things, but since the eighth grade, her parents had never missed an opportunity to warn her. They reminded her of their poverty, the debts they owed, and the agonizing sacrifices they made for her education. The first time she heard those words, she had been consumed by guilt. Raised by her grandmother, she had been told that her parents only left to work because of her. She believed it. But when her grandmother passed away when she was seven, Minmin was sent to live at her uncle’s house, only to discover that the parents she saw once a year now had a two-year-old son by their side. She didn't get along with her cousins, nor with her younger brother. Unwilling to suffer in silence, she frequently clashed with them, earning herself a rebellious reputation in the village. Back in middle school, she had intended to drop out and work to pay her parents back. If Fei Cheng and the others hadn't dragged her along, she wouldn't even be in high school now. The more she thought, the angrier she became. She wanted to scream, to hurl harsh words back at them, but the memory of the new clothes they bought her and the tuition they paid stayed her tongue. Their relationship was a lukewarm, awkward thing—neither close nor entirely estranged. She didn't know how to argue with them. If it were the village gossips speaking, she could have turned her words into daggers, but with her parents, she was paralyzed. Fei Cheng happened to be walking toward the school gate to pick up a delivery when he spotted Minmin crouching in a corner. Seeing her on the phone, he initially kept his distance. However, as he turned back after signing for his package, he saw Minmin suddenly slam her phone onto the ground. It wasn't a violent throw, but rather the frustrated, helpless gesture of a child throwing a tantrum. Minmin’s life trajectory had already shifted from what Fei Cheng remembered of his own past. He didn't know the specifics of her current struggle, but he walked over and knelt to pick up the dirt-smudged slider phone. He blew the dust off, wiped it clean, and handed it back to her. "What's wrong?" he asked softly. "Who upset our Minmin? Tell your Brother Cheng, and I'll go settle the score for you." Minmin looked up, meeting Fei Cheng’s concerned gaze. Her nose crinkled, her eyes welled with tears, and she could no longer hold it back. She broke down into a sobbing mess right there in front of him, gasping out his name between hiccups. This was the first time Fei Cheng had seen "himself" cry across two lifetimes. Unless pushed to the absolute brink of despair, he had always been the type to endure until the dead of night before letting a single tear fall. He moved to block the view of passing students, drawing Minmin into a protective embrace and patting her back as she wept. She cried for several minutes before her sobs began to subside into quiet hiccups. At dusk, the horizon was painted with fiery clouds. The setting sun cast long, intertwined shadows on the ground—a sight that greeted Cheng Yifei as he came looking for Fei Cheng. He stood still for a moment, watching the two of them huddled together. Hearing Minmin’s fading sobs, he turned away with gentlemanly grace, leaving them to their privacy. Shortly after he left, Minmin pulled away from Fei Cheng’s embrace and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice hoarse. Fei Cheng patted her head. He placed his delivery box on the ground to act as a cushion and gestured for her to sit, knowing her legs must be numb from crouching. "Don't be silly. Why are you apologizing to me? It's my fault for not protecting you better." Seeing her rubbing her face so hard that her cheeks turned red, he gently pulled her hands away and used the soft inner lining of his own sleeve to dab away the remaining tears. Minmin looked up, her almond-shaped eyes still shimmering. She lowered her head and whispered, "Chengcheng, I don't want to study anymore. I want to go find a job." Fei Cheng wasn't surprised by the thought. He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "Brother Cheng said... things can be repaid." "Huh?" Minmin didn't understand. "Do you want to go get some snail rice noodles?" Minmin glanced at the small noodle shop near the gate and nodded. Inside the shop, Fei Cheng ordered two large bowls of snail rice noodles with beef brisket and chicken legs. He poured her a cup of hot tea and said, "If you want to earn money, you have to build a foundation first. You'll have plenty of time to work in the future, but the more you know, the more choices you'll have—and the more money you'll make. You aren't even sixteen yet. What kind of work could you do? Work an assembly line? Be a waitress?" He continued, his voice steady and pragmatic. "A salary of two or three thousand might cover your current needs, but will it sustain you later? No. The world is changing, prices are rising, but entry-level wages stay stagnant. Eventually, machines might replace those jobs entirely. Ask yourself: do you truly want to drop out? Do you want to face society alone right now? I think it's better to do what is appropriate for our age." "Trust me," he added, looking her in the eye. "You will eventually repay them for raising you. As you grow, you'll realize there are many things you can't understand right now." Minmin stared at him in shock. "How... how do you know all this? Did you hear the call?" Fei Cheng offered a faint smile but didn't correct her. In truth, he didn't need to hear the call; he had lived through these exact emotions and made the same desperate decisions in his previous life. But this time, he had no intention of quitting, no matter how awkward his own family situation was. The shop owner brought over the steaming bowls of noodles. Fei Cheng handed Minmin a pair of disposable chopsticks. "Eat something and calm down. Getting angry at yourself only hurts you, and it isn't worth it. We'll talk more after we eat." Under his quiet encouragement, Minmin finished the entire bowl. As the warmth of the food settled in her stomach, her heart grew calmer. She sipped her tea, watching Fei Cheng eat slowly. "They're good to me one moment and cold the next," she said softly. "They only care about my grades, never my life. My mom buys me clothes and shoes, and when I was little, she’d braid my hair and make me look pretty. But she’d also beat me every time she came home. I’ve always been afraid of her. Now that I’m in high school, she doesn't hit me anymore, but I still can't talk to her. They believe whatever others say but never believe me. They decide on a reason for my behavior and refuse to hear anything else. It’s exhausting. Honestly... it feels like having no parents would be better than having them." Fei Cheng’s hand paused. He set down his chopsticks and wiped his mouth. "You can't open up to them." Minmin bit her lip. "I can't say it. I don't want to." "Is it because of the midterms?" "Yes. You all did so well, and I failed. They said I'm useless. They told me if I don't want to study, I should come home and farm to stop wasting their money." It wasn't the first time she’d heard it, but it was the first time she’d admitted it aloud. Fei Cheng pushed the tea closer to her. "Those are words spoken in anger. Don't take them to heart. They’re new to being parents; they don't know how to express care, just like you don't know how to call them 'Mom' and 'Dad' affectionately. Their high expectations are real, but so is their limited way of showing concern. If you, like me, stop craving their affection, you can find a different way to coexist." "Stop craving it? How do I change how we coexist?" "Give them what they want," Fei Cheng said simply. Minmin looked confused. "They want you to bring them honor, and you need to study anyway. Your goals are aligned. This midterm was just a fluke because you were sick. Use the finals to prove yourself. Once your grades are back up, you can go home, lock your door, and say you need to study. They won't bother you; in fact, they'll be happy to see it." "It won't work," Minmin said, looking down. "If a test is out of a hundred and I get a ninety-nine, they'll only ask why I didn't get a hundred. I've tried, but they're never satisfied. They've never praised me." Fei Cheng thought for a moment. "Maybe it's because they believe you're capable of that hundred. Minmin, we might not have full control over our lives yet, but we can choose not to be led by the nose. Your parents are demanding and cold, but they aren't trying to ruin you. Think about yourself. Think about your future. Once you have a goal, these distractions won't feel so heavy." "You said you wanted to earn money, right?" he prompted before she could argue. "Yes." "Then you should look into Finance." "Finance?" The fifteen-year-old Minmin had never even considered the word. She had no life plan; her world had always been a cycle of studying and testing. "Yes," Fei Cheng said encouragingly. "In Finance, you learn about economic management, law, and corporate wealth. You can design financial tools, manage risks, and handle investment strategies. Your math foundation is solid. If you're interested, it’s a path worth taking." "Chengcheng, how do you know so much?" Minmin’s attention was completely diverted. "I read it in magazines at the library," he lied smoothly. "I told you to read more than just textbooks." "Does Finance pay well?" "If you're good, companies will fight over you. But the pressure is high." Minmin slapped the table lightly. "As long as the pressure isn't from my parents, I can handle it! I've decided! I'm going to university for Finance!" Seeing her regained spark, Fei Cheng smiled. "Good. Are you still upset?" "No! I'll show them when I get my grades back. I'm going to earn enough to buy my own house and move out! Then I'll just send them an allowance every month and see them as little as possible!" She took a deep breath. "Chengcheng, have you noticed? Our families only care about grades." "They do. Our parents' generation thinks education is the only way out. We can't change the era we live in, so we have to adapt. There’s no harm in learning more; it lets you see further." "You're right! Let's go, I need to get back to my homework!" Minmin stood up to pay, telling Fei Cheng, "This is my thanks for the 'chicken soup' advice." Fei Cheng laughed. He wasn't giving "chicken soup" for the soul; he was just offering the perspective of someone who had already failed once. He wasn't even sure of his own path yet. In his last life, he had spiraled into depression and committed suicide at an age only a year or two older than he was now—around the time he would have been a college freshman. They parted ways at the sports field. Fei Cheng returned to his dorm with the flattened delivery box, finding Cheng Yifei sitting on his bed reading. "Brother Cheng," Fei Cheng greeted him. Cheng Yifei looked up. Fei Cheng began unpacking his delivery by the trash can near the door. "Have you showered yet?" "I have," Cheng Yifei replied, watching his back. "Wait for me then, I'll be quick." "Okay." It was Friday, and most students had gone home. Only Fei Cheng and Du Hui remained in their room, but Du Hui had seen Cheng Yifei arrive and immediately felt safe enough to head out for the night, declaring he wouldn't be back until morning. Cheng Yifei waited patiently as Fei Cheng gathered his things—clothes, towel, toiletries—and disappeared into the bathroom. As the sound of the shower began, Cheng Yifei's grip tightened on the pages of his Advanced Mathematics textbook. *Is this another secret he can't tell me?* He remained silent for a long time, eventually deciding not to ask about Fei Cheng hugging Minmin. Only when the water stopped did he finally turn the page. As he grew older, he became increasingly certain of what he wanted. They were still young, and he wasn't financially independent yet. If he pushed too hard now, he wouldn't be able to protect Fei Cheng from the fallout. For now, he had to focus on his studies. He couldn't let his own selfishness pressure Fei Cheng or drive a wedge between them. He would help when needed and stay silent when necessary. That was the plan, at least. Whether he could stick to it was another matter. Fei Cheng emerged from the bathroom, a cloud of steam following him. Seeing Cheng Yifei in the same position as before, he sat on the edge of the bed. "Brother Cheng, I ran into Minmin at the gate earlier." Cheng Yifei looked up. "She was having a hard time with her parents. I gave her some advice... suggested she look into Finance for college." Cheng Yifei’s expression softened. He thought about Minmin’s academic strengths and nodded. "If she’s willing to work for it, she could do well there." "I'll keep an eye on her. I don't want her doing anything impulsive." Fei Cheng hung up his towel and climbed onto his bed. He glanced at Cheng Yifei’s book. "Brother Cheng, were you daydreaming? I finished a whole shower and you only turned one page?" Cheng Yifei’s eyes crinkled with a hidden smile as he closed the book. "What about you? What do you want to study in university?" "Me? I'm not sure yet," Fei Cheng said, sitting beside him. "Maybe a teacher?" "Be a university professor then. It's less exhausting," Cheng Yifei suggested. "I'm planning on Finance, with a minor in Computer Science." "It's good to have a goal. I wonder what Fish-head wants to do." As if on cue, Yu Qing burst into the room. "Let's go, brothers! Let's go out for a real meal!" Both Fei Cheng and Cheng Yifei turned to look at him. Fei Cheng asked, "Fish-head, what major do you want to take in college?" Yu Qing froze. "Wait... we haven't even finished the eleventh grade yet, and you're already talking about college majors?" Cheng Yifei countered, "A goal gives you a direction to strive for. Or are you just studying for the sake of a score?" "Right now, I definitely am," Yu Qing said, sitting down and crossing his legs. "I need the score so I have better options. My only real plan is to go to the same university as you two. My dad mentioned Accounting or Law, but I'll worry about that once I have the grades. Choosing a major only takes a day of thinking, what's the rush?" Fei Cheng conceded that he had a point. Yu Qing checked his phone. "Hurry up, hurry up! I'm starving!" Fei Cheng started putting on his shoes. "Alright, we're coming. What are we eating?" "Chicken pot or Malatang? Should we invite Jun Lu and the girls? Actually, never mind. Let's just make it us three. We need some 'man talk'!" "Which girl are you 'admiring' now?" Fei Cheng teased. Yu Qing’s "crushes" changed five times a semester. He never confessed or even approached them; he simply admired them from afar before moving on to the next. The reason could be as simple as a nice smile or a pretty profile. His reasons were as varied as they were fleeting.